西班牙文化之旅

Chapter 1

第 1 章

Like most small children, I learned my home address so that if I got lost, I could tell a grown-up where to take me. In kindergarten, when the teacher asked me where I lived, I could recite the address without skipping a beat, even though my mother changed addresses frequently, for reasons I never understood as a child. Still, I always distinguished “my address” from “my home.” My address was where I spent most of my time with my mother and sister, wherever that might be. But my home never changed: my great-grandmother’s house, in the holler, in Jackson, Kentucky.

像大多數小孩子一樣，我學會了我的家庭住址，這樣如果我迷路了，我可以告訴大人帶我去哪裡。在幼稚園時，當老師問我住在哪裡時，我可以毫不猶豫地背誦位址，儘管我的母親經常更換位址，原因我小時候一直不明白。儘管如此，我總是將“我的位址”與“我的家”區分開來。我的位址是我與母親和姐姐度過大部分時間的地方，無論那裡在哪裡。但我的家從未改變：我曾祖母的房子，在肯塔基州傑克遜的喧囂中。

Jackson is a small town of about six thousand in the heart of southeastern Kentucky’s coal country. Calling it a town is a bit charitable: There’s a courthouse, a few restaurants—almost all of them fast-food chains—and a few other shops and stores. Most of the people live in the mountains surrounding Kentucky Highway 15, in trailer parks, in government-subsidized housing, in small farmhouses, and in mountain homesteads like the one that served as the backdrop for the fondest memories of my childhood.

傑克遜是一個擁有約六千人口的小鎮，位於肯塔基州東南部的煤炭之鄉的中心地帶。稱它為小鎮有點慈善：這裡有一座法院、幾家餐館（幾乎都是速食連鎖店）和其他一些商店和商店。大多數人住在肯塔基州 15 號公路周圍的山區、拖車公園、政府補貼的住房、小農舍和山區宅基地，就像我童年最美好回憶的背景一樣。

Jacksonians say hello to everyone, willingly skip their favorite pastimes to dig a stranger’s car out of the snow, and—without exception—stop their cars, get out, and stand at attention every time a funeral motorcade drives past. It was that latter practice that made me aware of something special about Jackson and its people. Why, I’d ask my grandma—whom we all called Mamaw—did everyone stop for the passing hearse? “Because, honey, we’re hill people. And we respect our dead.”

傑克遜人對每個人都說你好，心甘情願地跳過他們最喜歡的消遣，從雪地里挖出陌生人的車，並且——無一例外——停下車，下車，每次葬禮車隊駛過時都站在那裡。正是后一種做法使我意識到傑克遜及其人民的特別之處。為什麼，我會問我的奶奶——我們都叫她媽媽——每個人都停下來等靈車經過嗎？“因為，親愛的，我們是山民。我們尊重我們的死者。

My grandparents left Jackson in the late 1940s and raised their family in Middletown, Ohio, where I later grew up. But until I was twelve, I spent my summers and much of the rest of my time back in Jackson. I’d visit along with Mamaw, who wanted to see friends and family, ever conscious that time was shortening the list of her favorite people. And as time wore on, we made our trips for one reason above all: to take care of Mamaw’s mother, whom we called Mamaw Blanton (to distinguish her, though somewhat confusingly, from Mamaw). We stayed with Mamaw Blanton in the house where she’d lived since before her husband left to fight the Japanese in the Pacific.

我的祖父母在 1940 年代後期離開傑克遜，在俄亥俄州的米德爾敦養家糊口，後來我在那裡長大。但在我十二歲之前，我的暑假和大部分時間都回到了傑克遜。我會和媽媽一起去拜訪，她想見朋友和家人，她總是意識到時間正在縮短她最喜歡的人的名單。隨著時間的流逝，我們旅行的首要原因只有一個：照顧媽媽的母親，我們稱她為媽媽布蘭頓（為了將她與媽媽區分開來，儘管有點令人困惑）。我們和布蘭頓媽媽一起住在她丈夫去太平洋與日本人作戰之前她一直住的房子里。

Mamaw Blanton’s house was my favorite place in the world, though it was neither large nor luxurious. The house had three bedrooms. In the front were a small porch, a porch swing, and a large yard that stretched into a mountain on one side and to the head of the holler on the other. Though Mamaw Blanton owned some property, most of it was uninhabitable foliage. There wasn’t a backyard to speak of, though there was a beautiful mountainside of rock and tree. There was always the holler, and the creek that ran alongside it; those were backyard enough. The kids all slept in a single upstairs room: a squad bay of about a dozen beds where my cousins and I played late into the night until our irritated grandma would frighten us into sleep.

