# ■ 13

Clare was not depressed by Tess's refusal， feeling sure that she would finally accept him． A few days later he asked her again．

‘Tess， why did you say “no” so positively？’

‘I'm not good enough．’

‘Not enough of a fine lady？’

‘Yes． Your family would not respect me．’

‘You know， you're wrong．My father and mother would．And I don't care about my brothers．’He held her to stop her slipping away．‘You didn't mean it， did you？ I can't work or read or play or anything until I know that you will some day be mine！ Say you will，Tess！’

She could only shake her head and look away．

‘Then I ought not to hold you， to talk to you like this？Why，Tess？’

‘It is for your good，my dearest！ I can't give myself the great happiness of promising to be yours—because I am sure I ought not to！’

‘But you will make me happy！’

‘Ah， you think so， but you don't know！’

After a struggle like this， Tess would go to the fields or her room to cry． Her heart was so strongly on the side of his that she feared she might give way．

‘Why doesn't somebody tell him all about me？’she thought．‘It was only forty miles away． Somebody must know！’But nobody knew and nobody told him．

Tess's life now had two parts， positive pleasure and positive pain． Every time she and Angel were alone together he would ask her again， and she would refuse． She was keeping her promise to herself， but in her heart of hearts Tess knew that eventually she would accept him．Love and nature both advised her to have him without thinking of complications， to delight in passion without considering future pain．

‘I know I shall say yes—I can't help it！’She cried to herself in bed one night．‘But it may kill him when he knows！ Oh， oh！’

‘I've got some news for you all， said Dairyman Crick as they sat down to breakfast one Sunday morning．‘It's that Jack Dollop again．’

‘The lover in the butter－churn？’ said Angel Clare，looking up from his newspaper．‘And has he married the young milkmaid， as he promised？’

‘Not he， sir，’replied the dairyman．‘He's married an older woman who had ￡ 50 a year． They married in a great hurry and then she told him that by marrying she'd lost her￡50 a year！ He only married her for her money too．So now they're always quarrelling．’

‘She ought to have told him just before they went to church，’ said Marian．

‘She ought to have seen he only wanted her money， and refused him，’said Retty．

‘What do you say， my dear？ the dairyman asked Tess．

‘I think she ought… to have told him the truth—or else refused him… I don't know，’ replied Tess， who could not swallow her food． She soon left the table and went into the fields， feeling the pain in the story． She had continued to refuse Angel's offers of marriage， but from that Sunday he changed his approach towards her．He looked for her and came to talk to her at every possible moment， at milking， butter-making， cheese-making， among chickens and among pigs．She knew she could not resist much longer． She loved him so passionately， and he was so like a god in her eyes． He treated her as if he would love and defend her under any circumstances． This began to make her feel less afraid about agreeing to marry him， and telling him the truth about herself．

The days were shorter now， and in the mornings the dairy worked by candlelight．One morning between three and four she ran up to Clare's room to wake him， before waking the others． Having dressed， she was about to go downstairs when Angel came out of his room and stopped her．

‘Now， miss，’he said firmly．‘You must give me an answer or I shall have to leave the house． You aren't safe with me． I saw you just now in your nightdress． Well？ Is it yes at last？’

‘I really will think seriously about it，Mr Clare．’

‘Call me Angel then， and not Mr Clare． Why not Angel dearest？’

‘It would mean I agree， wouldn't it？’

‘It would only mean you love me， and you did admit that long ago．’

‘Very well then， Angel dearest，if I must，’she murmured，smiling． Clare could not resist kissing her warm cheek．

After milking and skimming， all the dairy people went outside． Tess generously tried for the last time to interest Angel in the other dairymaids．

‘There's more in those three than you think， she said．

‘Any of them would make you a better wife than I could． And perhaps they love you as much as I do—almost．’

‘Oh Tessy！’ he cried impatiently． She was so relieved to hear this that she could not make any further self-sacrifice．She knew that this day would decide it．

In the late afternoon Angel Clare offered to drive the waggon with its buckets of milk to the station． He persuaded Tess to go with him．

At first there was silence as they drove along the quiet road，simply enjoying being close to each other．Soon drops of rain started falling．Tess's cheeks were pink and her long hair was wet．She had no jacket， and crept close to Clare． She held an old piece of cloth over them both to keep the rain off．

‘Well， dear，’ said Angel，‘ what about my question？’

‘I'll answer you soon．’

‘Before we get home？’

‘I'll try．’

They passed an old house． Angel explained that it was an interesting place which belonged to the ancient family of the d’Urbervilles．

‘It's very sad when a noble family dies out，’he said．

‘Yes，’ said Tess．

At last they reached the station and watched the milk being lifted on to the train． Tess was fascinated．

‘Londoners will drink it for breakfast， won't they？ People who don't know we drove for miles in the rain so that it might reach them in time．’

