# ■ 9 Doctor Jekyll's confession

I was born in the year 18-． I inherited a large fortune，a strong healthy body and an excellent mind． I wasnaturally hard－working and soon I was extremely successful inmy chosen work as a scientist．Although I was still young，important people came to me for advice．At an age when mostyoung men are going out and having fun， I was behaving like agrey－haired old man．

This was not easy for me．The outside world saw a serious，hard－working doctor． Behind this quiet character， however，was an active， fun-loving young man-about-town． This， ofcourse， was nothing to be ashamed of， but I did not realizethat at the time． I was ashamed， and I soon learned to keepmy two lives separate．

I was not dishonest in any way．Both these people were me．The serious， successful young doctor was me， and the wild，fun-loving，irresponsible young man was me too．I thought about this for a long time and slowly I realized that I was notextraordinary in this． Every man has two sides to hischaracter． He is two people．They live together-often uncomfortably in the same body．

How fantastic，'I thought， if I could separate these twocharacters and give my fun－loving side his freedom． Then hecould go out and enjoy himself unashamedly and leave serious，studious Doctor Jekyll to get on with his important， life-savingwork．'

Was it possible，' I wondered，'to find a drug that couldgive each side of my characier its own separate face and body？'

After much thought and careful study I believed I had foundthe answer．I had read many scientific books and spent manyhours in my laboratory，searching for the right mixture ofchemicals to make my drug．At last I had everything I neededexcept a special kind of salt． I bought some from a chemist，and then I was ready．

I hesitated for a long time before I began my experiment．Only a small mistake in the mixture of the drug could meanimmediate death．But in the end，my wish to know wasstronger than my fear．And so， late one disastrous night， Imixed everything together and prepared my drug．I watchedthe smoke rising from the liquid as it changed colour from redto purple and at last to green．Then， bravely，I drank everybitter drop．

I felt a violent sickness in my stomach and a terrible pain inall my bones．The room seemed to turn round and round and Itrembled with fear．Then the fear and pain disappeared and astrange， sweet feeling took its place． Wild thoughts dancedthrough my mind． They were not good，serious thoughtsThey were the wild passions of an evil and cruel stranger． Butinside myself I felt younger， lighter， more carefree than everbefore．'If this is pure evil，'I thought，'I like it．'

I stood there． enjoying these strange new thoughts and passions-and suddenly realized that I was shorter．At that timethere was no mirror in my stidy． Later I put one on the wallof my study so that I could watch these changes in my appearance Now，however，it was three o'clock in the morning andall the servants were asleep．I decided it was safe to go to mybedroom in my new body and take a look at myself in the mirror there．I crossed the garden and entered my house like astranger． As I came into my room， I saw Edward Hyde forthe first time．

At that time，the good side of my character was strongerthan the evil side．Henry Jekyll had his faults，but he wasmostly a good， kind man．I cannot be sure，but I believe thatis the reason why Edward Hyde was so much smaller thanHenry Jekyll．But that was not the only difference betweenthe two men． Henry Jekyll had a kind， open， honest face．Pure evil stared out of Edward Hyde's eyes．I felt no dislike，however．Indeed，I welcomed him．Edward Hyde was me，young and strong and full of life．

Later，however，I noticed that Hyde's appearance andmanner had a strong effect on other people． Nobody couldmeet Edward Hyde without a feeling of dislike and horror． Ibelieve I understand the reason for this too． Everyone is a mixture of good and evil．Even the worst criminal has a little goodin him． Only Edward Hyde was pure evil．

I stood for a long time，staring at the mirror．'Am Itrapped？'I wondered．'If I am，I must leave this house beforedaylight． If I don't， I shall be arrested as a thief．

I hurried back to my study． With trembling hands I mixedanother dose of the drug and drank it．Again I felt that terriblePain and sickness， but a few seconds later I found myself withthe face and body and character of Henry Jekyll once more．

