# ■ 19

It was evening in the parson's house at Emminster．Mr and Mrs Clare were waiting anxiously for Angel's return．

‘He won't be here yet，my dear，’said old Mr Clare，as his wife went to the front door for the tenth time．‘Remember his train doesn't come in till six o'clock，and then he has to ride ten miles on our old horse．’

‘But he used to do it in an hour，’said his wife impatiently．Both knew it was useless to talk about it，and the only thing to do was wait．

When they heard footsteps they rushed outside to meet the shape in the darkness．

‘Oh my boy，my boy，home at last！’cried Mrs Clare，who at that moment cared no more for Angel's lack of religion than for the dust on his clothes．What woman，in fact，however firm her beliefs，would not sacrifice her religion for her children？Nothing was more important to Mrs Clare than Angel's happiness．

But as soon as they reached the living room，she saw his face clearly in the light of the candles．She gave a cry and turned away in sorrow．‘Oh，it's not the Angel who went away！’

Even his father was shocked to see the change in his son．They would not have recognized him if they had passed him in the street．The cruel climate and hard work had aged him by twenty years．He was like a shadow，thin and bony，with no spring in his step and no enthusiasm in his eyes．

‘I was ill over there，’he said，noticing his parents concern．He had to sit down，being weak after his journey．

‘Has any letter come for me？’he asked eagerly．‘The last one…’

‘From your wife？’

‘Yes．I didn't get it until very recently，as I was travelling．If I had received it earlier，I would have come sooner．’

They gave him a letter that had been waiting for his arrival．Angel read it rapidly．It was Tess's last letter，short and desperate：

Oh why have you treated me so badly，Angel？I do not deserve it．You are cruel！ I intend to forget you．You have been so unfair to me！

T

‘It is all quite true！’cried Angel hopelessly，throwing down the letter．‘Perhaps she will never take me back！’

‘Angel，don't worry so much about a country girl，’said his mother，anxious about her son's state of mind．

‘You know，I've never told you，but she is actually a descendant of one of the oldest，noblest families in England，a d'Urberville in fact．And do you know why I left her？How could I be so narrow－minded！I left her because I discovered she was not the pure country girl I thought．She had been seduced by a so－called gentleman．But it wasn't her fault．And I Know now that her whole character is honest and faithful．I must get her back！’

After this outburst Angel went to bed early and thought about the situation．In Brazil it had seemed easy to rush straight back into Tess's loving arms whenever he chose to forgive her．However，now he knew she was angry with him for leaving her for so long．He admitted she was right to be angry．So he decided to give her time to think about their relationship，and wrote to her，at Marlott，instead of going to see her．To his surprise he received in reply a note from her mother．

Dear Sir，

My daughter is not with me at the moment and I don't know when she'll come back．I will let you know when she does．I cannot tell you where she is staying．We don't live in Marlott any more．

Yours

J．Durbeyfield

At first Clare decided to wait for further information from Tess's mother，but then he re－read the letter sent on to him in Brazil，written from Flintcomb－Ash：I live only for you．Don't think I shall be bitter because you left me．I am so lonely without you，my darling！

Haven't you ever felt one little bit of your love for me at the dairy？I am the same woman you fell in love with then，the very same．As soon as I met you，the past was dead for me…

He was so touched he felt he must go immediately to find her，however angry she and her family might be with him．While he was packing，the letter from Izz and Marian arrived，and made him hurry even more．

His search for Tess took him first to Flintcomb－Ash，where he discovered she had never used her married name．He began to realize，too，what hardship she had suffered rather than ask his family for money．Next he travelled to Marlott，but found the Durbeyfield cottage occupied by others．As he left the village he passed the field where he had first seen Tess at the dance．He could not bear to see it，because Tess was not there．In the churchyard he saw a new headstone，on which was written：

In memory of John Durbeyfield，rightly d'Urberville，of the once powerful family of that name，and direct descendant of Sir Pagan d'Urberville．Died March 10th，18－

A gravedigger noticed Clare looking at it，and called to him，‘Ah sir，that man didn't want to be buried here，but in his ancestors'tombs at Kingsbere．’

‘So why wasn't he buried there？’

‘No money．In fact，sir，even this headstone has not been paid for．’