‘That's true， but we drove a little for our own reasons too．Now Tess，’ he said anxiously， as they drove away into the night，‘your heart belongs to me．Why can't you give me your hand as well？’

‘My only reason is you… I have something to tell you—I must fell you about my past life！’

‘Tell me if you want to， dearest．I expect you have had as many experiences as that flower over there！’

‘I grew up in Marlott． And at school they said I would make a good teacher． But there was trouble in my family．Father didn't work very hard and he drank a little．’

‘Poor child！That's nothing new．’ He held her more closely to his side．

‘And there is something unusual about me． I…I am not a Durbeyfield， but a d’Urberville． I'm a descendant of the same family who owned that house we passed．’

‘A d’Urberville！ And is that the whole story， Tess？’

‘Yes，’she answered faintly．

‘Well， why should I love you less because of that？’

‘The dairyman told me you hated old families．’

He laughed．‘Well， I hate the idea that noble blood should be more important than anything else． But I am really very interested in your news． What do you think of it？’

‘I think it's sad， especially here， to see the fields which once belonged to my ancestors．’

‘So that's the awful secret！’

She had not told him．At the last moment she had not been brave enough．

Angel was delighted．‘You see，Tess，society likes a noble name，and will accept you better as my wife，because you are a d’Urberville． Even my mother will like you better． You must use the name of d’Urberville from this very day．’

‘I like the other name best．’

‘But you must！ By the way， there's someone who has taken the d’Urberville name near The Chase． Yes， he's the man who insulted my father． How strange！’

‘Angel， I would rather not take that name！’

‘Now then，Teresa d’Urberville， I've got you！Take my name and you will escape yours！’

‘If it is sure to make you happy and you do wish to marry me very very much…’

‘I do， dearest， of course！Say you will be mine for ever！’

He held her and kissed her．

‘Yes！’No sooner had she said it than she burst into a dry hard sobbing． Angel was surprised．

‘Why are you crying？’

‘I'm crying because I promised I would die unmarried！ Oh，I sometimes wish I had never been born！’

‘Tess，how could you wish that if you really loved me？I wish you could prove your love in some way．’

‘Will this prove it more？’cried Tess desperately， holding him close and kissing him． For the first time Clare learnt what a passionate woman's kisses were like， on the lips of one she loved with all her heart and soul， as Tess loved him．

‘There—now do you believe？’she asked， wiping her eyes．

‘Yes．I never really doubted—never！’

They drove on in the darkness， forming one bundle under the cloth．

‘I must write to my mother，’she said．

‘Of course，dear child． Where does she live？’

‘In Marlott．’

‘Ah，then I have seen you before…’

‘Yes， when you would not dance with me． Oh， I hope that doesn't mean bad luck！’

After this decision Tess wrote an urgent letter to her mother．This was the reply she received：

Dear Tess，

I hope you are well， as I am．We are all glad to hear you are going to be married soon．But Tess，in answer to your question，whatever you do，don't tell your future husband anything about your past experience．No girl would be so foolish，especially as it is so long ago，and not your fault at all．Remember you promised me you would never tell anybody．Best wishes to your young man．

Love from your mother

Tess could not accept her mother's view of life，but perhaps Joan was right in this．Silence seemed best for Angel's happiness．So she grew calm，and from October onwards she was completely happy．Clare seemed the perfect guide， thinker，and friend．She saw perfection in his face，his intelligence， and his soul．She dismissed the past from her mind． They spent all their time together，as country people do once they are engaged．In the wonderful autumn afternoons they walked by streams，crossing on little wooden bridges． They saw tiny blue fogs in the shadows of trees and hedges， and at the same time bright sunshine in the fields．The sun was so near the ground that the shadows of Clare and Tess stretched a quarter of a mile ahead of them，like two long pointing fingers．When Clare talked to Tess of their future， and the farm they would have abroad，she could hardly believe that she would be going through the world by his side．Her feeling for him was now the breath and life of Tess's being．It 152 made her forget her past sorrows，but she knew they were waiting like wolves for their moment to attack．

One day she cried out to Angel：‘Why didn't you stay and love me when I was sixteen… when you danced in Marlott？ Oh，Why didn't you？’

‘Ah yes！If only I had known！But you must not regret so bitterly！Why should you？’

Hiding her feelings quickly，she said，‘I would have had four more years of your love than I can ever have now．’

They had to tell the dairyman and his wife that they were planning to marry．That night as Tess entered the bedroom， all three dairymaids were waiting for her．

‘You are going to marry him！’said Marian．

‘Yes，some day，’said Tess．

‘Going to marry him，a gentleman！’said Izz．

‘It's strange，’said Marian，‘to think Tess will be his wife， not a fine lady，but a girl who lives like us．’