I blame myself for the things that happened later． It wasnot the fault of the drug．That was neither good nor evil．Butit opened the prison doors and all owed Edward Hyde toescape．Soon he was out of control． He， you will remember，was wholly evil．Doctor Jekyll was not wholly good， however．He was a normal man with normal faults and weaknesses， andHyde was too strong for him．

I welcomed Hyde，therefore．I arranged everything verycarefully．I bought a flat in a poor part of London， where Ikept Hyde's clothes and employed a servant to do the housework．I took a dose of the drug whenever I wanted to forgetmy old， quiet， serious self for a time． In those early daysGod forgive me！-I thought it was all very amusing． DoctorJekyll was well known．Nobody knew Hyde， however， and inhis body I was free to do as I wished．

I will not go into details about my adventures and shamefulacts as Hyde． Jekyll remained as good and kind as ever and always did his best to undo the harm that Hyde did． But as timewent by， Jekyll became less and less able to control Hyde．

One night Hyde injured a child in the street and a passer－bysaw him．That passer－by was your cousin． I recognized himwhen the two of you came to my window．Your cousin caughtHyde and an angry crowd collected． They asked for money forthe child's family． In the end， in order to escape， Hyde hadto give your cousin a cheque in the name of Jekyll．

I learned my lesson from this， and opened a new bank account in the name of Hyde． I even gave Hyde a different handwriting． I was sure I was safe-but I was wrong．

Two months before the murder of Sir Danvers Carew I wentout on one of my evil adventures．Before I went to bed，I tooka dose of the drug and became Doctor Jekyll once more． Iwoke up in bed the next morning with a strange feeling thatsomething was wrong… I looked around the room， thendown at my hand．Henry Jekyll's hand was large，white， andwellmade， but the hand I saw that morning on the bedcoverwas thin，bony， greyish－brown， and hairy．It was the hand ofEdward Hyde．

Sick with horror， I stared at it． I was Henry Jekyll when Iwent to bed，'I thought．'And now I am Edward Hyde…What possible explanation can there be？ And，moreimportant， how can I get to my study and take the drug？'

Then I realized that the servants were quite used to the comings and goings of Hyde． I put on Hyde's clothes and marchedconfidently through the house． Poole stared in surprise to seeMr Hyde so early in the morning， but I did not care． Tenminutes later Doctor Jekyll had returned to his own shape andwas sitting down，pretending to eat breakfast．

Too worried to eat， I sat there thinking hard about my situation． I realized that in recent weeks Hyde had become biggerand stronger， both in body and character．

What will I do，'I thought，' Hyde takes control？'Ithought about the drug． Once，in the early days，it had failedcompletely， and sometimes I had had to take a double dose before I changed into Hyde．Now，however，it was quite easy tobecome Hyde-the problem was to become Jekyll again aftermy adventures．My good self and my evil self were fighting formy mind and body-and my evil self was winning．

I knew I had to choose between the two， and I chose DoctorJekyll． Perhaps I was not wholly serious about this，however，because I did not sell Hyde's flat or destroy his clothes． Fortwo months I lived the life of a quiet and responsible man． Butsoon I began to miss Hyde-his strong young body， his love oflife and his dark adventures in the narrow， nameless streets ofLondon．One night， when my life as Jekyll seemed imposslblydull and boring， I mixed a dose of the drug and drank it．

It was like opening the door of a cage and letting a wild animal escape．That night I became a madman， and beat Sir Danvers to death-for no reason at all．I felt only a wild delight asI hit his body again and again． Afterwards I ran to the flat anddestroyed all my papers． I was not ashamed of my crime． Instead I was filled with a high，sweet excitement． I relived themurder as I walked back home through the streets． I feltstrong and masterful…Edward Hyde had a song on his lipsas he mixed a dose of the drug．'Your very good health， SirDanvers！'he laughed as he drank．A moment of terrible pain，then poor Henry Jekyll fell to his knees and begged God to forgive him．

