Perfect Phrases for ESL Conversation Skills: for Intermediate students
Perfect Phrases for ESL Conversation Skills
CHAPTER |
|
Serious Subjects
Objectives
to discuss complaints, demands, mistakes, causes, and consequences
to apologize and make amends
to express certainty and possibility
Having grown up in Rio de Janeiro, Gabriela is used to making contact with tourists from all over the world. To help finance her studies in hotel and tourism management, she worked in local restaurants and resort hotels where she put her school English to good use.
Gabriela’s dream is to start up her own boutique hotel, but first she needs to acquire more experience in her chosen field and, of course, to bring her English skills up to a professional level. Already on her first day at the front desk of an international hotel, Gabriela was faced with a variety of complaints and requests from a party of foreign wedding guests. She knew enough to stay calm, cool, and collected, but she found thinking on her feet in another language stressful. In those moments when she had to pacify demanding guests, the right expressions failed her. Gabriela came away not wanting the same thing to happen to her again.
In Chapters 7 and 8 you learned how to conduct stimulating discussions based on an exchange of opinions. Unfortunately, not all discussions can be pleasant or entertaining, and not all problems can be solved through advice or sympathy, as you learned in Chapter 5. At times you will find yourself in situations that involve broader implications and that require sensitivity and tact to resolve.
Phrases
Openers: Common Concerns
I don’t know why they don’t do something about the traffic congestion in the city.
They / somebody should do something about the cost of living.
I wish somebody would do something about homelessness.
The waste of energy is intolerable / unacceptable.
Gang violence is really getting to be a problem / hassle / pain.
It’s about time / high time they built a new bridge.
Don’t you just hate it when food prices keep going up for no reason?
The lack of affordable housing in this city is my pet peeve.
Who is “they”? In English “they” can refer to government or any indefinite authority that we expect to solve a problem affecting the general population.
Offering Solutions to General Problems
Levels of Language
Levels of Language When you have to broach a difficult subject, you can end up in a war of words, or you can try through tact and courtesy to resolve the problem to the satisfaction of all parties involved. The former ends with somebody being the loser; the latter can result in a win-win situation.
How you go about discussing delicate and serious subjects is determined first by your personal style of interacting with others, and second by the culture in which you were raised. Whereas directness is appreciated in some cultures, in others politeness and saving face are valued more. In any case, the level of language you employ plays an important role in getting your message across.
Direct vs. Indirect Language
In English choice of words is important, partly because of the absence of a familiar and unfamiliar second person pronoun. You is you, regardless of a person’s age, position, or authority, and of number. To show distance or respect in the English language, you can use indirect, rather than direct, language. The following examples show how to ask someone to put out his or her cigarette.
Using direct or indirect language can make a difference in situations where you have to negotiate an outcome. Look at some of the ways you can turn direct into indirect language:
Direct |
Indirect |
I want to have … |
I would like to have … |
I don’t want to. |
I’d really rather not / I’d prefer not to. |
I don’t like that. |
I’d really prefer something else. |
I don’t know. |
I’m not quite sure / I’ll have to check on that. |
You must / have to leave. |
I suggest / recommend that you not stay much longer. |
Don’t use your cell phone. |
I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from using your cell phone. |
Stop talking! |
Would you mind not talking? |
I can’t. |
I’m afraid it’s not possible. |
We have no choice. |
We are forced under the circumstances to … |
No! |
Let me think about this. |
That’s bad. |
That’s not particularly good. |
We can also temper meaning by adding the following words as adjectives or adverbs:
a little, a little more / less
somewhat / rather
perhaps / maybe
It might / may be
particularly / terribly / really / all that much
Examples:
I find the situation somewhat / rather annoying.
Perhaps / maybe you could make a few changes to the schedule.
We’d appreciate if you’d be a little more accommodating.
I don’t really care for this seating arrangement.
Saying “No” Nicely
A negative answer can be the simplest and perhaps the most honest one, but there are times when it may be necessary to word a refusal in milder language.