布蘭頓媽媽的房子是我最喜歡的地方，雖然它既不大也不豪華。房子有三間臥室。前面是一個小門廊，一個門廊秋千，還有一個大院子，一邊延伸到山上，另一邊延伸到吼叫者的頭上。雖然布蘭頓媽媽擁有一些財產，但其中大部分是無法居住的樹葉。沒有後院可言，雖然有一個美麗的岩石和樹木的山腰。總是有呐喊聲，還有沿著它流淌的小溪;那些已經足夠後院了。孩子們都睡在樓上的一個房間里：一個大約有十幾張床的小隊隔間，我和我的表兄弟們在那裡玩到深夜，直到我們惱怒的奶奶嚇得我們睡著了。

The surrounding mountains were paradise to a child, and I spent much of my time terrorizing the Appalachian fauna: No turtle, snake, frog, fish, or squirrel was safe. I’d run around with my cousins, unaware of the ever-present poverty or Mamaw Blanton’s deteriorating health.

周圍的群山對一個孩子來說是天堂，我花了很多時間恐嚇阿巴拉契亞動物群：沒有、蛇、青蛙、魚或松鼠是安全的。我和我的表兄弟們一起跑來跑去，沒有意識到無處不在的貧困，也不知道布蘭頓媽媽的健康情況每況愈下。

At a deep level, Jackson was the one place that belonged to me, my sister, and Mamaw. I loved Ohio, but it was full of painful memories. In Jackson, I was the grandson of the toughest woman anyone knew and the most skilled auto mechanic in town; in Ohio, I was the abandoned son of a man I hardly knew and a woman I wished I didn’t. Mom visited Kentucky only for the annual family reunion or the occasional funeral, and when she did, Mamaw made sure she brought none of the drama. In Jackson, there would be no screaming, no fighting, no beating up on my sister, and especially “no men,” as Mamaw would say. Mamaw hated Mom’s various love interests and allowed none of them in Kentucky.

在深層次上，傑克遜是屬於我、我姐姐和媽媽的地方。我愛俄亥俄州，但它充滿了痛苦的回憶。在傑克遜，我是人們認識的最堅強的女人的孫子，也是鎮上最熟練的汽車修理工;在俄亥俄州，我是一個我幾乎不認識的男人和一個我希望不認識的女人的遺棄兒子。媽媽來肯塔基州只是為了一年一度的家庭聚會或偶爾的葬禮，當她去時，媽媽確保她沒有帶任何戲劇。在傑克遜，不會有尖叫，不會打架，不會毆打我妹妹，尤其是“沒有男人”，正如媽媽所說的那樣。媽媽討厭媽的各種愛情，並且不允許他們在肯塔基州。

In Ohio, I had grown especially skillful at navigating various father figures. With Steve, a midlife-crisis sufferer with an earring to prove it, I pretended earrings were cool—so much so that he thought it appropriate to pierce my ear, too. With Chip, an alcoholic police officer who saw my earring as a sign of “girlieness,” I had thick skin and loved police cars. With Ken, an odd man who proposed to Mom three days into their relationship, I was a kind brother to his two children. But none of these things were really true. I hated earrings, I hated police cars, and I knew that Ken’s children would be out of my life by the next year. In Kentucky, I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t, because the only men in my life—my grandmother’s brothers and brothers-in-law—already knew me. Did I want to make them proud? Of course I did, but not because I pretended to like them; I genuinely loved them.

在俄亥俄州，我變得特別善於駕馭各種父親形象。史蒂夫（Steve）是一個中年危機患者，戴著耳環來證明這一點，我假裝耳環很酷——以至於他認為也適合打耳洞。奇普是一個酗酒的員警，他把我的耳環看作是“少女”的標誌，我臉皮厚，喜歡警車。肯是一個奇怪的男人，在他們交往三天后向媽媽求婚，我是他兩個孩子的好兄弟。但這些都不是真的。我討厭耳環，我討厭警車，我知道肯的孩子明年就會離開我的生活。在肯塔基州，我不必假裝自己不是我，因為我生命中唯一的男人——我祖母的兄弟和姐夫——已經認識我了。我想讓他們感到驕傲嗎？我當然知道了，但不是因為我假裝喜歡他們;我真的很愛他們。

The oldest and meanest of the Blanton men was Uncle Teaberry, nicknamed for his favorite flavor of chewing gum. Uncle Teaberry, like his father, served in the navy during World War II. He died when I was four, so I have only two real memories of him. In the first, I’m running for my life, and Teaberry is close behind with a switchblade, assuring me that he’ll feed my right ear to the dogs if he catches me. I leap into Mamaw Blanton’s arms, and the terrifying game is over. But I know that I loved him, because my second memory is of throwing such a fit over not being allowed to visit him on his deathbed that my grandma was forced to don a hospital robe and smuggle me in. I remember clinging to her underneath that hospital robe, but I don’t remember saying goodbye.