When I was myself again，I locked the door that led fromthe street to my laboratory． I broke the key and threw itaway． Goodbye for ever，Mr Hyde！I whispered．

The next day the news of the murder was all over London．The servant girl had seen the crime and recognized Mr Hyde．My other self was wanted by the police．

In some ways I was glad． Now Hyde could not show hisface to the world again． If he did， every honest man in London would be proud to report him to the police．

Once again I led a busy，responsible and almost happy life…until one fine，clear January day． I was sitting on a seat inthe park，enjoying the sunshine，when suddenly I felt deathlysick．I began to tremble all over． Soon， however， I felt wellagain－not only well， but young，strong and fearless． I lookeddown； my clothes were suddenly too big，the hand on my kneewas the bony，hairy hand of Edward Hyde． It was so sudden．One moment I was a famous and popular doctor，the next Iwas a violent criminal who was wanted for murder．

How could I get to my study to take the drug？ I had lockedthe street door to my laboratory and broken the key． I couldnot， therefore，enter from the street． I could not go inthrough the house because of the servants．I needed help fromoutside．I thought of Lanyon，but how could I reach him？And how could I persuade him to let Hyde into his home？How，too，could I persuade him to break into Doctor Jekyll's private study？It looked impossible． Then I remembered．My appearance was unrecognizable，but my handwriting was unchanged．I'could still write a letterin Doctor Jekyll's name！Calling a passing taxicab，I orderedthe driver to drive to a hotel quite near Lanyon's house．Ofcourse Jekyll's clothes were much too large for my body，and Ihad trouble in climbing into the cab．The driver noticed mystrange appearance and could not help laughing．I gave himsuch a black look，however，that the smile froze on his face．In my desperate fear and danger，I was like a pain-maddened animal，ready to kill or wound at any moment．I wanted topull the driver from his seat and murder him then and there．But I was clever too．My life depended on my coolness，and Ifought to control my murderous passions．

We reached the hotel．I paid the driver and went inside，holding up my too-large trousers．The servants smiled whenthey saw my strange appearance．I stared angrily at them andtheir smiles disappeared at once．I gave my orders and they ledme to a private room and brought me some writing paper and apen．

Hyde in danger of his life was a new experience for me．He—I write'he'because I find it hard to write'I'—he wasnot human．His only feelings at that time were fear and hate．Hyde was wholly evil，but he was not stupid．He knew thathis life depended on two letters，one to Lanyon and one toPoole．If he failed，he would die．

Carefully he wrote the letters and sent a servant to postthem．After that he sat all day by the fire in the private room．There too he had dinner，brought by a frightened waiter．Atlast，when darkness had covered the city，he sat in the cornerof a closed taxicab．'Just drive round！'he ordered，and thedriver drove backwards and forwards through the streets ofLondon．

Then，when Hyde thought the driver was beginning to sus-pect something，he sent the taxicab away and continued onfoot．He was a strange figure in his too-large clothes，withfear and hate staring out of his eyes．He walked along talkingto himself．Once a woman spoke to him 'Will you buy my matches，sir？'she begged．Hyde hit heracross the face，and she ran away in fear.

My plan was successful．And when I arrived in Lanyon's house，I took the dose of the drug that returned me to my nor-mal appearance．

Immediately afterwards I felt deeply ashamed．Perhaps itwas Lanyon's horror that made me feel like that.I do notknow．But I hated myself and I was conscious of an importantchange in my feelings．I was no longer afraid of the police-Iwas afraid of Hyde himself．The thought of his short，strong，hairy body and his evil，cruel，wholly selfish mind filled mewith horror．

Exhausted by the horrors of that day，I slept heavily．Iwoke in the morning feeling weak and shaky，but quitenormal．I still hated and feared the thought of the wild animalinside me，and I had not forgotten the desperate dangers of theday before．But I was at home and close to my drugs，and Iwas most deeply grateful for my escape．

