# ■ 18

This desperate cry for help eventually arrived at the parson's house in Emminster．Old Mr Clare was pleased．

‘I think this letter is from Angel's wife．I hope this will bring him home more quickly．He did say he was planning to come home next month．’

‘Dear boy，I hope he will get home safely，’murmured Mrs Clare．‘I still feel he should have gone university like the other two．He should have had the same chance as them，Church or no Church．’

This was the only complaint she ever made to her husband．He too was worried that he had been unfair to Angel．They blamed themselves for this unfortunate marriage．If Angel had studied at Cambridge he would never have become a farmer and married a country girl．Still，his more recent letters showed that Angel was planning to come home to fetch her， so perhaps their quarrel，whatever it was， could be settled．

Angel himself was at this moment riding across Brazil towards the coast．He had never completely recovered from the serious illness he had had when he first arrived．He was not as strong as before，and looked much older．The country had been a disappointment to him．Many farmers had come here from England hoping to make their fortune，and had died in the fields or on the roads．He knew now he could not farm here．

His attitude to life had changed during this time． He began to look again at what was right and wrong．He began to see that a person should be judged not only on what he has done but also on what he wanted to do．He began to think that he had perhaps been unfair to Tess，and he thought about her with growing affection．

He wondered why she had not written．He forgot that he had told her not to write first．He did not realize that she was obeying his orders exactly，although it was breaking her heart．

On his journey，he travelled with another Englishman．They were both depressed and both told each other their problems．The stranger was older and more experienced than Angel．He had a different，more open approach to life．He told Angel clearly that he was wrong in parting from Tess．

The next day they got wet in a thunderstorm．The stranger fell ill and died a few days later．Death came as no surprise in that unfriendly land．Clare buried him，and continued his journey．The man's words were somehow given greater importance by his unexpected death，and suddenly Clare felt ashamed．Tess had committed no crime． He should believe in her character，and not object to a past action she could not avoid．He remembered the words of Izz Huett：She would have laid down her life for you．No woman could do more．How she had looked at him on their wedding day—as if he were a god！And during that terrible evening by the fireside，when she told him her story，how desperately sad she had been to realize he might not love her any more．

Meanwhile Tess was not hopeful that Angel would come in answer to her letter．The past had not changed，so he might not change either．Nevertheless she spent her spare time preparing for his possible return，practising singing the songs he used to like，tears rolling down her cheeks all the while．

One evening she was in the cottage as usual when there was a knock at the door．A tall thin girl came in and Tess recognized her young sister Liza－Lu．

‘Liza－Lu！’said Tess．‘What's the matter？’

‘Mother is very ill，’her sister said seriously，‘and father is not well either and says a man of such noble family shouldn't have to work．So we don't know what to do．’

Tess thought for a moment．She realized she had to go home immediately，although her time was not yet up at the farm．She left her sister to rest for a while，and she herself set off at once with her possessions in a basket．

Although it was night and she had a fifteen－mile walk， she felt quite safe．She was only worried about her mother， and did not notice the strange shapes of trees and hedges in the darkness．At three in the morning she passed the field where she had first seen Angel Clare，and felt again the disappointment when he did not dance with her．And when she saw the family cottage， it seemed to be part of her body and life，as it always did．

She found her mother recovering from her illness，and took over as head of the household．Her father did not seem ill，and had a new plan for earning money．

‘I'm going to find all the historians round here，’he said，‘and get them to pay money to keep me going．After all，they pay to look after old ruins，and I'm of historical interest．I think they'll be pleased to do it！’

Tess did not have time to answer．She nursed her mother，fed the children，and worked in the garden，planting vegetables for next year．She enjoyed working outside，among her neighbours．One evening when it was almost dark，she was digging happily in the vegetable garden，some distance from the cottage．It was a clear，fresh night，with smoke blowing about from small fires in the gardens．Suddenly she saw a man's face in the light of a fire．It was d’Urberville！She gasped and stepped back，her face pale．

‘What are you doing here？’

‘My dear Tess，I just want to help you，to see you． Have you finished at that farm？’

‘Yes，I have．’

‘Where are you going next？To join your dear husband？’

‘Oh，I don't know！’she said bitterly．‘I have no husband！’

‘That is quite true in one way．But you have a true friend．When you go back to your cottage，you'll see what I've done for you．’

‘Oh Alec，I wish you wouldn't give me anything！I—I have enough，I—I just don't want to live at all！’Her tears fell as she started digging again．When she looked round，d’Urberville had left．

On her way back one of her sisters rushed towards her shouting，‘Tess！Tess！Mother is much better but father is dead！’