I’d like to join you, but I really have to be somewhere else in a few minutes.
Sorry, but I don’t think I can find what you’re looking for.
I’m afraid I can’t take your call at this moment.
I’d really rather not go into the details if you don’t mind.
Thanks, but a substitute is not what I had in mind.
Being Positive
In unpleasant and stressful situations you can easily see only the negative side of things. Although optimism in such circumstances can appear inappropriate, a talent for maintaining a positive attitude can relieve stress and relax tension.
I’m sure / convinced / positive that your insurance will cover the damage.
On the bright side / on a positive note …
Looking at the positive side …
Optimistically speaking …
To be optimistic / positive …
Irony, Sarcasm, and Euphemism
Depending on the tone of voice, however, indirect language can be turned into direct language. What may sound “nice” may convey quite the opposite. English speakers often use irony, sarcasm, tongue-in-cheek, and euphemisms that non-native English speakers may find difficult to interpret. Take a look at the following examples:
Irony (using words that mean the opposite with the intention of being witty or funny)
Examples:
(after three days of solid rain) Don’t you just love the rain?
(about unclear directions) These directions are as clear as mud.
Sarcasm (using sharp words that mean the opposite with the intention of mocking, insulting, or wounding)
Examples:
(to a slow waiter) You really didn’t have to be in such a hurry!
(to someone who hasn’t called you in a long time) I was wondering if maybe you’d had your phone disconnected. You never seem to use it.
Tongue-in-cheek (saying something that one doesn’t mean seriously, and indicating so with a facial expression such as a wink)
Examples:
(to someone who has a hangover) My, you look fresh and bouncy this morning!
(pretending innocence) I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Euphemism (using mild words for something unpleasant or offensive)
Examples:
We had a minor disagreement (instead of big fight).
Car thief to policeman: “But I was only borrowing it” (instead of stealing).
Humor in English-language cultures, particularly what is known as “black” or “gallows” humor, is based on sarcasm and irony, and sitcoms and comedy routines are full of examples. Non-native speakers will wonder what’s so funny, especially when a native English speaker appears to be very serious and says something ironic, sarcastic, or euphemistic with a straight face. As a non-native speaker, you will not be expected to use language like a native speaker, but you should be aware of the signals. The more positive or pleasant a remark sounds, often the more negative the meaning.
Common Rejoinders Used Ironically or Sarcastically
Oh really?
How about that!
You don’t say!
I would never have guessed!
Well, I’ll be!
Isn’t that nice / lovely / just wonderful!
How kind / sweet / considerate / thoughtful / interesting!
I’ve never been so happy / glad / pleased in all my life.
Thank you very much!
Complaints and Demands
In addition to discussing personal problems, as you learned in Chapter 5, you will find yourself having to deal with problems that involve other people. Perhaps you’re dissatisfied with the service you received in a store, or someone made a mistake that negatively affects you. Complaints and demands require a degree of tact and determination when you want to get your point across.
Making a Complaint
I wish to express my dissatisfaction / disappointment with / concern about the charges on my last statement.
I want / wish to complain about / to object to the noise in the building.
I’d like to file / to lodge a complaint against my landlord.
There seems to be a problem with / mistake on my invoice.
I have a complaint / beef about / an issue with the repairs that were done to my car.
I’m upset / unhappy / dissatisfied / displeased / annoyed with my order.
I’m having a problem with my cable service.
My prescription is not okay / in order / how it should be.
Somebody messed up on my points card.
Asking for Details
What exactly / specifically seems to be the matter / the problem?
What is the exact nature of your complaint?
Can you give me a detailed account of the event?
Can you provide us with details / specifics?
What’s all the fuss?
Responding to a Complaint
I’ll see what I can do about it.
We’ll take care of / see to it right away.
We’re here to help you.
I’m sure we can work this out / get to the bottom of this.