I was walking across the garden after breakfast，enjoyingthe clear wintry air，when suddenly my body was again tornby those indescribable feelings which I always experienced af-ter a dose of the drug．I only just reached my study before Iwas again burning and freezing with the violent passions ofHyde．With feverish speed I mixed the drug．This time I hadto take a double dose to return to my old shape．And then，on-ly six hours later，the pains returned and I had to repeat thedose．

From that day onwards the situation worsened．I neededlarger and more frequent doses in order to stay in Jekyll's body．The pains came unexpectedly，but most of all when Iwas asleep．I was afraid to go to bed，or even to sleep for afew moments in my chair．If I did so，I always woke as Hyde．

Soon Jekyll was a sick man，feverish and weakened by painand fear．As Jekyll grew weaker，Hyde became stronger thanever．He burned with hate for everybody and everything．AndHyde and Jekyll now hated each other with equal passion．Jekyll hated Hyde because Hyde was evil and inhuman，andbecause Hyde was stronger than he was．Jekyll lived in fear ofwaking up and finding himself in Hyde's body，with allHyde's evil passions．Hyde hated Jekyll for a different reason．His fear of death-the punishment for murder-drove him tothe hiding-place of Jekyll's body．But he hated this prison andwas always fighting．to escape from Jekyll's mind and body，and take control．He also hated Jekyll's weakness and his sad，hopeless condition．Most of all,he hated Jekyll's dislike ofhim．This was why Hyde sometimes did things to annoyJekyll．He tore the doctor's books and wrote all over them.He burned his letters and even destroyed a picture of thedoctor's dead father．

Only Hyde's fear of his own death stops him from killingme．His love of life is terribly strong，and he knows that if hekills me，he too will die．I almost feel sorry for him．

It is useless to continue this confession．The final disasterhas arrived，and will put an end to my punishment．I shallsoon lose my own face and character for ever．I have only afew doses of the drug left．I sent Poole to the same chemist tofetch some more chemicals．When he brought them，I mixed adose of the drug．The liquid smoked and changed from red topurple，but it did not turn green．I drank it，and looked in themirror．But there was no effect．Edward Hyde's face stillstared back at me．

I expect Poole has told you that I have searched London forthe chemicals I need．It is no good．I have decided that thefirst chemicals I bought were not absolutely pure．By accident，they contained something unknown to myself or to the chemistthat prepared them．And that unknown something made mydrug effective．So my drug was an accidental discovery thatcannot be repeated．

About a week has passed．I have used the last of the oldchemicals，and for the moment I am Henry Jekyll again．But Icannot write much more-I have very little time．If Hyde re-turns while I am writing this confession，he will tear it topieces to annoy me．If I finish it，however，he will probablynot notice it．He lives only for the moment，and he is already achanged man．He is like a trapped animal now．He sits in mychair trembling and weeping with hate and fear．All the timehe listens for the policeman's knock at the door．Will he becaught at last，and put to death？Or will he be brave enough totake a dose of poison at the last moment？

Well，that is not my business．This is the true hour of mydeath．When you read this，the Henry Jekyll you know will bedead．The rest of the story is about Edward Hyde．Now，as Iput down my pen，I bring the life of unhappy Henry Jekyll toan end．

■ 9 傑基爾博士的懺悔

我生於18××年，擁有一大筆遺產、一個強健的身體和一個出色的頭腦。當然，我也很勤奮，不久，作為一名科學家，我在自己從事的領域裡獲得了巨大的成功。人雖年紀輕輕，但不少重要人物都向我討教。在那樣的年紀，大多數年輕人都想出去尋歡作樂，而我的舉止卻像個花白頭髮的老人。

這對我來說並不容易。外面的人把我看成一本正經、勤奮工作的博士，但在這安靜的性格下，卻是活潑、愛玩的交際場裡的老手。當然，這沒什麼可以引以為恥的，但是我那時沒有意識到，我感到羞愧難當，這樣，很快我就學會了把自己的兩種生活截然分開。