Clare went immediately to pay the bill for the stone，and set out towards Shaston，where he found Mrs Durbeyfield and her children living in a small house．She seemed embarrassed to see him．

‘I'm Tess's husband，’he said awkwardly．‘I want to see her at once．You were going to write and tell me where she is．Is she well？’

‘I don't know，sir，but you ought to．’

‘You're right．I ought to know that about my own wife．Where is she？’

Mrs Durbeyfield would not reply．

‘Do you think Tess would want me to try and find her？’

‘I don't think she would．’

He was turning away，and then he thought of Tess's letter：If you would come，I could die in your arms！I live only for you…I am so lonely without you，my darling！He turned back．

‘I'm sure she would！’he said passionately．‘I know her better than you do！’

‘I expect you do，sir，for I have never really known her．’

‘Please，Mrs Durbeyfield，please tell me where she is！Please be kind to a miserable lonely man！’

There was a pause after this cry from the heart．Finally Tess's mother replied in a low voice，‘She is at Sandbourne．’

‘Thank you，’he said，relieved．‘Do you need anything？’

‘No，thank you，sir，’said Joan Durbeyfield．‘We are well provided for．’

Clare took the train to Sandbourne．On his arrival at eleven o'clock in the evening he took a room in a hotel，and walked around the streets，in the hope of meeting Tess．But it was too late to ask anybody．

It seemed a strange place to Clare．It was a bright，fashionable holiday town，with parks，flowerbeds and amusements．This new town，a product of modern civilization，had grown up near the ancient Egdon Woods，where the paths over the hills had not changed for a thousand years．

He walked up and down the wide streets，trying to admire the modern buildings．He felt confused．The sea murmured，and he thought it was the trees．The trees murmured，and he thought it was the sea．He could not understand what had brought Tess here．This was a town for relaxation，for pleasure，not for a working girl like Tess．There were no cows to milk here，and no vegetables to dig．He looked at the lights in the bedroom windows，and wondered which one was hers．

Before going to bed he re－read Tess's passionate letter．He could not sleep that night．At the post office next morning they knew nothing of the names of Clare or Durbeyfield．

‘But there is the name of d'Urberville at Mrs Brooks'，’said the postman．

‘That's it！’cried Clare，pleased to think she had taken her ancestors’name，as he had suggested．

He made his way quickly to Mrs Brooks' house，following the postman's directions．It was a large，impressive house，and he wondered if he should go to the back door，as Tess was probably a servant here．But he rang at the front．Mrs Brooks herself appeared．

‘Is Teresa d'Urberville here？’he asked．

‘Mrs d'Urberville？’

‘Yes．’He felt pleased that she was known there as a married woman．‘Please tell her that a relation wants to see her．Say it's Angel．’

‘Mr Angel？’

‘No，just Angel．She'll know．’

Angel waited in the sitting room，his heart beating painfully．

‘Whatever will she think of me？’he thought．‘I look so different，so much older！’He was still weak after his illness．He could hardly stand，and held on to the back of a chair，as she entered the room．

He was not prepared for what he saw．Tess was wearing fashionable clothes，and looked even more beautiful than he remembered．He had held out his arms，but they fell to his side，because she stood still in the doorway．He thought she could not bear his changed appearance．

‘Tess！’he whispered．His voice was low and breaking with emotion．‘Can you forgive me for going away？Can't you…come to me？Why are you… so beautiful？’

‘It is too late，’she said，her voice hard and her eyes shining unnaturally．

‘I didn't see you as you really were！Please forgive me，Tessy！’he begged． ‘Too late，too late！’she said，waving her hand impatiently．

‘Don't come close，Angel！Keep away！’

‘But is it that you don't love me，my dear wife，because I've been ill？I've come to find you．My parents will welcome you！I've told them everything！’

‘Yes，yes！But it is too late．’Every moment seemed like an hour to her．She felt as if she was in a dream，trying to escape，but unable to．‘Don't you know what has happened？I waited and waited for you．But you didn't come！And I wrote to you，and you didn't come！He kept on saying you would never come back again，and he was very kind to my family after father's death．He…’

‘I don't understand．’

‘He has won me back to him．’