Showing Understanding or Agreement
Also refer to Chapter 5 for phrases to show sympathy and understanding, and Chapter 7 for agreeing with an opinion.
Misinformation
I was led / made to believe that the service was included in the price.
I was under the impression that I would receive air miles.
I thought / understood that there were no interest charges on the balance.
I was told / informed that an agent would take care of the matter.
They / someone told me that there were no extra service fees.
Stating a Request
Making Demands
Being Firm
That’s out of the question.
I’m not budging / moving / giving an inch.
I’m sticking to my guns.
I insist on my rights.
He’s playing hardball.
You drive a hard bargain.
Rules and Conditions
When you enter into agreements or arrangements with other people, it is necessary to state the rules and conditions in specific and detailed language so that everyone knows what is expected of him or her.
Conditions
If you sign a three-year contract, you will get a cell phone for free.
Unless you sign a three-year contract, you will have to pay extra for the cell phone.
You will get a free cell phone provided / on the condition that / given that you sign a three-year contract.
As long as you sign a three-year contract, you will get a cell phone for free.
Subject to / depending on the contract, you either will get a cell phone for free or have to pay extra for it.
The cost of the cell phone depends on / is contingent upon the length of the contract.
The terms of the contract state that you must sign a three-year contract in order to get a free cell phone.
Rules and Regulations
Parking is not permitted / allowed on this street.
Smoking is prohibited / forbidden / banned on airplanes.
According to the rules / law you may not use handheld devices while driving.
The rules state / say that you may not / you are not allowed to use a handheld device while driving.
Use of the pool and whirlpool will be limited to the hours between 10:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
All guests and residents will be liable for any damage to the property.
No returns on sale items.
Importance
It is important / necessary / essential to read the terms of the agreement carefully.
Especially / particularly / importantly / firstly you should read the terms of the agreement carefully.
First and foremost / above all / in particular you should read the contract carefully.
Whatever you do, read the contract carefully.
This inquiry has high priority.
Bad News and Good News
According to a popular saying, no news is good news. Delivering good news can be a pleasant task, whereas breaking bad news is difficult, especially when you risk having to disappoint or anger another person. In both cases, you can use a variety of phrases that will fit the situation.
Bad News
I regret to say / to inform you that there has been an accident.
I hate to break this to you, but …
I’m sorry / afraid to have to say that …
I’m not sure / don’t know how to tell you this, but …
It gives me no pleasure at all to tell you that …
I wish I had another way to break this to you but …
Unfortunately / regrettably / apparently …
It seems / appears that …
For some reason / some odd reason …
You may not want to hear this, but …
Avoiding an Unpleasant Subject
Do you think you could change the subject?
Can’t we talk about / discuss this some other time?
Do I have to hear / listen to this?
I’m really not interested.
That’s not what I need to hear right now.
Spare me the details.
Keep it to yourself!
Changing the Subject
If you don’t mind, I’d like to change the subject / topic.
It would be nice if we changed the subject / topic.
Could / can we change the subject?
Can’t we talk about something else?
Haven’t we discussed / talk about this enough already?
How about switching to another subject / topic / something more pleasant?
Good News
Fortunately / luckily no one was hurt and nothing valuable was lost in the fire.
As luck would have it
On the good / positive / bright side …
Lucky for you …
It turned out that …
Today’s your lucky day!
Causes and Consequences
The expected result or consequence of a particular action is an important factor in any in-depth discussion. Before you can arrive at an acceptable solution, you will also want to investigate the cause of the problem.
Cause and Effect
Mail delivery will be disrupted because / since / as there is a postal strike.
Mail delivery will be disrupted because of / due to / as a result of / on account of the postal strike.
There’s a postal strike; therefore / as a result / consequently mail delivery will be disrupted.
Due to the fact that there’s a postal strike, mail delivery will be disrupted.
As long as there’s a postal strike, mail delivery will be disrupted.
Results and Consequences
The postal strike can cause / lead to / result in / be responsible for a disruption in mail delivery.