我沒有一點不誠實，這兩個人都是我。那個嚴肅認真、事業有成的博士是我，那個充滿野性、尋歡作樂、不負責任的年輕人也是我。我想了很長一段時間，慢慢地，我明白這樣並沒有什麼特別之處。每個人的性格都有兩面性，他就是兩個人，住在一起——當然常常是很不舒服地住在一個軀體裡。

“那該有多奇妙，”我想，“如果我能分離開兩種性格，給愛玩的這一邊以充分的自由。這樣，他就可以自己出去，玩個痛快，而把嚴肅認真、勤奮上進的傑基爾博士留下來，繼續做對他至關重要、拯救生靈的工作。”

“這可能實現嗎？”我懷疑，“能找到一種藥，給自己性格的每一面配上不同的臉和軀體嗎？”

我思考了很久，在做了仔細研究之後，我相信自己找到了答案。我看了很多科學方面的書籍，在實驗室也花了不少時間，一直在尋找正確的化合物的劑量來配製我的藥，最後，除了一種特製的鹽類，我要的東西都齊了。後來，我從一個藥劑師那裡買到了，一切準備就緒了。

我在實驗之前猶豫了好久，化合物裡的成分要是有一點點差錯，那就意味著立即死亡。但是，好奇心是如此強烈，終於克服了我的恐懼。在一個該詛咒的夜晚，我把各種成分混在一起，配成了我的藥，我目不轉睛地盯著一縷煙霧從液體裡冒了出來，液體的顏色漸漸由紅變紫，最後變成綠色。隨後，我壯起膽子，喝乾了這劑苦藥。

我感到胃裡劇烈地難受，骨頭縫裡都疼，屋子在我眼前轉了起來，我怕得渾身發抖。不一會兒，恐懼和痛楚都消失了，取而代之的是一種奇怪而甜美的感覺。腦海裡是令人暈眩的魯莽衝動，都是些不嚴肅、不好的念頭，是一個殘忍、邪惡的傢伙才有的念頭。但是我覺得自己變年輕了，身體也輕快多了，精神上更加愉快。“即使是個十足的惡魔，”我想，“那我也喜歡他。”

我站在那裡，在這些奇怪的想法和情緒中放縱自己——猛然間，我注意到自己個子變矮了。那時我的書房裡沒有鏡子，後來我才放了一面，這樣我可以觀察自己外形的變化。那時已經是凌晨三點了，所有的僕人都睡了，我打定主意，就這個樣子去臥室看看自己，這不會有問題的。我穿過花園，像陌生人一樣進了屋，走進自己的房間，第一次見到了愛德華·海德的模樣。

那時，我性格里好的一面比壞的一面強。亨利·傑基爾有自身的缺點，但總的說來是個正直、善良的人。雖不肯定，但我相信這就是愛德華·海德比亨利·傑基爾矮得多的原因。然而，他們的差別還不僅限於此。亨利·傑基爾有一張和藹、開朗、誠實的面孔，而海德眼裡透出的盡是邪惡的目光。但我並沒有覺得不舒服，事實上，我很樂意接受他。愛德華·海德就是我，年輕，強壯，充滿了活力。

但後來我發現海德的相貌和舉止對別人的影響很大，凡是見到他的人沒有不感到既厭惡又害怕的。這個原因，據我看，是因為每個人都是善與惡的混合體，即使是最壞的罪犯也略有好的一面，而只有海德是完完全全由惡組成的人。

我在鏡子前面流連了好一陣。“難道我掉進陷阱裡了？”我納悶，“我還能恢復原樣嗎？天亮之前，我必須離開這間屋子，否則我會被當作小偷抓起來的。”