Clare stared at her．He saw her fashionable clothes．He saw her relaxed，well－fed body．He saw her white，delicate hands．At last he understood，and fell into a chair，as if hit on the head．

She continued，‘He is upstairs．I hate him now，because he told me a lie，that you would never return，and you have returned！Will you go away now，Angel，please，and never come back？’

They looked at each other without joy and without hope，desperately wanting to be sheltered from reality．

‘It's my fault！said Clare．But talking did not help．The Tess he had first loved had separated her body from her soul．Her soul remained and would remain faithful to him for ever．But what happened to her body no longer interested her after he had rejected it．

After a few moments of confused reflection，he realized Tess had left the room．His mind was in a fog．He felt very cold and very ill．Somehow he found himself in the street，walking，although he did not know where．

Mrs Brooks was not usually curious about her guests．She was too interested in the money they paid her，to ask many questions．However，Angel Clare's visit to her wealthy guests，Mr and Mrs d'Urberville，as she knew them，was unusual enough to interest her．She could hear parts of the conversation between the two lost souls，and when Tess went back upstairs，Mrs Brooks crept quietly up to listen outside the bedroom door．She heard Tess sobbing，and through the keyhole could see her half lying over the breakfast table．

‘And then my dear husband came home to me…And it's too late！Because you persuaded me，you with your fine words as you did when you seduced me！You told me he would never come back！But he did！And you helped my family—that's how you persuaded me so cleverly．But when I believed you and came to live with you，he came back！And now I've lost him a second time，and this time for ever！He will hate me now！’She turned her tear－stained face and Mrs Brooks could see how she was suffering．‘And he's dying，he looks as if he's dying！It will be my fault if he dies！You have destroyed my life and his！I can't bear it，I can't！’The man spoke sharply，and after that there was silence．

Mrs Brooks went back downstairs to wait until she was called to take their breakfast away．She could hear Tess moving about，and then saw Tess leave the house，fully dressed in her fashionable clothes．Perhaps Mr d'Urberville was still asleep，as he did not like getting up early．Mrs Brooks wondered who this morning's visitor was，and where Mrs d'Urberville had gone so early．

Just then she noticed a mark on the ceiling．It seemed to be spreading．It was red，and when she stood on the table and touched it，it looked like blood．She ran up to listen at the bedroom door again．The dead silence was broken only by a regular drip，drip，drip．She ran wildly out into the street and begged a man she knew to come back with her．Together they hurried upstairs and pushed open the bedroom door．The breakfast lay untouched on the table，but the large knife was missing．They found it in Alec d'Urberville's heart．He lay on the bed，pale，fixed，dead，still bleeding．Soon the news spread all over Sandbourne that Mrs Brooks' guest had been killed by his young wife．

■ The End

■ 結局

■ 19

一天晚上，在愛敏斯特的牧師家，克萊爾先生和夫人正焦急地等待著安吉爾的歸來。

“親愛的，他還到不了，”老克萊爾先生說道。他的妻子已經第十次到前門探望了。“記住他的火車直到六點才能抵達，然後他還得騎著咱們那匹老馬走上十里路呢！”

“可是，以往他在一個小時內就騎到了，”他的妻子焦躁地說道。兩個人都知道談論是沒有用的，唯一能做的就是等待。

他們聽到腳步聲，急忙衝到了門外，迎接那個黑暗中的身影。

“哦，我的孩子，我的孩子，終於到家了！”克萊爾夫人叫道。在這個時候，她關切的僅僅是安吉爾身上的塵土，而不會在乎他缺少宗教信仰。實際上，哪一個女人，不管她的信仰多麼堅定，不會為了她的孩子們犧牲她的信仰？對克萊爾夫人來說，沒有任何東西比安吉爾的幸福更重要。

可是當他們進到了起居室，她在燭光映照下端詳起他的臉龐時，她不禁驚叫了起來，痛苦地轉過頭去，“哦，這不是離開時的安吉爾！”

甚至他的父親在看到兒子的變化時也很震驚。如果他們在街道上經過他身旁，他們會認不出他來的，惡劣的氣候和艱苦的勞動讓他蒼老了二十歲。他瘦骨嶙峋，步伐沉重，目光黯然失神，簡直不成人樣了。