布蘭頓人中最年長、最卑鄙的人是茶莓叔叔，他因最喜歡的口香糖口味而得名。蒂貝里叔叔和他的父親一樣，在二戰期間在海軍服役。他在我四歲時就去世了，所以我對他只有兩個真實的記憶。在第一部中，我正在逃命，Teaberry 拿著彈簧刀緊隨其後，向我保證如果他抓住我，他會把我的右耳喂給狗。我跳進了布蘭頓媽媽的懷裡，可怕的遊戲結束了。但我知道我愛他，因為我的第二個記憶是，在他臨終前不被允許探望他，以至於我的祖母被迫穿上病號服，把我偷偷帶進去。我記得在那件病號服下緊緊抱著她，但我不記得說再見。

Uncle Pet came next. Uncle Pet was a tall man with a biting wit and a raunchy sense of humor. The most economically successful of the Blanton crew, Uncle Pet left home early and started some timber and construction businesses that made him enough money to race horses in his spare time. He seemed the nicest of the Blanton men, with the smooth charm of a successful businessman. But that charm masked a fierce temper. Once, when a truck driver delivered supplies to one of Uncle Pet’s businesses, he told my old hillbilly uncle, “Off-load this now, you son of a bitch.” Uncle Pet took the comment literally: “When you say that, you’re calling my dear old mother a bitch, so I’d kindly ask you speak more carefully.” When the driver—nicknamed Big Red because of his size and hair color—repeated the insult, Uncle Pet did what any rational business owner would do: He pulled the man from his truck, beat him unconscious, and ran an electric saw up and down his body. Big Red nearly bled to death but was rushed to the hospital and survived. Uncle Pet never went to jail, though. Apparently, Big Red was also an Appalachian man, and he refused to speak to the police about the incident or press charges. He knew what it meant to insult a man’s mother.

接下來是寵物叔叔。寵物叔叔是個高個子，機智俏皮，幽默感不修邊幅。作為布蘭頓船員中經濟上最成功的，彼特叔叔很早就離開了家，開始了一些木材和建築業務，這使他在業餘時間賺到了足夠的錢來賽馬。他似乎是布蘭頓人中最好的，有著成功商人的圓滑魅力。但這種魅力掩蓋了兇猛的脾氣。有一次，當一個卡車司機給彼特叔叔的一家企業運送物資時，他對我的鄉巴佬叔叔說：“你這個婊子，現在把這個卸下來。寵物叔叔從字面上理解了這句話：“你這麼說，你是在罵我親愛的老母親是婊子，所以我請你說話更小心。當司機——因為他的體型和頭髮顏色而被昵稱為“大紅”——重複了侮辱時，彼得叔叔做了任何理性企業主都會做的事情：他把這個人從卡車上拉下來，把他打昏，然後用電鋸在他的身體上來回移動。大紅差點流血致死，但被緊急送往醫院並倖免於難。不過，寵物叔叔從未進過監獄。顯然，大紅也是阿巴拉契亞人，他拒絕與警方談論這一事件或媒體指控。他知道侮辱一個男人的母親意味著什麼。

Uncle David may have been the only one of Mamaw’s brothers to care little for that honor culture. An old rebel with long, flowing hair and a longer beard, he loved everything but rules, which might explain why, when I found his giant marijuana plant in the backyard of the old homestead, he didn’t try to explain it away. Shocked, I asked Uncle David what he planned to do with illegal drugs. So he got some cigarette papers and a lighter and showed me. I was twelve. I knew if Mamaw ever found out, she’d kill him.

