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@ 51455 婚前恐懼症
A: 舒雅老師，我最近每天一睜開眼睛就特別焦慮。晚上也經常失眠。
Shūyǎ lǎoshī, wǒ zuìjìn měitiān yī zhēngkāi yǎnjing jiù tèbié jiāolǜ. wǎnshang yě jīngcháng shīmián.
Mr. Shuya, lately I’ve been really anxious every day. I often can’t sleep at night as well.
B: 哦。那你覺得是什麼原因導致你焦慮和失眠的呢？
ò. nà nǐ juéde shì shénme yuányīn dǎozhì nǐ jiāolǜ hé shīmián de ne?
Ah. Well, what reasons do you think are bringing about this anxiety and insomnia?
A: 我下個月就要結婚了，但我一想到結婚就覺得害怕，老看男朋友不順眼，老想找茬跟他吵。
wǒ xià ge yuè jiùyào jiéhūn le, dàn wǒ yī xiǎngdào jiéhūn jiù juéde hàipà, lǎo kàn nán péngyou bù shùnyǎn, lǎo xiǎng zhǎochá gēn tā chǎo.
I’m about to get married next month, but every time I think about getting married, I feel scared. I always think poorly of my boyfriend, and I'm always wanting to nitpick and get into arguments with him.
B: 能跟我說說你們的感情嗎？
néng gēn wǒ shuō shuo nǐmen de gǎnqíng ma?
Could you tell me a bit about your relationship?
A: 我們是一見鍾情，相處三年了，感情一直很好，雙方父母也很贊同我們的婚事。可我最近越來越害怕了。你說我是不是得了婚前恐懼症？
wǒmen shì yījiànzhōngqíng, xiāngchǔ sān nián le, gǎnqíng yīzhí hěn hǎo, shuāngfāng fùmǔ yě hěn zàntóng wǒmen de hūnshì. kě wǒ zuìjìn yuèláiyuè hàipà le. nǐ shuō wǒ shìbushì dé le hūnqián kǒngjùzhèng?
We fell in love at first sight. We’ve been together for 3 years now. Our relationship has always been really good. Both of our parents approve of us getting married as well. The thing is, these days I'm afraid of the future more and more. Do you I’ve gotten cold feet?
B: 如果說婚姻是愛情的墳墓，那沒有婚姻的愛情就是死無葬身之處。你們感情那麼好，婚姻肯定是愛情最好的歸宿了。做好應對變化的心理準備，遇到問題運用智慧解決就行啦！
rúguǒ shuō hūnyīn shì àiqíng de fénmù, nà méiyǒu hūnyīn de àiqíng jiùshì sǐwúzàngshēnzhīchù. nǐmen gǎnqíng nàme hǎo, hūnyīn kěndìng shì àiqíng zuìhǎo de guīsù le. zuò hǎo yìngduì biànhuà de xīnlǐ zhǔnbèi, yùdào wèntí yùnyòng zhìhuì jiějué jiù xíng la!
If it's the case that marriage is the tomb in which love is buried, then love without marriage is like dying without a place to be buried. Your relationship is so good, marriage is the best possible resting place for your love. Just be mentally prepared to handle the changes. If you encounter any problems, be smart about dealing with them, and you'll be just fine!
A: 我擔心整天做家務變成黃臉婆。男朋友是獨生子，什麼家務都不沾手。我也從小嬌生慣養的，我老在想結婚後會不會因為雞毛蒜皮的家務事跟他吵架。
wǒ dānxīn zhěngtiān zuò jiāwù biànchéng huángliǎnpó. nán péngyou shì dúshēngzǐ, shénme jiāwù dōu bù zhānshǒu. wǒ yě cóngxiǎo jiāoshēngguànyǎng de, wǒ lǎo zài xiǎng jiéhūn hòu huì bùhuì yīnwèi jīmáosuànpí de jiāwùshì gēn tā chǎojià.
I’m worried that if I do housework all day I’ll turn into an ugly old shrew. My boyfriend is an only son. He won't do housework. I’ve been pampered my whole life too. I keep wondering if we’ll argue over trivial things around the house after we get married.
B: 結婚以後肯定比談戀愛的時候瑣碎複雜。家務活可以事先約好，共同分擔。有什麼事兒要多溝通，讓對方明白你的想法，最好別用吵架來解決問題。
jiéhūn yǐhòu kěndìng bǐ tánliàn'ài de shíhou suǒsuì fùzá. jiāwùhuó kěyǐ shìxiān yuē hǎo, gòngtóng fēndān. yǒu shénme shìr yào duō gōutōng, ràng duìfāng míngbai nǐ de xiǎngfǎ, zuì hǎo bié yòng chǎojià lái jiějué wèntí.
Life after marriage will certainly be more trifling and complicated than it was when you were dating, but, housework can be arranged beforehand. Also, you can share the responsibilities. If there’s an issue; communicate. Make your partner understand what you're thinking. It’s best not to use arguments as a way to solve your problems.
A: 嗯。舒雅老師，你說結婚以後日子越來越平淡，他對我沒以前好了怎麼辦？
ng4. Shūyǎ lǎoshī, nǐ shuō jiéhūn yǐhòu rìzi yuèláiyuè píngdàn, tā duì wǒ méi yǐqián hǎo le zěnme bàn?