“在那邊我一直生病，”注意到父母的憂慮，他說道。旅程之後，他已很虛弱，不得不坐下來了。

“有我的什麼信件嗎？”他急切地問道，“最近的一封……”

“從你妻子那兒來的？”

“是的，我直到最近，當我在旅行的時候才收到。如果我早點兒收到信的話，我會更快趕回來的。”

他們給了他一封一直等他回來看的信。安吉爾快速地瀏覽了信，這是苔絲最近一封信，寫得簡短、迫切：

啊，安吉爾，你為什麼對我這麼狠哪？這不是我應受的懲罰，你真是殘酷！我要設法忘掉你。你對待我太不公平了！

苔

“說得一點兒不錯！”安吉爾絕望地叫道，信掉到了地上，“也許她永遠不會再接受我了！”

“安吉爾，不要對一個鄉下姑娘過分擔心了，”他母親說道。她對兒子的心理狀態非常憂慮。

“你們知道嗎，我從來沒有告訴過你們，可是她實際上是英國最古老、最高貴的一個家族的後裔，事實上就是德伯。你們知道我為什麼會離開她嗎？我怎麼會這般心胸狹窄！我離開她是因為我發現她並不是我認為的那樣，是個純潔的鄉下姑娘。她曾被一個所謂的紳士先生誘姦過。可是這不是她的過錯。現在我知道了她全部的品質就是誠實和真摯。我必須讓她回到我的身邊！”

這一番傾訴之後，安吉爾早早地上了床，他考慮著現在的情形，他在巴西時以為，無論什麼時候，只要他寬恕了她，他都可以輕而易舉地返回她愛的懷抱。然而，現在他知道因為自己離開她過於長久，她對他憤怒了。他承認她的憤怒是合情合理的。於是，他決定給予她時間來思考他們之間的關係。他沒有去看望她，而是給她寫了封信，寄往馬勒特。意外地，他收到了她母親回覆的一張便條。

敬愛的先生，

我女兒現在沒有和我住在一起。我不知道她什麼時候能回來。若她回來，我會設法讓您得知。我不能告訴您她現在住在哪裡，我們不再住在馬勒特了。

你的

J·德北

起先，克萊爾決定等著從苔絲母親那裡獲得進一步的消息。可是之後他又重讀了那封寫於弗林特庫姆地區、他在巴西時收到的信：

我只是為你才活著，不要以為你離我而去，我會怨恨什麼。親愛的，沒有你，我是多麼孤寂啊！

難道你沒有感覺到過一絲一毫你在牛奶場時對我的愛嗎？我沒變，我還是你以前愛上的那個女人，一點也沒變。當初，我一見到你，過去的事情對我就都消亡了……

他被深深地觸動了，他覺得自己必須立刻去找到她，不管她和她的家人可能會對他有多氣憤。他正收拾東西時，又收到了伊茨和瑪麗安的信，這讓他心情更為迫切了。

他尋找苔絲的第一步是到了弗林特庫姆地區。在那兒，他發現她從來都沒用過她婚後的名字。他同時也意識到，不管她遭受多麼艱難的處境，她都不願向他的家人要錢。接下來他又輾轉到馬勒特，可是他發現德北家的房舍住著別人。當他離開村子時，他經過了他第一次在舞會上見到苔絲的地方。他不忍再看下去，因為苔絲不在那兒了。在教堂墓地，他看到一塊新墓碑，上面寫著：

紀念約翰·德北，恰當地說，是德伯，這個姓氏的家族曾經非常強大，他是培根·德伯先生的直系後裔，死於3月10日，18時。

一個掘墓人注意到克萊爾正盯著墓碑看，便對他喊道：“啊，先生，那個人可不想埋在這兒。他想葬在王陴那邊他祖先們的墳墓裡。”

“那麼，為什麼不把他葬到那兒去？”

“沒有錢呀。實際上，就連這塊墓碑的錢還沒付呢。”

克萊爾馬上掏錢付了墓碑的賬，又動身朝夏斯頓去了。在那兒，他發現德北夫人和她的孩子們住在一間狹小的房子裡。看到他，她顯得有些侷促不安。

“我是苔絲的丈夫，”他窘迫地說道，“我想立刻見到她，您本來是要寫信告訴我她在哪裡的。她還好嗎？”