大衛舅舅可能是媽媽的兄弟中唯一一個不關心這種榮譽文化的人。他是一個老叛逆者，有著飄逸的長髮和更長的鬍鬚，他喜歡一切，除了規則，這也許可以解釋為什麼當我在老宅基地的後院發現他的巨型大麻植物時，他沒有試圖解釋它。我大吃一驚，問大衛叔叔他打算如何處理非法毒品。於是他拿了一些煙紙和打火機給我看。那年我十二歲。我知道如果媽媽知道了，她會殺了他。

I feared this because, according to family lore, Mamaw had nearly killed a man. When she was around twelve, Mamaw walked outside to see two men loading the family’s cow—a prized possession in a world without running water—into the back of a truck. She ran inside, grabbed a rifle, and fired a few rounds. One of the men collapsed—the result of a shot to the leg—and the other jumped into the truck and squealed away. The would-be thief could barely crawl, so Mamaw approached him, raised the business end of her rifle to the man’s head, and prepared to finish the job. Luckily for him, Uncle Pet intervened. Mamaw’s first confirmed kill would have to wait for another day.

我擔心這一點，因為根據家族傳說，媽媽差點殺了一個人。在她十二歲左右的時候，媽媽走到外面，看到兩個男人把家裡的牛裝進卡車的後座——在一個沒有自來水的世界里，這是珍貴的財產。她跑進去，拿起一把步槍，開了幾槍。其中一名男子倒下了——腿部中彈——另一名男子跳上卡車，尖叫著離開了。這個潛在的小偷幾乎無法爬行，所以媽媽走近他，將步槍的一端舉到男人的頭上，準備完成這項工作。幸運的是，彼得叔叔介入了。Mamaw的第一次確認殺戮將不得不等待另一天。

Even knowing what a pistol-packing lunatic Mamaw was, I find this story hard to believe. I polled members of my family, and about half had never heard the story. The part I believe is that she would have murdered the man if someone hadn’t stopped her. She loathed disloyalty, and there was no greater disloyalty than class betrayal. Each time someone stole a bike from our porch (three times, by my count), or broke into her car and took the loose change, or stole a delivery, she’d tell me, like a general giving his troops marching orders, “There is nothing lower than the poor stealing from the poor. It’s hard enough as it is. We sure as hell don’t need to make it even harder on each other.”

即使知道一個裝滿手槍的瘋子媽媽，我也覺得這個故事很難相信。我調查了我的家人，大約一半的人從未聽說過這個故事。我相信的部分是，如果有人沒有阻止她，她會謀殺那個男人。她憎惡不忠，沒有比階級背叛更大的不忠了。每當有人從我們的門廊偷了一輛自行車（據我統計了三次），或者闖入她的車，拿走了零錢，或者偷了快遞，她都會告訴我，就像一個將軍向他的部隊下達行軍命令一樣，“沒有什麼比窮人從窮人那裡偷東西更卑鄙的了。這已經夠難了。我們當然不需要讓彼此更難。

Youngest of all the Blanton boys was Uncle Gary. He was the baby of the family and one of the sweetest men I knew. Uncle Gary left home young and built a successful roofing business in Indiana. A good husband and a better father, he’d always say to me, “We’re proud of you, ole Jaydot,” causing me to swell with pride. He was my favorite, the only Blanton brother not to threaten me with a kick in the ass or a detached ear.

布蘭頓所有男孩中最小的是加里叔叔。他是家裡的寶貝，也是我認識的最可愛的男人之一。加里叔叔年輕時就離開了家，在印第安那州建立了一家成功的屋頂企業。一個好丈夫和一個好父親，他總是對我說，“我們為你感到驕傲，ole Jaydot”，這讓我感到自豪。他是我的最愛，是布蘭頓唯一一個不用踢屁股或脫落耳朵來威脅我的兄弟。

My grandma also had two younger sisters, Betty and Rose, whom I loved each very much, but I was obsessed with the Blanton men. I would sit among them and beg them to tell and retell their stories. These men were the gatekeepers to the family’s oral tradition, and I was their best student.

我奶奶還有兩個妹妹，貝蒂和羅斯，我非常喜歡她們，但我癡迷於布蘭頓的男人。我會坐在他們中間，懇求他們講述和複述他們的故事。這些人是這個家庭口頭傳統的守門人，而我是他們最好的學生。

Most of this tradition was far from child appropriate. Almost all of it involved the kind of violence that should land someone in jail. Much of it centered on how the county in which Jackson was situated—Breathitt—earned its alliterative nickname, “Bloody Breathitt.” There were many explanations, but they all had one theme: The people of Breathitt hated certain things, and they didn’t need the law to snuff them out.