‘Do you all hate me for it？’asked Tess in a low voice．

‘I want to hate you，but I cannot！’said Retty．

‘That's how I feel！’said Marian and Izz．

‘He ought to marry one of you，’murmured Tess．‘You are all better than I am！’

‘No，no，dear Tess，’they all said．

‘I think I ought to make him marry one of you even now！’ she sobbed．they went up to her and calmed her and helped her to bed．Before they went to sleep，Marian whispered，‘You will think of us when you are his wife，Tess，and how we did not hate you，because we did not expect to be chosen by him．’

The girls did not know that Tess cried even more at this， and that she decided she would tell Angel all her history．

Because of this，she would not set a date for the wedding． She wanted to stay as she was，not move forward into a new life．But soon it was clear that the dairyman did not want so many dairymaids at this time of year．Tess would have to leave the dairy at Christmas．

‘I'm afraid I'm glad of it，’said Angel to her，‘because now we must decide when to marry．We can't go on like this for ever．’

‘I wish we could．I wish it could be always summer and autumn，with you always loving me！’

‘I always shall．’

‘Oh，I know you will！Angel，I'll fix the day！’

So they decided on 31st December．The wedding was to take place as privately as possible at the dairy．Tess now felt she could not stop things happening，and agreed passively to whatever Angel suggested．In fact Angel's plans were a little hurried．He had not meant to marry so soon．But he wanted to keep her with him，to help her with her reading and studying， so that he could present her proudly as a lady to his parents． He also planned to spend some time studying work in a flour－ mill．They could spend their honeymoon staying in the old farmhouse which had once belonged to the d’Urbervilles， while Angel studied at the mill nearby．

The day，the impossible day of their wedding，came closer． His wife，Tess said to herself．Could it ever be？

Angel and Tess decided to spend a day together shopping on Christmas Eve．They went into town in a borrowed carriage． The town was full of strangers，who stared at Tess，happy and beautiful on Angel's arm．At the end of the day，Tess was waiting for Angel to bring the horse and carriage，when two men passed her in the street．

‘She's a lovely maiden，’one said to his friend．

‘She's lovely，yes．But she's no maiden，replied the other．

Angel returned at that moment and heard these words． Wildly angry at this insult to Tess，he hit the man in the face． The man said quickly：

‘I'm sorry，sir，I must have made a mistake．’

Angel accepted this，gave the man some money，said goodnight，and drove off with Tess．The two men went in the opposite direction．

‘And was it a mistake？’asked the second man．

‘Certainly not，’said his friend．

On the way home Tess was very serious．She felt she could not tell him the truth to his face，but there was another way． So she went to her room and wrote a four－page letter describing exactly what had happened three or four years ago． In the night she crept up to Angel's room and pushed the letter under his door．

Next morning she looked anxiously at him，but he kissed her as usual．He said nothing about the letter．Had he read it？ Did he forgive her？ Every morning and night he was the same， until finally the wedding day came．

Tess had not invited her family from Marlott．Angel had written to his．His brothers had not replied，and his parents wrote that they hoped he was not hurrying into marriage， but that he was old enough to decide for himself．Angel did not mind，because he was planning to introduce Tess to them as a d’Urberville as well as a dairymaid，some months later．

Tess was still worried about her confession，and left the crowd of busy people downstairs to creep silently up to Angel's bedroom．There she found her letter unopened，just under the carpet．He had not seen it．She could not let him read it now， in the middle of the preparations．She found him alone for a moment．

‘I must confess all my mistakes to you！’she said，trying to keep her words light．

‘Not today，my sweet！We'll have plenty of time later on！ I'll confess mine too．’

‘Then you really don't want me to？’

‘I don't，Tessy，really．’

From now on，her one desire，to call him husband，and then if necessary to die，carried her on．She moved in a cloud．

There were few people in the church．At one point she let her shoulder touch Clare's arm，to be sure that he was really there．It was only when she came out that she noticed the carriage they were driving back in．She felt she must have seen it in a dream．

‘Oh，maybe you know the story of the d’Urberville carriage，’said Angel，‘and this one reminds you of it．In the past a certain d’Urberville committed a crime in his carriage， and since then d’Urbervilles see or hear the old carriage whenever… But it's rather depressing to talk about．’

‘Is it when we are going to die，Angel，or is it when we have committed a crime？’

‘Now，Tess！’He kissed her．But she had no energy left． She was now Mrs Angel Clare，but wasn't she really Mrs Alexander d’Urberville？

Later that afternoon they left the dairy．All the dairy people watched them leave，and Clare kissed the dairymaids goodbye． As he was thanking the dairyman，a cock crowed just in front of him．

‘That's bad！’whispered the dairymen to each other． ‘When a cock crows at a husband like that…’and they laughed together behind their hands．

‘Go away！’shouted Mr Crick at the cock．Later he said to his wife，‘Why did it have to crow at Mr Clare like that？’