“我不知道。可是，先生，您應該知道呀。”

“您說得對，我應該知道我自己妻子的情況，她在哪兒？”

德北夫人不願回答。

“您認為苔絲願意讓我努力找到她嗎？”

“我認為她不會。”

他轉身欲走，這時，他想起了苔絲的信：“如果你來，我就可以在你懷裡安息了！我只是為了你才活著……親愛的，沒有你，我是多麼孤寂啊！”他又轉回身來。

“我確信她會的！”他充滿熱情地說道：“我比您更瞭解她！”

“我希望您是對的，先生，因為我從來沒有真正瞭解過她。”

“請您，德北夫人，請您告訴我她在哪兒！請您對一個可憐又孤獨的男人仁慈一點吧！”

他從心裡發出了這聲呼喚，此後，是片刻的沉默。苔絲的母親終於低聲地回答道：“她在桑德伯恩。”

“謝謝您，”他說道，並感到寬慰了些，“有任何需要嗎？”

“不用了，謝謝您，先生。”瓊·德北說，“我們被供養得很好。”

克萊爾搭乘了一班火車趕往桑德伯恩。在晚上11點到達之後，他在旅館裡訂了個房間，之後就到街上四處逛，抱著能碰到苔絲的希望。可是已經太晚了，連個可問的人都沒有。

對於克萊爾，這是個陌生的地方。它是個光鮮、時新的度假城鎮，有公園、花圃和各種娛樂休閒設施。這個新城鎮，作為現代文明的產物，在古老的埃格登森林附近漸漸發展了起來，而那裡山巒上的小徑千年來都不曾改變過。

他在寬闊的街道上走來走去，極力想去欣賞這些現代的建築。他覺得思想很混亂。大海的瀑瀑細語被他聽成是樹木的聲音；而樹葉的沙沙作響又被認作是大海的聲音。他不能理解是什麼把苔絲帶到了這裡。這是一個休閒、消遣的城鎮，不適合像苔絲這樣要幹活兒的姑娘。這兒沒有奶牛可以擠，也沒有蔬菜可以挖。他透過臥室的窗子看著萬家燈火，急於想知道哪一盞是屬於她的。

上床之前，他又讀了苔絲那封熱情洋溢的來信。那一晚，他輾轉難眠。第二天早晨，他來到了郵電局，可是他們不知道有叫克萊爾或德北的人。

“可是在布魯克斯夫人那兒住著個叫德伯的，”郵遞員說道。

“就是它了！”克萊爾叫道，他很高興，認為苔絲採納了他的建議，使用了她祖先的姓氏。

順著郵遞員指引的方向，他急忙奔向布魯克斯夫人的房子。這是一座寬敞、奢華得令人驚歎的房子，他懷疑他是否應該走後門，因為苔絲也許在這兒做用人。可是，他在前門按響了鈴，布魯克斯夫人親自開門來了。

“苔莉莎·德伯住在這兒嗎？”他問。

“德伯太太嗎？”

“是的。”他感到很高興，因為苔絲是以已婚婦女的身份住在這裡的。“請轉告她有一個親戚想要見她，就說是安吉爾。”

“安吉爾先生嗎？”

“不，就是安吉爾，她會明白的。”

安吉爾在起居室裡等候，他的心在痛苦地跳動著。

“她對我到底會有什麼看法呢？”他在想，“我看起來完全不同了，老了這麼多！”病後他的身子還很虛弱。當她走進房間時，他幾乎無法站立，緊緊地抓著椅子的靠背。

對他所見的情景，他沒有心理準備，苔絲穿著時髦簇新的衣服，看起來比他記憶中的她更為楚楚動人。他伸出雙臂，可又垂落下來，因為她木然不動地站在門口。他心想，她不能接受他改變了的模樣。

“苔絲！”他輕輕叫道。他的嗓音低沉，因情緒激動而斷斷續續。“你能寬恕我離你出走嗎？難道你……不能向我走過來嗎？為什麼你……如此漂亮？”

“太晚了，”她說。她聲音有些刺耳，眼睛的光芒也是躲躲閃閃的。

“我過去沒有看出你真正的本質，請你寬恕我，苔絲！”他請求道。

“太晚了，太晚了！”她焦躁地揮著手，說道，“別靠近我，安吉爾！站開！”