The disruption in mail delivery is attributed to / could happen because of / is a direct result of the postal strike.
The postal strike could lead to / result in / contribute to a disruption in mail delivery.
As a result of / the consequence of / due to the postal strike, mail delivery will be disrupted.
The result / consequence / outcome of the mail strike will be a disruption in mail delivery.
There’s a postal strike; hence, a disruption in mail delivery will occur.
If nothing is done about the postal strike, there will be a disruption in mail delivery.
The mail strike will end up in a disruption of mail delivery.
Worst-case scenario would be a disruption in mail delivery.
Effects
Social-networking affects / impacts / influences communication.
Social-networking has an effect / impact / influence on communication.
Social-networking has made / makes a difference to communication.
To express the degree of effect one thing has on another, you can add the following adjectives (and adverbs):
Positive |
Negative |
major / significant |
minor |
serious / grave |
slight / minimal |
permanent / lasting |
temporary |
Certainty and Possibility
Nobody can see the future. Nevertheless, before you make a decision or reach an agreement, you will need to predict the outcome or at least consider the possibilities.
Certainty
|
Our candidate will / won’t win the election. |
|
Our candidate can’t / couldn’t lose the election. |
|
Our candidate must / has to win the election. |
Our candidate can win the election. |
|
|
Our candidate should / ought / is bound / is likely to win the election. |
Chances are / there’s a (good) chance our candidate will win the election. |
|
|
Our candidate could win the election. |
Our candidate may / might win the election. |
100 percent
99 percent
95 percent
75 to 90 percent
Less than 50 percent
Making Deductions About Recent Results
|
The CPI (consumer price index) has increased. |
The CPI couldn’t have decreased. |
|
|
The CPI has to have / must have increased. |
|
The CPI could have increased. |
|
The CPI might / may have increased. |
100 percent
95 percent
75 percent
50 percent
Possibility
It is possible / feasible / plausible to build a city on the moon.
Someone can / could build a city on the moon.
There are ways to build a city on the moon.
Building a city on the moon is doable / viable.
It wouldn’t surprise me if someone built a city on the moon.
Impossibility
It is impossible / unfeasible / implausible / unrealistic / not viable to build a city on the moon.
There’s no way / no possible way that people could build a city on the moon.
A city on the moon couldn’t / won’t happen in a million years.
Building a city on the moon is ridiculous / ludicrous / a stretch / a pipe dream / an illusion / out of this world.
To increase the degree of certainty/uncertainty or possibility/ impossibility you can use the following adverbs:
|
certainly, definitely, absolutely, unquestionably, undoubtedly |
|
probably, most likely, likely, surely, highly, in all likelihood |
|
perhaps, maybe, possibly, conceivably, for all one knows |
100 percent
80–90 percent
less than 50 percentExamples:
There will definitely be some big changes coming.
The government will probably cut social programs to save money.
For all one knows we could run out of oil sooner than we think.
Apologies and Agreements
A simple apology can be the best way to heal hurt feelings and make amends for mistakes and misunderstandings. Sorry may be a small word, but saying you’re sorry can go a long way.
Making Apologies
Demanding an Apology
Your actions call for an apology.
I expect / demand / insist on a full / complete apology.
I think I’m entitled to an apology.
Any considerate person would apologize.
I won’t accept anything but a full apology.
Expressing Regrets
I shouldn’t have been so careless / I should have been more careful.
I wish I hadn’t been so careless / I had been more careful.
I regret my carelessness / having been careless / that I was careless.
Regretfully I was careless.
My carelessness was regrettable.
I’m sorry about my carelessness.
Accepting an Apology
Refusing an Apology
An apology’s a nice gesture, but I need more than that.
I expect more than a mere apology.
I’m sorry but it’s not enough.
An apology / nice words won’t do it.
That’s just an easy way out.
Offering an Excuse
I'd really like to help you out, but I’m not in a position to do anything about it.
I’m sorry, but it’s not up to me / my responsibility / my department.