‘But father was only a little bit ill！’said Tess，trying to take in the news．

‘He dropped down just now，and the doctor said there was no hope for him because it's his heart！’

Poor John Durbeyfield's death had more importance than his family realized at first．The cottage was in his name．On his death the farmer who owned it decided to put farm workers in it，and told the Durbeyfields to leave．They were not much respected in the village because of John's laziness．Tess also felt guilty that her presence might have influenced the farmer．The village people clearly thought she was not a good example for their children．

So on Lady Day the Durbeyfields had to leave their old home．The night before they left，d’Urberville came to visit Tess，to offer her and her family a little house on his land at Trantridge．Her mother could look after the chickens，and he would pay for the children to go to school．Tess firmly rejected his offer．But when he had gone，for the first time a feeling of anger rose in her against her husband．She had never intended to do wrong and he had punished her too hard！She passionately wrote these few words to him：

Oh why have you treated me so badly，Angel？I do not deserve it．You are cruel！I intend to forget you．You have been so unfair to me！

T

She ran out and posted it before she could change her mind．

‘I see there's been a visitor，’said her mother，coming into the living room later．‘Your husband， was it？’

‘No，it wasn't him．He'll never，never come，’said Tess hopelessly．She had said it was not her husband，but she was feeling more and more that d’Urberville was physically her husband．

Next day their possessions were put on a waggon and taken to Kingsbere．Mrs Durbeyfield had booked rooms there，as it was the family home of the d’Urbervilles，and she still hoped some good would come of belonging to the ancient family．But as they approached Kingsbere after a long and tiring day's journey，a man came to tell them there were no rooms available．Tess and her mother unloaded the waggon，and left the children and furniture near the churchyard wall，while they looked for somewhere to stay．But all the rooms were full．

Tess looked desperately at the pile of their possessions． In the cold sunlight of this spring evening the furniture looked old and the pots looked worn．

‘Tombs belong to families for ever，don't they？’asked her mother brightly，having looked round the churchyard．‘Well，that's where we'll stay，children，until the place of your ancestors finds us some shelter！’

Tess helped her mother move the big bed against the church wall．Underground were the tombs of the d’Urbervilles，and at the head of the bed was a beautiful old window，in which the symbols on the Durbeyfield seal and spoon could be seen．The children were put to bed all together for warmth and comfort．

‘Tomorrow we'll find somewhere better！’said Joan cheerfully．‘But Tess，what's the good of you playing at marrying gentlemen， if it leaves us like this！’

Tess went inside the ancient church and stared sadly at the tombs of her ancestors．She thought she saw a movement and turned to look again at a stone figure lying on a tomb．When she saw it was Alec d’Urberville lying there，she almost fainted．

‘I'm going to help you，’he said，jumping up and smiling at her．‘You'll see that I'm more useful than a real d’Urberville．I'll see your mother．You'll thank me for this！’As he brushed past her，she dropped her head on to the cold stone of the tomb．

‘Why am I on the wrong side of this stone？’she whispered．

Marian and Izz had seen Tess moving house with her family，and knew what a difficult position she was in．They generously hoped she would one day be happy with Angel again，and were afraid for her，knowing that Alec d’Urberville was constantly tempting her．They decided to write a letter to Angel Clare，to inform him of the dangerous situation his wife was in．This is what they wrote：

Dear Sir，

Watch out for your wife if you love her as much as she loves you．She is in danger from an enemy in the shape of a friend．A woman's strength cannot last for ever，and water，if it drops continually，will wear away a stone—yes，even a diamond．

From two well－wishers

■ 18

這封絕望的求助信最終到了愛敏斯特牧師的家中，老克萊爾先生很高興。

“我想這是安吉爾的妻子來的信。我希望這會讓他更快地回家。他是說過，他計劃下個月回家的。”

“親愛的孩子，我希望他能平安到家。”克萊爾夫人低聲說道，“我仍然覺得他應該像其他兩個那樣去上大學，他應該和他們有同樣的機會，不管是不是到教會工作。”

這是她有史以來唯一一次向她的丈夫發牢騷。他自己也為他沒有公平地對待安吉爾感到憂慮。他們為這樁不幸的婚姻責備自己。假如安吉爾在劍橋學習的話，他就永遠不會成為一個農場主，也不會跟一個鄉下姑娘結婚了。不過，安吉爾最近一次的來信表明他仍打算回家帶她一起去，所以他們的爭吵，不管是為了什麼，也許可以解決了。

安吉爾自己這個時候正騎馬橫穿巴西到海岸。他一到這兒就生了場大病，以後再也沒有徹底恢復過來。他已經不如以前那麼健壯了，看起來也老了許多。這個國家讓他失望了。許多從英國來的農場主，懷著發家致富的夢想到了這兒，卻死在了地裡或路上。他知道他無法在此經營農場了。