‘It only means a change in the weather，’said Mrs Crick， ‘not what you think．That's impossible．’

Tess and Angel arrived at the old d’Urberville farmhouse．It was empty，although a woman came to cook and clean for them．They had their tea together，and Clare delighted in eating from the same plate as Tess．Looking at her he thought，‘Do I realize how important I am to this woman？ And how I must look after her？I must never forget to think about her feelings！’

It started to rain as it grew dark outside．Finally a man arrived from the dairy with their bags．

‘I'm sorry I'm late， sir，’he said，‘but terrible things have been happening at the dairy You remember the cock crowing？ Well，whatever it means，poor little Retty Priddle has tried to drown herself！’

‘What happened？’asked Angel．

‘Well，after you left，she and Marian walked from one public house to another，drinking．Retty was found in the river，later on．And Marian was found drunk in a field！’

‘And Izz？’asked Tess．

‘Izz is at home as usual，but very sad and depressed．’

As the man left，Tess sat sadly by the fire，looking into it． They were simple innocent girls who had not been loved．It was wicked of her to take all the love without paying for it． She would pay：she would tell，there and then．

Angel was sitting beside her，holding her hand．Their faces were red in the firelight．

‘This morning，’he said suddenly，‘ we said we would both confess our mistakes．I must tell you something and you must forgive me．Perhaps I ought to have told you before．I've put off telling you，because I didn't want to lose you．’

‘Angel，I'm sure I'll forgive you…A wild hope was making Tess's heart beat faster．

‘Well，wait a minute．You know how much I believe in goodness and purity But I myself，when I was in London years ago，did wrong with a woman I hardly knew．It lasted two days．I came home and I have never done anything like it since．Do you forgive me？’

‘Oh Angel，of course I do！And I am almost glad，because now you can forgive me！I have a confession too．’

‘Ah yes，well confess，you wicked little girl！It can hardly be more serious than mine．’

‘It can't，no，it can't！’She jumped up joyfully at the hope．

‘No，in fact，it is just the same．I will tell you now．’

She sat down again．They held hands．The fire burned like a Judgement Day fire．Her shadow rose high on the wall． Putting her head against his，she bravely told the whole story of her meeting with Alec d’Urberville and its results．

■ 13

克萊爾沒有因為苔絲的拒絕而感到沮喪，他相信她最終會接受他的。過了幾天，他再度向她問起此事。

“苔絲，為什麼你這麼肯定地對我說‘不行’？”

“我不夠好。”

“不夠一位體面的小姐的標準？”

“是的。你的家庭是不會尊敬我的。”

“你知道，你這麼說不對。我的父親和母親會尊敬你的，我不在乎我哥哥的看法。”他抱住她，防止她逃開。“你不是當真的，是不是？除非我知道有一天你將屬於我，否則我無法工作，無法看書，無法放鬆或做任何別的事情！苔絲，說你會是我的！”

她只是不斷地搖頭，看著別處。

“那麼，我不應該抱住你，不該這樣跟你談話？為什麼，苔絲？”

“我最親愛的，這是為你好！我不能給予自己這莫大的幸福，答應你我將屬於你——因為我確信我不應該！”

“但是那樣你會讓我幸福的呀！”

“啊，你這樣認為，可是你並不知道實情啊！”

這樣一番掙扎之後，苔絲會跑到野外或房間裡痛哭一場。

她的心是如此緊密地和他連在一起，她怕她會屈服的。

“為什麼沒有人告訴他關於我的事情？”她想，“那兒離這兒只有四十英里遠，一定有人知道的！”但是沒有人知道，也沒有人告訴他。

現在，苔絲的生活包含了兩部分，實實在在的快樂和實實在在的痛苦。每當她和安吉爾單獨在一起的時候，他都會再問她，而她又會拒絕他。她堅守著自己的承諾，但在內心深處，苔絲知道她終歸會接受他的。愛情和自然都勸她去擁有他，而不要想得太複雜，趁著現在的熱情享受快樂，而不要考慮將來的痛苦。

“我知道我會答應的——我剋制不了！”一天晚上睡覺時，她哭著對自己說，“可是，當他知道那件事情以後，那也許會要他的命的！唉，唉！”

“我給你們大家帶來了一些新聞。”星期天上午，當他們坐下吃早飯時，奶場主克里克說道，“還是關於傑克·多洛的事。”

“那個黃油機裡的情人？”安吉爾·克萊爾抬起他正在看報紙的眼睛，說道，“他遵守諾言跟那位年輕的擠奶女工結婚了嗎？”

“他沒有，先生。”奶場主回答道，“他娶了一個比他大的女人，那女人一年有五十英鎊收入。他們匆匆忙忙結了婚，然後她告訴他因為結婚，她失去了她的每年五十英鎊！他也不過是因為她的錢才娶她的。因此，現在他們一直吵吵鬧鬧。”