這種傳統大多不適合兒童。幾乎所有的暴力事件都涉及應該讓某人入獄的暴力。其中大部分都集中在傑克遜所在的縣——Breathitt——如何贏得它的綽號“Bloody Breathitt”。有很多解釋，但它們都有一個主題：Breathitt的人討厭某些東西，他們不需要法律來扼殺它們。

One of the most common tales of Breathitt’s gore revolved around an older man in town who was accused of raping a young girl. Mamaw told me that, days before his trial, the man was found facedown in a local lake with sixteen bullet wounds in his back. The authorities never investigated the murder, and the only mention of the incident appeared in the local newspaper on the morning his body was discovered. In an admirable display of journalistic pith, the paper reported: “Man found dead. Foul play expected.” “Foul play expected?” my grandmother would roar. “You’re goddamned right. Bloody Breathitt got to that son of a bitch.”

Breathitt 血腥事件中最常見的故事之一圍繞著鎮上一名被指控強姦一名年輕女孩的老人展開。媽媽告訴我，在審判前幾天，這名男子被發現面朝下躺在當地的一個湖裡，背部有16處槍傷。當局從未調查過這起謀殺案，唯一提到這一事件的是在他的屍體被發現的那天早上出現在當地報紙上。該報以令人欽佩的新聞精髓展示報導：「人被發現死了。犯規是意料之中的。“犯規嗎？”我祖母會咆哮。“你說得對。血腥的呼吸找到了那個婊子的兒子。

Or there was that day when Uncle Teaberry overheard a young man state a desire to “eat her panties,” a reference to his sister’s (my Mamaw’s) undergarments. Uncle Teaberry drove home, retrieved a pair of Mamaw’s underwear, and forced the young man—at knifepoint—to consume the clothing.

或者有一天，茶莓叔叔無意中聽到一個年輕人說想“吃她的內褲”，指的是他姐姐（我媽媽）的內衣。茶莓舅舅開車回家，取回了媽媽的一條內褲，用刀逼迫這個年輕人吃掉了衣服。

Some people may conclude that I come from a clan of lunatics. But the stories made me feel like hillbilly royalty, because these were classic good-versus-evil stories, and my people were on the right side. My people were extreme, but extreme in the service of something—defending a sister’s honor or ensuring that a criminal paid for his crimes. The Blanton men, like the tomboy Blanton sister whom I called Mamaw, were enforcers of hillbilly justice, and to me, that was the very best kind.

有些人可能會得出結論，我來自一個瘋子家族。但這些故事讓我覺得自己像鄉巴佬的皇室成員，因為這些都是經典的善惡對比故事，我的人民站在正確的一邊。我的人民是極端的，但在為某事服務時是極端的——捍衛姊妹的榮譽或確保罪犯為他的罪行付出代價。布蘭頓的男人，就像我叫媽媽的假小子布蘭頓姐姐一樣，是鄉巴佬正義的執行者，對我來說，這是最好的那種。

Despite their virtues, or perhaps because of them, the Blanton men were full of vice. A few of them left a trail of neglected children, cheated wives, or both. And I didn’t even know them that well: I saw them only at large family reunions or during the holidays. Still, I loved and worshipped them. I once overheard Mamaw tell her mother that I loved the Blanton men because so many father figures had come and gone, but the Blanton men were always there. There’s definitely a kernel of truth to that. But more than anything, the Blanton men were the living embodiment of the hills of Kentucky. I loved them because I loved Jackson.

儘管他們有美德，或者也許正因為如此，布蘭頓人充滿了惡習。他們中的一些人留下了被忽視的孩子、出軌的妻子或兩者兼而有之的痕跡。我甚至不太了解他們：我只在大型家庭聚會或假期期間看到他們。儘管如此，我還是愛他們，崇拜他們。有一次，我無意中聽到媽媽告訴她媽媽，我愛布蘭頓的男人，因為有那麼多父親的形象來來去去，但布蘭頓的男人總是在那裡。這肯定是有道理的。但最重要的是，布蘭頓人是肯塔基州山丘的活生生的化身。我愛他們，因為我愛傑克遜。

As I grew older, my obsession with the Blanton men faded into appreciation, just as my view of Jackson as some sort of paradise matured. I will always think of Jackson as my home. It is unfathomably beautiful: When the leaves turn in October, it seems as if every mountain in town is on fire. But for all its beauty, and for all the fond memories, Jackson is a very harsh place. Jackson taught me that “hill people” and “poor people” usually meant the same thing. At Mamaw Blanton’s, we’d eat scrambled eggs, ham, fried potatoes, and biscuits for breakfast; fried bologna sandwiches for lunch; and soup beans and cornbread for dinner. Many Jackson families couldn’t say the same, and I knew this because, as I grew older, I overheard the adults speak about the pitiful children in the neighborhood who were starving and how the town could help them. Mamaw shielded me from the worst of Jackson, but you can keep reality at bay only so long.