我趕緊回到書房，用顫抖的雙手又配了另一份藥喝下去，再一次遭受那可怕的疼痛和難受，但幾秒鐘過後，我重返原身，又恢復了亨利·傑基爾的身體、面貌和性格。

我為以後發生的事情深深感到自責，不是因為藥，藥劑本身沒有錯誤，不好也不壞，但是它卻打開了牢獄之門，讓愛德華·海德得以逃脫，很快我就無法控制他了。你應該不會忘記，他是個徹頭徹尾的惡人。傑基爾博士並非一切都好，可不管怎麼說，他是個正常的人，有正常人的缺點和弱點，而海德對他來說太強大了。

那時，我很歡迎海德，仔細為他安排好了一切。我在倫敦的貧民區買了一所公寓，存放他的衣服，還僱用了一個僕人做家務。只要我想忘掉安靜、嚴肅的自己，就喝上一劑藥。剛開始的時候——願上帝寬恕我——我覺得很有趣，傑基爾博士有名望，但沒人認識海德，在他的軀體裡，我願意多自由就有多自由。

我不想多談海德的歷險和可恥的行為，傑基爾還和以前一樣善良，總是儘量去彌補海德造成的破壞。但是隨著時間的推移，傑基爾越來越不能控制海德了。

一天晚上，海德在街上弄傷了一個小女孩，有人在路上看到了他，那人就是你表弟，有一次你們倆散步到我的窗下，我認出了他。你表弟一把抓住海德，憤怒的人群聚了過來，要海德給孩子家賠錢。為了脫身，海德最後給了你表弟一張傑基爾簽名的支票。

從這件事上我吸取了教訓，以後用海德的名字給他開了新的帳戶，我甚至給了他一個不同的筆跡。我想一切都萬無一失了，但我錯了。

在丹佛斯·卡魯爵士遇害的兩個月前，我又來了一次邪惡的冒險。睡覺前我吃了一劑藥，變回傑基爾博士，第二天早晨醒來的時候我感到有什麼不對勁……我看看房間四周，目光落在自己的手上。亨利·傑基爾的手寬大、白皙，十分勻稱，而那天早晨被單上的手卻十分瘦削，又灰又黑，而且毛茸茸的。這是愛德華·海德的手。

我瞪著這雙手，驚奇得發呆，恐懼讓我難受極了。“晚上睡覺的時候還是亨利·傑基爾，怎麼醒來卻成了愛德華·海德……這如何解釋呢？更要命的是，我怎麼去書房配藥呢？”

我忽然意識到僕人們對海德來去出入已經習以為常了。我穿上海德的衣服，裝模作樣地穿過房間。普爾驚訝地瞪著眼，奇怪這麼早就看見海德先生，但我也管不了那麼多了。十分鐘後，傑基爾博士又恢復了原形，坐下來，裝出吃早餐的樣子。

我擔心得夠戧，哪裡還有胃口。我坐在那兒，想著這一切，意識到近幾周來海德的體格開始長大，越來越強壯，而且性格也越來越強了。

“我怎麼辦？”我想，“要是海德控制了局面該如何是好？”我又想到了藥，很早以前實驗的時候，有過一次徹底失敗，有些時候我必須吃兩劑藥才能變成海德，而現在卻越來越容易了——困難的是冒險之後如何再變回傑基爾的樣子。我的善良的一半和邪惡的一半在爭奪著我的身心，而邪惡的一半漸漸佔了上風。

看來我不得不在兩者之間進行抉擇了，我選擇了傑基爾博士。也許我還有所保留，因為我沒有賣掉海德的公寓，也沒有燒燬他的衣服。有整整兩個月，我是個安詳、負責的人，但很快我就開始想念海德了——強壯的體魄，旺盛的生命力以及在那條無名、狹窄的小街上的種種不可告人的冒險經歷。一天晚上，我覺得傑基爾的生活實在無聊、枯燥，於是我又制了一劑藥，喝了下去。