“她應該在他們進教堂之前跟他說。”瑪麗安說道。

“她應該看清他只想要她的錢，然後拒絕他，”蕾蒂說道。

“你怎麼認為，親愛的？”奶場主問苔絲。

“我認為她應該……告訴他真相——或者拒絕他……我不知道。”苔絲回答道。她再也咽不下她的飯了。她很快離開了餐桌，跑到了野外，感受著故事中的痛苦。她一直下斷地拒絕安吉爾的求婚，但是從星期天開始，他變著法子接近她。他四處尋找她，利用每一個可能的機會跟她說話，不管是擠奶、制黃油還是做奶酪的時候，也不管是在雞中間還是在豬群裡。她知道她抵擋不了多久了。她這麼熾烈地愛他，在她眼裡，他就是一個神。他對待她就像不管在什麼情況下，他都會深愛她，保護她。對於答應嫁給他並告訴他關於自己的事實真相這件事，她的害怕減少了。

現在白天變短了，清晨牛奶場要藉助燭光幹活。一天凌晨三四點鐘之間，在喚醒其他人之前，她跑到樓上克萊爾的房間裡，先喚醒他。她正準備下樓，這時安吉爾已經穿好了衣服，從他的房間裡走出來，叫住了她。

“小姐，現在，”他的語氣很堅決，“你必須給我一個答覆，否則我只有離開這個房子。跟我在一起你並不安全。我剛才看到你穿著睡衣。那麼，最後你是答應了？”

“我一定會認真考慮的，克萊爾先生。”

“那麼叫找安吉爾，而不是克萊爾先生。為什麼不叫安吉爾，最親愛的？”

“那就表明我同意了，不是嗎？”

“這隻表明你愛我，這是很早以前你就承認過的。”

“那麼好吧，如果我必須這麼叫的話。安吉爾，最親愛的。”她微笑著輕聲叫道。克萊爾抑制不住要親吻她那溫暖的臉頰。

擠完又撇完牛奶之後，所有奶場的人都出去了。苔絲最後一次慷慨地嘗試引起安吉爾對其他擠奶女工的興趣。

“那裡面你可以考慮的遠不止三個，”她說，“其中任何一個都比我更適合做你的妻子，而且也許她們和我一樣愛你——幾乎是一樣的。”

“哦，苔絲！”他焦躁地叫道。聽到這個，苔絲是那麼寬慰，她無法再進一步地作任何自我犧牲了。她知道這天就是作決定的日子。

那天傍晚，安吉爾·克萊爾要趕一輛裝著一桶桶牛奶的馬車去車站。他說服苔絲跟他一起去。

最初，他們沿著安靜的馬路趕著車子，誰也沒吱聲，只是默默地體會著彼此靠近的感覺。不久，開始有雨點滴落下來。苔絲的臉頰微紅著，她的長髮潤溼了。她沒有穿外套，不知不覺地偎近了克萊爾。她抓起一塊舊布蓋在他們身上擋雨。

“嗯，親愛的，”安吉爾說話了，“我的問題考慮得怎樣了？”

“我很快就會答覆你的。”

“在我們到家之前？”

“我會盡力。”

他們經過了一座舊房子。安吉爾解釋說，這是一個讓人好奇的地方，它屬於一個叫做德伯的古老家族。

“一個高貴的家族消逝時是會讓人傷感的。”他說。

“是啊。”苔絲說。

終於，他們到達了車站，看著牛奶被搬上了火車。苔絲看呆了。

“倫敦人會在早餐時喝到它們，是不是？那些人不知道我們冒著雨趕了這麼遠的路，就為了讓他們能及時喝到牛奶。”

“確實如此，不過，我們趕車還有一點點我們自己的事情。苔絲，現在，”當他們在夜色中驅車離開時，他急切地問道，“你的心是屬於我的，為什麼不能答應嫁給我呢？”

“我唯一的理由是因為你……我有一些事情要對你說——我必須告訴你我過去的生活！”

“親愛的，要是你願意，你就對我說吧。我想你就如那兒的鮮花一樣有著豐富的經歷！”

“我在馬勒特村長大。在學校讀書的時候，他們說我會成為一個好老師的，但是我們家有點困難。父親工作不很勤快，還喝酒。”

“可憐的孩子！這不是什麼新鮮事。”他把她更緊地摟在了身邊。

“然後，關於我自己有件不尋常的事。我……我不姓德北，而姓德伯。我是那個擁有我們路過的那座房子的家族的後代。”

“德伯家的人！這就是你的所有經歷嗎？苔絲？”

“是的。”她虛弱地回答說。

“可是因為這個，我為什麼就得少愛你一些呢？”

“奶場主對我說過你嫌惡舊家族。”