OK. Mr. Shuya, what if after we get married, life becomes more and more bland, and he doesn't treat me like he used to?
B: 一般來說，男人結婚以後就覺得穩固了，會把更多的精力放到工作和賺錢上。別老用女人的心思猜男人的心理，覺得他忽視你了什麼的，多理解他信任他反而更能增進感情。同時自己也要努力做一個自信，成熟，有魅力的女性。
yībānláishuō, nánrén jiéhūn yǐhòu jiù juéde wěngù le, huì bǎ gèngduō de jīnglì fàngdào gōngzuò hé zhuànqián shàng. bié lǎo yòng nǚrén de xīnsi cāi nánrén de xīnlǐ, juéde tā hūshì nǐ le shénme de, duō lǐjiě tā xìnrèn tā fǎnér gèng néng zēngjìn feelings. tóngshí zìjǐ yě yào nǔlì zuò yī gè zìxìn, chéngshú, yǒu mèilì de nǚxìng.
Usually, after a man gets married he feels more stable and will put more energy into work and earning money. Don’t always use your perspective as a woman when trying to figure out a man. Also, don't always think he's ignoring you and such. Try to understand him and be more trusting, and thereby deepen your relationship. At the same time, you also have to work hard at being a confident, mature and charming woman.
A: 有道理。我還擔心婆媳關係處不好。
yǒu dàolǐ. wǒ hái dānxīn póxíguānxi chǔ bù hǎo.
You’ve got a point. Also, I'm worried about things not going well with my mother-in-law.
B: 你跟準婆婆接觸多嗎？
nǐ gēn zhǔnpópo jiēchù duō ma?
Have you had much contact with the mother-to-be?
A: 接觸不多。感覺她還算是一個比較通情達理的老人，就是不知道住在一起會怎麼樣。
jiēchù bù duō. gǎnjué tā hái suàn shì yī gè bǐjiào tōngqíngdálǐ de lǎorén, jiùshì bù zhīdào zhù zài yīqǐ huì zěnmeyàng.
Not very much. I get the feeling she's quite an understanding woman, but I just don't know what it will be like living with her.
B: 你也不需要太擔心，電視劇裡面的惡婆婆還是比較少的。人心都是肉長的，只要你乖巧懂事，真心對待她，一般婆婆是不會為難兒媳婦的。
nǐ yě bù xūyào tài dānxīn, diànshìjù lǐmiàn de è pópo háishì bǐjiǎo shǎo de. rénxīn dōu shì ròu zhǎng de, zhǐyào nǐ guāiqiǎo dǒngshì, zhēnxīn duìdài tā, yībān pópo shì bùhuì wéinán érxífù de.
You needn't be too worried. Those evil mother-in-laws from the TV shows are actually not very common. People are people. As long as you're likable, sensible, and are sincere with her, you'll be fine. Most mothers-in-law don't cause any trouble for their daughters-in-law.
A: 嗯。舒雅老師，跟你聊了以後我覺得心裡輕鬆多了。
ng4. Shūyǎ lǎoshī, gēn nǐ liáo le yǐhòu wǒ juéde xīnli qīngsōng duō le.
OK. Mr. Shuya, after talking with you, my mind feels much more at ease.
B: 放鬆心情，好好準備婚禮吧！祝你們幸福。
fàngsōng xīnqíng, hǎohāo zhǔnbèi hūnlǐ ba! zhù nǐmen xìngfú.
Relax, and get ready for your wedding! I wish you two happiness.
Key Vocabulary
焦慮 jiāolǜ to feel anxious
失眠 shīmián to suffer from insomnia
導致 dǎozhì to lead to, to result in
順眼 shùnyǎn pleasing (to the eye, in general)
找茬 zhǎochá to nitpick, to quibble
一見鍾情 yījiànzhōngqíng to fall in love at first sight
贊同 zàntóng to approve of
婚事 hūnshì marriage, wedding
婚前恐懼症 hūnqián kǒngjùzhèng cold feet
墳墓 fénmù tomb
死無葬身之處 sǐwúzàngshēnzhīchù to die without a place to be buried
歸宿 guīsù final settling place
應對 yìngduì to take measure to
黃臉婆 huángliǎnpó ugly old lady
沾手 zhānshǒu to have a hand in
嬌生慣養 jiāoshēngguànyǎng to be pampered all one's life
雞毛蒜皮 jīmáosuànpí trivial matters
溝通 gōutōng communication
平淡 píngdàn insipid, ordinary
婆媳關係 póxíguānxi relations between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
準婆婆 zhǔnpópo future mother-in-law
通情達理 tōngqíngdálǐ reasonable and understanding
人心都是肉長的 rénxīndōushìròuzhǎngde 'all human hearts are made of flesh' (all people are capable of goodness)
乖巧 guāiqiǎo likeable, lovable
Supplementary Vocabulary
日久生情 rìjiǔshēngqíng 'love will come in time'
終身大事 zhōngshēndàshì very important event in one's life (usually refers to marriage)
草率 cǎoshuài rash
包容 bāoróng to forgive
婚後恐懼症 hūnhòu kǒngjùzhèng 'after marriage phobia'
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