隨著年齡的增長，我對布蘭頓男人的癡迷逐漸消失，就像我對傑克遜作為某種天堂的看法成熟一樣。我將永遠認為傑克遜是我的家。它美得不可思議：當十月的樹葉翻開時，似乎鎮上的每一座山都著火了。但是，儘管傑克遜的美麗和所有美好的回憶，傑克遜是一個非常嚴酷的地方。傑克遜告訴我，「山民」和「窮人」通常意味著同樣的事情。在Mamaw Blanton's，我們會吃炒雞蛋、火腿、炸土豆和餅乾作為早餐;午餐炸博洛尼亞三明治;晚餐還有湯豆和玉米麵包。許多傑克遜家庭不能這麼說，我知道這一點，因為隨著年齡的增長，我無意中聽到大人們談論附近饑餓的可憐孩子以及鎮上如何幫助他們。媽媽保護了我免受傑克遜最糟糕的影響，但你只能讓現實保持這麼久。

On a recent trip to Jackson, I made sure to stop at Mamaw Blanton’s old house, now inhabited by my second cousin Rick and his family. We talked about how things had changed. “Drugs have come in,” Rick told me. “And nobody’s interested in holding down a job.” I hoped my beloved holler had escaped the worst, so I asked Rick’s boys to take me on a walk. All around I saw the worst signs of Appalachian poverty.

在最近一次去傑克遜的旅行中，我一定要在媽媽布蘭頓的老房子里停下來，現在住著我的二表弟裡克和他的家人。我們談到了事情是如何變化的。“毒品進來了，”里克告訴我。“而且沒有人對保住一份工作感興趣。我希望我心愛的吼叫者逃脫了最壞的情況，所以我讓瑞克的孩子們帶我去散步。我到處都看到了阿巴拉契亞貧困的最糟糕跡象。

Some of it was as heartbreaking as it was cliché: decrepit shacks rotting away, stray dogs begging for food, and old furniture strewn on the lawns. Some of it was far more troubling. While passing a small two-bedroom house, I noticed a frightened set of eyes looking at me from behind the curtains of a bedroom window. My curiosity piqued, I looked closer and counted no fewer than eight pairs of eyes, all looking at me from three windows with an unsettling combination of fear and longing. On the front porch was a thin man, no older than thirty-five, apparently the head of the household. Several ferocious, malnourished, chained-up dogs protected the furniture strewn about the barren front yard. When I asked Rick’s son what the young father did for a living, he told me the man had no job and was proud of it. But, he added, “they’re mean, so we just try to avoid them.”

其中一些既令人心碎，又是陳詞濫調：破舊的棚屋腐爛，流浪狗乞討食物，舊傢俱散落在草坪上。其中一些更令人不安。在經過一棟兩居室的小房子時，我注意到一雙驚恐的眼睛從臥室窗戶的窗簾後面看著我。我的好奇心被激起了，我仔細看了看，數了數不下八雙眼睛，都從三扇窗戶看著我，帶著一種令人不安的恐懼和渴望。前廊上坐著一個瘦弱的男人，年齡不超過三十五歲，顯然是一家之主。幾隻兇猛、營養不良、被拴著鏈子的狗保護著散落在貧瘠的前院的傢俱。當我問瑞克的兒子這位年輕的父親靠什麼謀生時，他告訴我這個人沒有工作，併為此感到自豪。但是，他補充說，「他們很卑鄙，所以我們只是盡量避免他們。

That house might be extreme, but it represents much about the lives of hill people in Jackson. Nearly a third of the town lives in poverty, a figure that includes about half of Jackson’s children. And that doesn’t count the large majority of Jacksonians who hover around the poverty line. An epidemic of prescription drug addiction has taken root. The public schools are so bad that the state of Kentucky recently seized control. Nevertheless, parents send their children to these schools because they have little extra money, and the high school fails to send its students to college with alarming consistency. The people are physically unhealthy, and without government assistance they lack treatment for the most basic problems. Most important, they’re mean about it—they will hesitate to open their lives up to others for the simple reason that they don’t wish to be judged.