他大笑了起來。“嗯，我憎惡這種觀念，認為高貴的血統比任何其他事情都重要。但是我對你的新聞真地感興趣。你自己是怎麼想的？”

“我覺得這讓人傷心，特別是在這兒，看到這些曾經屬於我的祖先的土地。”

“所以，這就是那個可怕的祕密嘍！”

她還是沒有告訴他。在這最後時刻，她失去了足夠的勇氣。

安吉爾非常高興。“苔絲，你知道，這個社會喜歡高貴的姓氏。因為你是德伯家的人，作為我的妻子，他們就會更好地接受你。甚至我母親都會更喜歡你的。從今天開始，你一定要用德伯這個姓氏。”

“我更喜歡另外那個姓。”

“但是你必須這樣！順便提一句，在逐獵林附近已經有人襲用德伯這個姓氏了。是的，就是那個人辱罵了我的父親。多奇怪啊！”

“安吉爾，我寧願不要那個姓！”

“喂，苔麗莎·德伯，你是說不過我的。那就用我的姓吧，這樣你就可以避開你的姓了！”

“要是你確信這會使你幸福，而且你確實非常非常希望娶我的話……”

“我確實是這樣的，最親愛的，當然是這樣！說你將永遠屬於找！”

他抱住她並親吻她。

“是的！”她一說出這話，便劇烈地抽噎起來。安吉爾大吃一驚。

“為什麼哭了？”

“我哭，是因為我曾發誓我將終生不嫁！唉，有時我真希望自己從沒出生過！”

“苔絲，如果你真心愛我的話，你怎麼能這樣想呢？我希望你能用什麼方式來證明你的愛。”

“這樣做是不是能更好地證實呢？”苔絲迫切地叫道。她抱緊他，親吻他。克萊爾第一次感受到一個充滿激情的女子親吻的滋味。苔絲以發自內心的愛，親吻著她全心全意愛著的男人的雙脣。

“你看——現在你可相信了吧？”她抹著眼淚問道。

“相信了。其實，我從來沒有懷疑過——從來沒有！”

他們在黑夜中繼續驅車趕路，在那塊佈下縮成了一團。

“我必須給我母親寫封信，”她說。

“當然啦，寶貝。她住在哪兒？”

“在馬勒特村。”

“啊，那麼我以前的確見過你……”

“是的，那時候你不願和我跳舞。哦，我希望這個意味著什麼壞運氣！”

在作了這個決定之後，苔絲給她母親寫了一封緊急的信。這是她收到的回信：

親愛的苔絲：

我希望你和我一樣，一切都好。聽說你不久就要結婚，我們都很高興。但是，苔絲，對你提出的問題，回答是，不管怎麼樣，千萬不要告訴你未來的丈夫任何有關你過去的遭遇。沒有哪個姑娘會這麼傻的，況且這是很久以前的事了，又根本不是你的過錯。記住你答應過我，你永遠不會告訴任何人的。代我問候那個年輕人。

愛你的媽媽

苔絲不能接受母親對於人生的看法，但也許在這件事上，瓊是正確的。保持沉默看來是讓安吉爾快樂的最好辦法。因此，她變得平靜了，而且從10月以來，她一直沉浸在無比的幸福中。克萊爾像是一位絕好的老師、思想家和朋友。她從他的容貌、他的智慧和他的靈魂中找到了完美。在心裡，她擺脫了過去。

像訂了婚的鄉下人那樣，他們在一起度過了所有的時光。在壯麗的秋日午後，他們在小溪旁漫步，從小木橋上走過。他們在樹木和籬笆的影子中看到輕薄的濛濛煙霧，而與此同時，田野上陽光燦爛、明媚。太陽離地面那麼地近，它把克萊爾和苔絲在前面的影子拉到了四分之一英里長，就像伸出了兩根長長的手指。當克萊爾對苔絲講起他們的將來，還有他們將會在國外擁有的農場時，她幾乎不能相信自己將會陪伴在他身旁，穿越這個世界。她對他的感情現在就如同維繫苔絲身心的呼吸或生命一樣。這讓她忘記了過去的悲傷，但是她知道這些悲傷就像伺機等候的狼一般，在等待出擊的時刻。

有一天，她對克萊爾大聲喊道：“為什麼當我十六歲的時候，你不留在我身邊愛我？當你在馬勒特村跳舞的時候？哦，為什麼你不那樣做？”

“啊，我會的！如果我早知道的話！但是你個必這麼哀怨地感到遺憾！為什麼你會這樣想？”

她迅速地掩飾起她的感情，說道：“那樣的話，比起現在來，我就可以多擁有四年你的愛！”