I wish I could, but it’s not in my power.
I didn’t have anything to do with it.
You’ll have to ask someone else.
There’s really nothing I can do.
You’ve got the wrong person / department.
My hands are tied.
Recognizing an Error or Accident
Making Amends
Settling Differences
How about if we settle our differences / the score?
I hope there are no bad / ill feelings.
I’m sure we can iron this out.
Let’s bury the hatchet.
Let bygones be bygones.
Making Compromises
We need some give and take on this.
Can we meet in the middle / halfway?
Let’s split the difference.
We can work something out.
It’s a win-win situation.
Coming to Agreement
Let’s shake on it / sign on the dotted line.
You’ve got a deal.
You have my word.
We’re good to go / all set.
We can give it the go-ahead / green light.
It’s a deal!
Agreed!
Dialogue: A Hard Bargain
Underline or highlight the phrases from the chapter.
Landlord: Now, what’s the nature of your complaint?
Tenant A: For three months now we’ve been putting up with constant noise due to repair work on the building exterior.
Landlord: I understand that some repair work was to be done on the façade and balconies, and it will certainly improve the overall appearance of the building.
Tenant A: But there’s been constant banging and jackhammering for three months now.
Tenant B: And because of the extreme noise, we are frequently forced to leave the building.
Landlord: That’s unfortunate, but the good news is it won’t last forever.
Tenant A: Regardless we’d like to know why we were never informed before we signed our lease. If you’ll remember, we clearly stated from the outset that we both work from home.
Tenant B: Under the present circumstances, the noise level could potentially impact our livelihood.
Landlord: I do apologize for the inconvenience, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
Tenant A: When we agreed to rent the condo, we were led to believe that we were moving into a quiet building.
Landlord: Under normal circumstances, it is a quiet building. Perhaps you should contact the management company who is overseeing the repair work.
Tenant B: But we signed the lease with you, not them.
Landlord: Well, if you want to move out, you are free to do so.
Tenant A: And pay a penalty for breaking the lease?
Landlord: Those are the terms of the lease agreement, yes.
Tenant B: Considering that we’re not at fault in all of this, I don’t think that’s fair at all!
Landlord: So what is it exactly that you want from me?
Tenant A: Legally we are entitled to compensation for loss of peaceful enjoyment.
Landlord: Well, for your information these repairs are costing me thousands of dollars, and although I’m legally entitled to raise the rent every year, I did not do so.
Tenant A: We could go to arbitration, but we’d prefer to settle with you.
Landlord: I appreciate the gesture, but it puts me on the spot. I suppose I could offer you a 10 percent reduction from now until you move out.
Tenant B: Actually I was thinking of a 30 percent rent reduction retroactively.
Landlord: I’m sorry, but that’s out of the question.
Tenant A: Like we said, we could go to arbitration.
Landlord: Okay, here’s the deal: I’ll split the difference, but on the condition that I require one full month’s notice.
Tenant A: That’s understood. (To Tenant B) I’m okay with that if you are.
Tenant B: Well, it’s not exactly win-win, but I guess it’s better than nothing.
Topics for Practice
Change the following into indirect language:
1. I don’t like that.
2. The service in here is terrible.
3. You made a mistake.
4. I don’t understand you.
5. It’s all your fault!
6. What a stupid idea!
7. I can’t help you.
8. That’s ridiculous.
9. I don’t know!
10. What do you mean?
How would you complain about:
1. a mistake on your phone bill;
2. a package that you received by mistake;
3. having to wait a long time to get an appointment;
4. a bad mark on an unfair test paper;
5. poor service in a restaurant;
6. a heating system in your office or home that doesn’t work properly;
7. having been overcharged for a car repair;
8. lost luggage at the airport;
9. rush hour traffic in your city;
10. ongoing construction noise in your office or apartment building?
*
The verb to insist is another of the few, like to recommend and to suggest, that take the subjunctive. See Chapter 5.