那所房子可能很極端，但它代表了傑克遜山民的生活。該鎮近三分之一的人生活在貧困中，這個數位包括傑克遜大約一半的孩子。這還不包括徘徊在貧困線附近的絕大多數傑克遜人。處方藥成癮的流行已經紮根。公立學校非常糟糕，以至於肯塔基州最近奪取了控制權。然而，父母把孩子送到這些學校是因為他們幾乎沒有多餘的錢，而高中未能以驚人的一致性將學生送入大學。人們的身體不健康，沒有政府的援助，他們無法治療最基本的問題。最重要的是，他們對此很刻薄——他們會猶豫是否向他人敞開心扉，原因很簡單，他們不想被評判。

In 2009, ABC News ran a news report about Appalachian America, highlighting a phenomenon known locally as “Mountain Dew mouth”: painful dental problems in young children, generally caused by too much sugary soda. In its broadcast, ABC featured a litany of stories about Appalachian children confronting poverty and deprivation. The news report was widely watched in the region but met with utter scorn. The consistent reaction: This is none of your damn business. “This has to be the most offensive thing I have ever heard and you should all be ashamed, ABC included,” wrote one commenter online. Another added: “You should be ashamed of yourself for reinforcing old, false stereotypes and not giving a more accurate picture of Appalachia. This is an opinion shared among many in the actual rural towns of the mountains that I have met.”

2009年，美國廣播公司新聞（ABC News）刊登了一篇關於阿巴拉契亞美洲的新聞報導，強調了一種在當地被稱為“山露嘴”的現象：幼兒的牙齒問題疼痛，通常是由過多的含糖蘇打水引起的。在廣播中，美國廣播公司（ABC）播放了一連串關於阿巴拉契亞兒童面臨貧困和匱乏的故事。這則新聞報導在該地區受到廣泛關注，但遭到了徹底的蔑視。一致的反應是：這不關你的事。“這一定是我聽過的最令人反感的事情，你們都應該感到羞恥，包括ABC，”一位評論者在網上寫道。另一位補充說：「你應該為自己強化舊的、錯誤的刻板印象而感到羞恥，而不是更準確地描述阿巴拉契亞。這是我遇到的山區農村城鎮中的許多人所認同的觀點。

I knew this because my cousin took to Facebook to silence the critics—noting that only by admitting the region’s problems could people hope to change them. Amber is uniquely positioned to comment on the problems of Appalachia: Unlike me, she spent her entire childhood in Jackson. She was an academic star in high school and later earned a college degree, the first in her nuclear family to do so. She saw the worst of Jackson’s poverty firsthand and overcame it.

我之所以知道這一點，是因為我的表弟在Facebook上讓批評者閉嘴——他指出，只有承認該地區的問題，人們才有希望改變它們。艾梅柏在評論阿巴拉契亞問題方面具有獨特的優勢：與我不同，她的整個童年都是在傑克遜度過的。她在高中時是學術明星，後來獲得了大學學位，這是她核心家庭中第一個這樣做的人。她親眼目睹了傑克遜最糟糕的貧困，並克服了它。

The angry reaction supports the academic literature on Appalachian Americans. In a December 2000 paper, sociologists Carol A. Markstrom, Sheila K. Marshall, and Robin J. Tryon found that avoidance and wishful-thinking forms of coping “significantly predicted resiliency” among Appalachian teens. Their paper suggests that hillbillies learn from an early age to deal with uncomfortable truths by avoiding them, or by pretending better truths exist. This tendency might make for psychological resilience, but it also makes it hard for Appalachians to look at themselves honestly.

憤怒的反應支持了關於阿巴拉契亞裔美國人的學術文獻。在2000年12月的一篇論文中，社會學家卡羅爾·A·馬克斯特羅姆（Carol A. Markstrom）、希拉·K·馬歇爾（Sheila K. Marshall）和羅賓·J·特賴恩（Robin J. Tryon）發現，逃避和一廂情願的應對方式“顯著地預測了阿巴拉契亞青少年的復原力”。他們的論文表明，鄉巴佬從小就學會了通過迴避或假裝存在更好的真相來處理令人不安的真相。這種傾向可能會使心理恢復力強，但也使阿巴拉契亞人難以誠實地看待自己。

We tend to overstate and to understate, to glorify the good and ignore the bad in ourselves. This is why the folks of Appalachia reacted strongly to an honest look at some of its most impoverished people. It’s why I worshipped the Blanton men, and it’s why I spent the first eighteen years of my life pretending that everything in the world was a problem except me.