突然，就像打開籠子的門，放出一隻野獸，那天晚上，我像個十足的瘋子一樣把丹佛斯爵士活生生打死了——而且無緣無故。每打一下，我只感到狂野地興奮。隨後我跑回公寓把所有文件都燒燬了，我並不為自己的罪行感到汗顏，相反卻洋洋得意，興奮舒暢。回家的路上，我邊走邊重新回味了殺人的滋味。我感到自己那麼強大，能主宰別人。愛德華·海德一邊配藥，一邊哼著歌。

“為你的健康乾杯，丹佛斯爵士！”他大笑著喝了藥。先是一陣劇痛，隨後可憐的亨利·傑基爾跪倒在地，乞求上帝的饒恕。

我又恢復了原形。我鎖上了由小街通往實驗室的門，弄斷了鑰匙，丟在一邊。“海德先生，永別了！”我低聲說道。

第二天，凶殺案傳遍了倫敦，女僕看到了一切，認出了海德。我的另一半成了警察要找的通緝犯。

我多少有點高興，現在海德不能在這個世界上露面了，只要他一出來，倫敦所有正直的人都會毫不留情地向警方報告的。

我再一次過上忙碌、認真而快樂的生活，直到……那是1月一個天氣晴朗的下午，我坐在公園的長椅上晒太陽，突然感到難受極了，全身顫抖，但很快又感覺一切都好了，而且還更年輕，強壯，無所畏懼。我看看自己，發現衣服一下子大了好多，放在膝蓋上的手又成了海德那樣，瘦骨嶙峋，長滿了毛。幾秒鐘之前，我還是個名聲顯赫、受人尊敬的醫生，一下子卻成了惡毒的凶手，凶殺案的通緝犯。

怎麼回書房吃藥呢？從小街通往實驗室的門鎖了，鑰匙也弄斷了，沒法從街上進家裡，也不可能從大門進去，因為僕人都在那兒。

我需要另外請人幫助，我想到了蘭寧，但怎麼找到他呢？怎麼說服他讓海德進他家呢？又怎麼說服蘭寧去撬開傑基爾博士的私人書房呢？看起來都行不通。

忽然我記起來了！雖然外表認不出我是傑基爾了，但我的筆跡沒變，我還能以傑基爾博士的名義寫封信！於是我叫了輛出租馬車，讓車伕駛到離蘭寧家很近的一家旅館那兒。當然傑基爾的衣服是太大了，坐上馬車也不太容易。車伕看到我這副模樣，忍俊不禁，笑了起來。我白了他一眼，立刻，笑容凝固在他的臉上。在絕望、恐懼和危急中，我好比是讓傷痛激瘋了的野獸，任何時候都會傷人，我恨不能把車伕從座位上揪下來，立刻殺了他。不過我還不笨，知道自己的性命要靠冷靜行事，所以我好不容易才把殺人的慾望壓了下去。

到了旅館，我付了錢，走進去，提著肥大的褲子，侍者望著我奇怪的樣子都笑了起來。我惡狠狠地瞪了他們一眼，笑容也一下子不見了。我開了房間，他們領我到了一個單間，並拿來了紙筆。

海德遇到性命悠關的事對我來說還是第一次。他，——我說“他”是因為我沒法說那是“我”——他根本不是人。此刻他沒別的心思，只有恐懼和仇恨。海德是徹頭徹尾的地獄之子，但他還不傻，他知道自己的性命依賴兩封信：一封是給蘭寧的，一封是給普爾的，要是沒辦好，那他必死無疑。

他很仔細地寫完兩封信，交給當差的送走了。此後，他在壁爐邊坐守終日，飯也在房間裡吃，是一個嚇破膽的侍者端來的。終於，當夜幕全部降臨時，他坐上了一輛車門緊閉的出租馬車，縮在角落裡。“隨便去哪兒，”他吩咐道。馬車伕就在倫敦的街道上前前後後地轉來轉去。