他們有必要把他們準備結婚的事告訴奶場主和他的妻子。那天晚上，當苔絲走進臥室時，另外三個女工都在等著她。

“你就要嫁給他了！”瑪麗安說。

“是的，某一天。”苔絲說道。

“嫁給他，嫁給一位紳士！”伊茨說。

“不可思議，”瑪麗安說，“想想苔絲要成為他的太太了，她並不是一位體面的小姐，而只是生活得跟我們差不多的一個姑娘。”

“你們都會為此恨我嗎？”苔絲輕輕地問道。

“我想要恨你，可是又恨不起來！”蕾蒂說。

“我也是這種感覺！”瑪麗安和伊茨說道。

“他應該在你們中間娶一個。”苔絲說，“你們都比我好！”

“不，不，親愛的苔絲，”她們一起說。

“即使是現在，我想我也應該讓他娶你們當中的一個！”她抽泣著說道。她們走到她身邊，安撫她，並扶她上了床。在她們入睡之前，瑪麗安輕輕說道：“苔絲，你成了他太太之後會想起我們的，想起我們怎麼不能恨你，因為我們從沒指望過被他看中。”

姑娘們不知道，苔絲聽到這些話時，哭得更厲害了。她決定把自己所有的經歷都告訴安吉爾。

因為這個，她不想定下婚期。她只想保持現狀，不願繼續往前走入新的生活。但是很快，情況變得很明顯，那就是奶場主在一年中的這個時候不再需要這麼多擠奶女工了。苔絲將不得不在聖誕節的時候離開。

“恐怕對此我感到高興，”安吉爾對她說，“因為現在我們必須決定什麼時候結婚啦！我們不能永遠這樣下去。”

“我希望我們能夠如此。我希望永遠是甜蜜的夏天和悅人的金秋，而且有你永遠愛著我！”

“我永遠愛你！”

“哦，我知道你會的！安吉爾，我願意定下那個日子！”

於是，他們把婚期定在了12月31日。婚禮打算在牛奶場舉行，儘可能地不張揚。現在，苔絲覺得自己無力阻止事情的進展，只是順從地聽任安吉爾安排。實際上，安吉爾的計劃有點倉促，他本來沒打算這麼快結婚的，但是他想把她留在身邊，幫助她讀書、學習，以便日後可以自豪地把她像一位小姐似地帶到他父母面前。同時，他計劃花一段時間到一個麵粉加工廠學習作業。他們可以在那座原來屬於德伯家的舊農舍裡度蜜月，同時，安吉爾可以在附近的麵粉廠學習。

那個日子，那個令人無法忍受的婚禮日期，越來越臨近了。他的妻子，苔絲自言自語道。這可能嗎？

聖誕節的前一天，安吉爾和苔絲決定花一天時間一起去購置一些東西。他們坐著一輛借來的馬車來到了鎮上。這裡到處都是陌生人，他們都盯住挽著安吉爾胳膊、漂亮又快樂的苔絲看。那一天的採購結束時，苔絲正等著安吉爾去牽馬拉車，這時，街上有兩個男人從她身邊經過。

“她真是個討人喜歡的處女。”其中一個對他的朋友說。

“她討人喜歡，這沒錯。但是她可不是什麼處女。”另一個回答道。

安吉爾恰好在這時回來，聽到了這些話。對苔絲的這種侮辱讓他怒不可遏，他對準那人的臉就是一拳。那人趕緊說道：

“對不起，先生。我剛才一定是搞錯了。”

安吉爾接受了道歉，給了那人點兒錢，道了聲晚安，就和苔絲駕車離開了。那兩人朝相反的方向走去。

“是弄錯了嗎？”另一個人問道。

“絕對沒有。”他的朋友說。

在回家的路上，苔絲非常地嚴肅。她覺得她不能把事情的真相當面告訴他，不過還有別的辦法。於是她回到自己的房間，寫了一封四頁長的信，信中詳實地描述了三四年前所發生的事情。晚上，她躡手躡腳地走到安吉爾的房間，把信從門底下塞了進去。

第二天早晨，她焦慮地看著他，但是他親吻她時和平常沒什麼兩樣。關於那封信，他隻字未提。他讀過信了嗎？他寬恕她了嗎？每天早晚，他都一如既往，終於，他們結婚的喜日子到了。

苔絲沒有邀請她在馬勒特的家人。安吉爾給他的家人寫了信。他的哥哥們沒有答覆，他的父母來信說，他們希望他不要草率地結婚，但是他已經足夠大了，可以為自己做主。安吉爾並不介意，因為他打算幾個月後，把苔絲不僅作為一個擠奶女工，還作為一個德伯家的人介紹給父母。

苔絲還在為她那封自白書憂心忡忡。她悄悄地離開了正在樓下忙碌著的人群，輕手輕腳地來到了安吉爾的臥室。在那兒，她發現她的信原封未動地塞在地毯下。他還沒有見到這封信。可現在她不能讓他看這封信了，因為婚禮正在準備當中。她找到了與他單獨待一會兒的機會。