在這期間，他對生活的態度已發生了轉變。他開始再度審視起是非曲直來。他開始明白，評判一個人不僅僅要根據他做過什麼，還要根據他想做什麼。他開始想到自己過去對待苔絲也許是不公平的，他懷著與日俱增的愛戀，回想著她。

他納悶她為什麼不給他寫信。他忘了，他說過不要先來信的。他沒有意識到她在完完全全地服從他的命令，儘管這叫她傷心欲碎。

在行程中，他和另外一個英國人結伴而行。他們都很沮喪，彼此傾訴著自己的問題。這位陌生人比安吉爾年長，閱歷也更豐富。他對生活的態度有自己不同的、更為豁達開朗的一套。他明確地對安吉爾說，他離開苔絲是錯誤的。

第二天，他們趕上一場雷陣雨，被澆溼了。這個陌生人病倒了，幾天之後便死去了。在那種環境惡劣的地方，死神的降臨是不足為奇的。克萊爾將他安葬了，又繼續自己的行程。由於這出人意料的死亡，他的話不知怎地顯示出了更大的重要性，克萊爾突然感到羞愧了，苔絲並沒有犯罪。他應該相信她的品質，而不是對她無法避免的一段過去橫加指責。他回想起了伊茨·休愛特說的話：她可以為你捨棄她的生命。沒有任何一個女人能付出更多了。在他們結婚的那天，她是帶著怎樣的眼神凝視著他呀——彷彿他是一個神！而在火爐邊度過的那個可怕的夜晚，當她對他說了她的經歷後，意識到他可能不再愛她時，她又是多麼地傷心欲絕啊！

同時，苔絲對安吉爾會響應她的信而回來不抱什麼希望了。過去並沒有改變，所以也許他也沒有改變。然而，她還是利用空閒的時間，為他可能的返回作著準備，練習唱他過去愛聽的歌，每到這個時候，眼淚就會從她的雙頰潸潸滾落。

一天晚上，像往常一樣，她正待在小屋裡，這時響起了一陣敲門聲。一個高高瘦瘦的女孩走了進來，苔絲認出，是她的妹妹麗莎－露。

“麗莎－露！”苔絲說，“出什麼事兒啦？”

“媽媽病得很重，”她的妹妹焦慮地說道，“爸爸的身體也不好，還說像這樣一個高貴家族的人是不該工作的。所以我們不知道如何是好。”

苔絲想了一會兒。她意識到自己必須立即回家一趟，儘管她在農場的幹活期未滿。她讓妹妹留下來休息一會兒，自己把行李裝在一個籃子裡，即刻啟程了。

雖然是夜裡了，她還有15英里的路要走，但她覺得十分安全。她只是擔心她的母親，根本注意不到黑暗中那些樹木和籬笆怪異的影子。凌晨3點，她經過與安吉爾·克萊爾初次見面的田野，因他沒有請她跳舞產生的失望又一次湧上心頭。她看到她們家的房子，它就像她身體和生活的一部分。它總是這樣的。

她發現她母親正從病中恢復，又接管了一家的事務，她的父親則不像生病的樣子，還制定了一個掙錢的新計劃。

“我打算找到周圍地區的所有的歷史學家，”他說道，“讓他們出錢支持我的生活。畢竟，他們是要花錢照看那些歷史古蹟的，我也有歷史價值，我認為他們會樂意這麼做的！”

苔絲沒有工夫回答他的話。她要看護母親，餵養孩子，還要在園子裡幹活兒，為來年種點兒蔬菜。她喜歡跟左鄰右舍一起，在戶外幹活兒。一天傍晚，天將黑時，她在菜園子裡歡快地掘著土。園子離家有些距離。這是一個明朗、清新的夜晚。園子裡的小火堆升起了一團團的煙霧，突然，她在火光中看到了一張男人的臉，是德伯！她驚得透不過氣來，後退了幾步，臉變得慘白。

“你在這兒幹什麼？”

“我親愛的苔絲，我只不過想要幫助你，看望你。你在那個農場的活兒結束了嗎？”

“是的，結束了。”

“下一步你要去哪裡？和你親愛的丈夫團聚？”

“哦，我不知道！”她憤憤地說，“我沒有丈夫！”

“從某種意義上說，這是相當正確的，但是你有一個真正的朋友。當你回到你的屋子時，你會看到我為你做的事情。”

“哦，亞歷克，我真希望你什麼都不要給我！我——我已經有足夠的了，我——我根本就不想活了！”當她重新開始掘土時，已是淚流滿面了。她環顧四周，德伯已經走了。

在回家的路上，她的一個妹妹朝她飛奔而來，叫著：“苔絲！苔絲！媽媽好多了，可是爸爸死了！”