“可是，我的好妻子，是因為我生了病，你就不愛我了嗎？我是來找你的，我的父母也會歡迎你！我把一切都告訴他們了！”

“是的，是的！可是，太晚了。”每一秒鐘對她都像一個小時那樣難捱，她覺得自己如同在夢中，想要逃，卻不能。“你還不知道發生了什麼事嗎？我把你等了又等。可你沒有來！後來我給你寫了信，你還是沒有來！他老是說，你永遠不會再回來了，父親去世後，他待我們家非常好，他……”

“我聽不懂。”

“他重又把我拉過去了。”

克萊爾盯著她看。他看到了她時新的衣服，他看到了她鬆弛的、保養得很好的身子，他看到她白皙嬌嫩的雙手。終於，他領會了她的意思，一下子癱倒在椅子上，像是被人在頭上擊了一下。

她繼續說著：“他在樓上。我現在恨他，因為他向我撒了謊，說你再也不會回來了，可你卻已經回來了！安吉爾，現在請你走開吧，永遠別再回來，好嗎？”

他們面面相覷，沒有歡樂也沒有希望，只是竭力地希望躲避這嚴酷的現實。

“這是我的錯呀！”克萊爾說。對是這已經無濟於事了。他最初愛過的苔絲已把她的身軀從她的靈魂中分離開了，她的靈魂保持著，而且將永遠保持著對他的忠誠。可是在遭受他的拒絕之後，她已不再關心她的身軀所要承受的一切了。

一陣胡思亂想之後，他發現苔絲已經離開了。他的心被迷茫的大霧籠罩著。他覺得很冷，極其不舒服。不知不覺中，他來到了街上，走著，儘管他並不知道要走向何處。

布魯克斯夫人平常不太愛管客人們的閒事。她太關心他們付給她的錢了，顧不上問許多問題。然而，安吉爾·克萊爾對德伯先生和太太的拜訪——據她所知，他們可是非常富有的客人——有些太不尋常，引起了她的興趣。她能斷斷續續地聽到一點兒這兩個失魂落魄的人之間的談話。當苔絲返回到樓上時，布魯克斯夫人也躡手躡腳地摸上來，偷偷地在臥室門外聽著。她聽到苔絲啜泣的聲音，貼著鑰匙洞眼，她看到她半癱在早餐桌上。

“後來，我那親愛的丈夫回家找我來了……可是，太晚了！因為你用你的花言巧語勸誘我！就像你誘姦我時做的那樣！你對我說，他將永遠不回來了！可是，他回來了！你幫助我的家人——你聰明地利用這個勸誘我，可是當我相信了你，來和你一起生活時，他回來了！現在我又一次失去了他，這次是永遠失去他了！他現在會恨我的！”她轉過那張淚痕滿面的臉，布魯克斯夫人能夠明白她正遭受多麼大的痛苦。“他命不長了，他看上去是命不長了！如果他死了，那是我的罪過！你毀了我的一生，也毀了他的！我受不了啦！我受不了啦！”那個男人尖聲說了句什麼，之後，一陣沉寂。

布魯克斯夫人返回樓下等著，等著被召喚去端走他們的早餐。她聽到苔絲髮出了些響動，然後看到苔絲齊全地穿著那身時新的衣服，離開了房子。也許德伯先生還睡著呢，因為他不喜歡早起。布魯克斯夫人暗自納悶早上的來訪者到底是誰，而德伯太太這麼一大早又要去哪兒。

就在這時，她注意到天花板上有什麼痕跡，看起來正在擴散。是紅色的，她爬上桌子，摸了摸，像是血。她跑上樓，又在臥室門邊偷聽。死一般的寂靜被這有規律的一滴、一滴、又一滴的聲響給打破了。她瘋狂地跑到大街上，請求一個她認識的男人同她一起回去。他們一起急急地上了樓，推開了臥室的門。早餐一動未動地擺在桌子上，可是那把大刀子不見了。他們發現它插在亞歷克·德伯的心臟上。他煞白地、僵硬地躺在床上，已經死了，還在流血。布魯克斯夫人的房客被他年輕的妻子殺死了。這個消息很快傳遍了整個桑德伯恩。