我們傾向於誇大和低估，頌揚好的一面，忽視自己身上的壞處。這就是為什麼阿巴拉契亞的人民對誠實地看待一些最貧困的人反應強烈的原因。這就是為什麼我崇拜布蘭頓的男人，這就是為什麼我在生命的前十八年裡假裝世界上除了我之外的一切都是問題。

The truth is hard, and the hardest truths for hill people are the ones they must tell about themselves. Jackson is undoubtedly full of the nicest people in the world; it is also full of drug addicts and at least one man who can find the time to make eight children but can’t find the time to support them. It is unquestionably beautiful, but its beauty is obscured by the environmental waste and loose trash that scatters the countryside. Its people are hardworking, except of course for the many food stamp recipients who show little interest in honest work. Jackson, like the Blanton men, is full of contradictions.

真相是艱難的，而對於山民來說，最難的真相是他們必須講述自己的真相。傑克遜無疑充滿了世界上最好的人;這裡也到處都是吸毒者，至少有一個男人可以抽出時間生八個孩子，卻找不到時間養活他們。它無疑是美麗的，但它的美麗被散落在鄉村的環境垃圾和鬆散的垃圾所掩蓋。它的人民很勤奮，當然除了許多對誠實工作興趣不大的食品券領取者。傑克遜和布蘭頓的男人一樣，充滿了矛盾。

Things have gotten so bad that last summer, after my cousin Mike buried his mother, his thoughts turned immediately to selling her house. “I can’t live here, and I can’t leave it untended,” he said. “The drug addicts will ransack it.” Jackson has always been poor, but it was never a place where a man feared leaving his mother’s home alone. The place I call home has taken a worrisome turn.

事情變得如此糟糕，以至於去年夏天，我的表弟邁克埋葬了他的母親后，他立即想到賣掉她的房子。“我不能住在這裡，我不能讓它無人照料，”他說。“吸毒者會洗劫一空。”傑克遜一直很窮，但這裡從來不是一個男人害怕獨自離開母親家的地方。我稱之為家的地方發生了令人擔憂的轉變。

If there is any temptation to judge these problems as the narrow concern of backwoods hollers, a glimpse at my own life reveals that Jackson’s plight has gone mainstream. Thanks to the massive migration from the poorer regions of Appalachia to places like Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Pennsylvania, and Illinois, hillbilly values spread widely along with hillbilly people. Indeed, Kentucky transplants and their children are so prominent in Middletown, Ohio (where I grew up), that as kids we derisively called it “Middletucky.”

如果說有什麼誘惑把這些問題看作是窮鄉僻壤的狹隘關注，那麼只要看一看我自己的生活，就會發現傑克遜的困境已經成為主流。由於從阿巴拉契亞較貧窮的地區大規模遷移到俄亥俄州、密歇根州、印第安那州、賓夕法尼亞州和伊利諾伊州等地，鄉巴佬的價值觀與鄉巴佬一起廣泛傳播。事實上，肯塔基州的移植和他們的孩子在俄亥俄州的米德爾敦（我長大的地方）非常突出，以至於小時候我們嘲笑地稱它為「米德爾塔基」。。

My grandparents uprooted themselves from the real Kentucky and relocated to Middletucky in search of a better life, and in some ways they found it. In other ways, they never really escaped. The drug addiction that plagues Jackson has afflicted their older daughter for her entire adult life. Mountain Dew mouth may be especially bad in Jackson, but my grandparents fought it in Middletown, too: I was nine months old the first time Mamaw saw my mother put Pepsi in my bottle. Virtuous fathers are in short supply in Jackson, but they are equally scarce in the lives of my grandparents’ grandchildren. People have struggled to get out of Jackson for decades; now they struggle to escape Middletown.

我的祖父母從真正的肯塔基州背井離鄉，搬到米德爾塔基尋找更好的生活，在某些方面他們找到了它。在其他方面，他們從未真正逃脫過。困擾傑克遜的毒癮折磨了他們的大女兒的整個成年生活。在傑克遜，Mountain Dew 的嘴巴可能特別糟糕，但我的祖父母在米德爾敦也與之抗爭：媽媽第一次看到我媽媽把百事可樂放進我的瓶子裡時，我才九個月大。在傑克遜，賢慧的父親是稀缺的，但在我祖父母的孫子孫女的生活中，他們同樣稀缺。幾十年來，人們一直在努力擺脫傑克遜;現在他們掙扎著逃離米德爾敦。

If the problems start in Jackson, it is not entirely clear where they end. What I realized many years ago, watching that funeral procession with Mamaw, is that I am a hill person. So is much of America’s white working class. And we hill people aren’t doing very well.

如果問題始於傑克遜，那麼它們在哪裡結束並不完全清楚。許多年前，我和媽媽一起觀看葬禮隊伍時意識到，我是一個山地人。美國的大部分白人工人階級也是如此。我們山民過得不是很好。