“可是爸爸只有一點小小的病！”苔絲說道，極力領會這個消息的涵義。

“他剛才跌倒了。醫生說因為他心臟的毛病，他沒有救活的希望了！”

可憐的約翰·德北的去世所帶來的影響比他的家人最先意識到的更為重大。這座房子是以他的名義使用的。因為他死了，農場主——也就是房主人決定讓農場工人們住到這裡，叫德比一家都搬走。因為約翰的懶惰，他們家在村子裡不太受敬重。苔絲也感到很愧疚，也許她的存在影響了那個農場主。村子裡的人們都明確地認為她不是弟妹們的好榜樣。

於是在聖母領報日那天，德北一家不得不離開了他們的老房子。離開的前一天晚上，德伯來看望苔絲，提出把在純瑞脊他的土地上的一間房子給她和她的家人住。她的母親可以為他養雞，他則可以出錢供孩子們上學。苔絲嚴厲地拒絕了他的幫助。可是當他離開之後，她內心第一次產生了對她丈夫憤怒的感覺。她從來沒有存心要做錯事，他對她的懲罰太殘酷了！她滿懷激情地寫了下面幾句話：

啊，安吉爾，你為什麼對我這麼狠哪？這不是我應受的懲罰，你真是殘酷！我要設法忘掉你。你對待我太不公平了！

苔

她跑出去，趁著她還沒有改變心意趕忙寄了這封信。

“我看有人來拜訪過了，”她母親隨後來到了起居室，說道，“是你的丈夫，對嗎？”

“不，不是他。他永遠、永遠也不會來的。”苔絲絕望地說道。她說了來者不是她的丈夫，可是她卻越來越感到，德伯是她實質上的丈夫。

第二天，他們的家當被裝上了一輛運貨馬車，帶到王陴那兒。德北夫人在那兒訂了房間，因為那兒是德伯家族的房產，並且由於歸屬於這個古老的家族，她仍然抱著從中能出現什麼好事的希望。可是經過一天漫長又疲憊的旅行之後，在臨近王陴時，有個人來告訴他們這兒已經沒有空餘的房間了。苔絲和她母親從貨車上卸下東酉，把孩子和傢俱留在教堂墓地圍牆附近，她們自己則去尋找能住的地方。但是所有的房子都是滿滿的。

苔絲絕望地看著這一堆家當。在這春天傍晚冷冷的日光下，傢俱看起來很破舊，而鍋碗瓢盆都是破破爛爛的。

“墳墓永遠屬於家族所有，是不是？”在環顧了教堂墓地之後，她的母親歡快地問道。“好了，孩子們，在你們祖先的地位給我們找到避難所之前，這就是我們要待的地方。”

苔絲幫助她母親把那張大床移到靠著教堂牆壁的位置。地下就是德伯家族的墳墓，床前有一個漂亮古老的窗格，裡面可以見到德伯印章和銀匙上的標記。為了保暖和舒適起見，孩子們統統上了床，擠在一起。

“明天我們會找到一個更好的地方！”瓊樂觀地說道。“可是苔絲，你隨隨便便地嫁給紳士先生們得到了什麼好處，如果我們落到這個地步的話！”

苔絲走進了這座古老的教堂，憂傷地盯著她祖先們的墳墓。她覺得她看到了什麼東西在動，掉過頭去又看了一眼，墳墓上躺著一個僵硬的身子。當她認出是亞歷克·德伯躺在那兒時，她幾乎要昏厥過去了。

“我打算幫助你，”他跳起來，笑著對她說道。“你會看到我比一個真正的德伯家的人更有用處。我要去見你的母親。你會為此感激我的！”當他從她身邊擦肩而過時，她對著墳墓冰冷的石塊垂下了頭。

“我為什麼不是在墓石的另一邊？”她喃喃說道。

瑪麗安和伊茨知道苔絲和她的家人搬家了，也瞭解她處在一個怎樣的困境當中。她們寬厚地希望有一天她會重新和安吉爾幸福地生活在一起。她們也為她擔心，因為她們知道那個亞歷克·德伯在不斷地誘惑她。她們決定給安吉爾·克萊爾寫封信，通知他有關他妻子的危險處境。這是她們寫的內容：

敬愛的先生：

如果您愛您的妻子也像她愛您那樣深的話，請關心她吧。她正受到一個偽裝成朋友的敵人的威脅。一個女人的力量是不能永無止境地持續下去的。如果不停地滴落，水都能穿石——是的，即使是鑽石也會被磨光的。

兩個好心人