“我必須向你坦白我所有的過錯！”她說道，儘量把話說得柔和一些。

“今天不行，我的寶貝兒！往後我們會有充裕的時間！那時我也要坦白我的過錯！”

“那麼，你是真地不想讓我說嘍？”

“是的，苔絲，的確是這樣。”

從現在開始，她只有一個渴望，就是稱他為丈夫。然後如果需要有人去死的話，那就讓她去好了。她像在一片雲霧中活動著。

教堂裡只有寥寥數人。有一會兒，她用自己的肩膀碰碰他的手臂，好讓自己確信他真地在那兒。只是到了她走出教堂時，她才注意到這輛載著他們回去的馬車。她覺得她一定是在夢裡見過它。

“啊，也許你知道德伯家馬車的故事。”安吉爾說，“這輛馬車讓你想起了它。過去，有一個德伯家的人曾在他的馬車裡犯下了罪，從那以後，德伯家的人總會看到或聽到那輛舊馬車，當他們……但是，談論這個太讓人沮喪了。”

“安吉爾，是當我們要死的時候，或是當我們犯了罪的時候嗎？”

“別說啦，苔絲！”他親吻著她。但她已經虛弱不堪了。她現在已成了安吉爾·克萊爾夫人，但實際上，她難道不是亞歷山大·德伯夫人嗎？

那天傍晚時分，他們離開了牛奶場。牛奶場的所有人都來為他們送行。克萊爾向每一個擠奶女工親吻告別。當他向奶場主致謝時，一隻公雞恰好在他面前啼叫開了。

“那可不吉利！”奶場工們相互竊竊私語。“當公雞衝著丈夫那樣叫時……”他們在背後取笑起來。

“走開！”克里克先生衝著公雞喊道。後來他對他的妻於說：“為什麼公雞一定要對著克萊爾先生那樣啼叫呢？”

“這隻表明天氣要變了，”克里剋夫人說，“不是你想的那樣。那是不可能的。”

苔絲和安吉爾來到這座德伯家的舊農舍。整座房子空無一人。但是，會有一個女人來給他們做飯，打掃房子。他們一起吃茶點，克萊爾能和苔絲用同一個盤子進餐了，他感到非常高興。他看著她，心想：“我意識到了我對這個女人有多重要嗎？我又必須怎樣去照顧她？我必須永遠不忘考慮她的感受！”

夜幕漸漸降臨，外面開始下雨了。終於，從牛奶場來了一個人，送來了他們的包裹。

“先生，很抱歉，我來晚了。”他說，“但是牛奶場剛剛發生了些可怕的事情。你還記得公雞打鳴嗎？唉，不管那預示著什麼，可憐的小雷蒂·普里德爾想淹死自己！”

“出了什麼事？”安吉爾問道。

“是這樣，在你們離開以後，她和瑪麗安從一個酒店走到另一個酒店，不停地喝酒。後來，有人在河裡發現了蕾蒂，又有人發現瑪麗安醉倒在一塊田裡！”

“那麼伊茨呢？”苔絲問道。

“伊茨還像平常那樣待在家裡，但是非常傷心沮喪。”

這人離開了，苔絲神色悽愴地坐在壁爐旁，注視著爐火。她們都是從未被人愛過的樸實、純潔的姑娘。而她沒有付出任何代價，就獲得了所有的愛，這是不道德的。她會償付的：就在此時此地，她要把一切都講出來。

安吉爾坐在她的身旁，握著她的手。在爐火的烘照下，他們的臉紅彤彤的。

“今天上午，”他突然說道，“我們說過我們都要坦白自己的過錯。有些事情，我必須告訴你，而你一定要寬恕我。也許我應該早些告訴你。我一直拖到現在才告訴你，是因為我不想失去你。”

“安吉爾，我一定會寬恕你……”急切的希望加快了苔絲的心跳。

“不過，先等一等。你知道我對美德和純潔有多麼篤信。可是，我自己，幾年前在倫敦時，卻糊里糊塗地和一個女人做了壞事。我們在一起度過了兩天時間。回到家以後，我再也沒幹過類似的事情。你會寬恕我嗎？”

“哦，安吉爾，當然，我會的！可以說，我的心情倒好些了，因為現在你能寬恕我了！我也有要坦白的事。”

“啊，是的，好好坦白吧，你這個小壞蛋！不會比我的更嚴重了吧。”

“不會的，是的，不會的！”由於充滿了希望，她快樂地跳了起來。“是的，實際上，它們完全一樣。我現在就講給你聽。”

她又坐了下來。他們的手握在一起。爐火燃燒得如同末日審判的火焰一般。她的身影被長長地映在了牆上。她把頭靠在他的頭上，勇敢地把自己與亞歷克·德伯的相遇及其結果統統告訴了他。