後來，他想到馬車伕可能會疑心，就把他打發走了，自己接著步行，穿著那套不合身的大衣服，樣子很奇特，眼睛裡仍然透出兩種卑劣的感情：恐懼與仇恨。他一邊走，一邊自言自語，還碰到了個女人和他搭話。

“先生，買火柴嗎？”她誠懇地問道。海德卻抽了那女人一耳光，女人嚇得逃得遠遠的。

我的計劃成功了。我趕到蘭寧家吃了藥，又恢復了原形。

可是事後我立刻感到羞愧難當，也許是老朋友失魂落魄的樣子使我不安，我也不太清楚。但我十分痛恨自己，而且意識到我在感情上發生了重要的變化。我不再害怕警察——我怕的是海德本人。一想到他那矮小、粗壯、毛茸茸的身體和邪惡、凶狠、極端自私的思想，我就渾身戰慄。

那天的擔驚受怕讓我筋疲力盡，我沉沉睡去，早晨醒來後感到十分虛弱，不斷髮抖，但人還正常。我仍然痛恨和害怕心中那個狂暴的野獸，也沒有忘記頭天晚上令人膽寒的危險，不過我又回到了家，藥就在手邊，我真高興自己九死一生，終於逃了回來。

早飯後，我去花園散步，呼吸呼吸冬天裡涼颼颼的空氣。突然身體又是一陣劇痛，就像每次吃過藥後無以名狀的痛苦折磨著我，剛剛碰到書房的門，心裡又是一陣翻騰，忽而冰冷忽而灼熱，充斥著海德狂野的慾望。我急不可耐地配了藥，這次喝了雙倍劑量才使我復原。但是，六個小時後，劇痛又回來了，我又得服藥。

從那天起，情況惡化了，藥量大了，次數也多了，只有這樣才能維持著傑基爾的外貌。不知什麼時候，痛楚就來了，尤其是睡覺的時候，我甚至害怕去睡覺，哪怕在椅子上睡幾分鐘。只要稍稍打一會兒盹，醒來就又變成了海德。

很快，傑基爾就成了一個病人，被髮燒、疼痛和恐懼折磨得十分虛弱。而海德卻比以前任何時候都更強大，不論對誰，對什麼事情都充滿了仇恨。他們之間現在對對方也懷著相同的仇恨。對傑基爾來說，他恨海德是因為海德邪惡而且沒有人性，同時也因為海德比他強大。他整天提心吊膽，生怕一覺醒來變成海德的樣子，有海德那種邪惡的慾望。海德恨傑基爾，原因卻不同。他怕死——怕受到殺人的懲罰，這一點迫使他把傑基爾的身體當作藏身之所。但他又憎恨這所監獄，總想掙扎著逃出來，控制一切。他怨恨傑基爾軟弱、憂鬱、無助的樣子，但他最恨的還是傑基爾對他的厭惡，所以他有時跟我搗蛋，激怒我。他撕我的書，在上面塗鴉，他還燒我的信，甚至毀了一幅我父親的肖像。

只是海德自己怕死，所以才沒有殺了我。他對生命渴望極了，他明白要是殺了我，他自己也就死了。我心裡不禁對他多少有點憐憫。

繼續懺悔也沒有用了。最終，災難還是到了，終於給我的懲罰畫上了句號。很快我將永遠失去自己的面貌和本性，因為只剩沒幾副藥了。我派普爾去了同一家藥店，他買回來後我就配了一劑，同樣有沸騰，有煙霧冒出來，顏色從紅變到紫，但沒變成綠色。我喝下去，望著鏡子，然而發現無效，愛德華·海德的面孔還在瞪著我。

我想普爾已經告訴你我找藥找遍了倫敦，但卻毫無結果，我這才明白第一批貨是不純的，正是我和藥劑師都還不認識的那種雜質使我的藥成功了。這麼說來，我配的藥便是偶然的發現，不可能重複的。

一個星期過去了，我用完了最後一點第一批買的藥，這會兒我又是亨利·傑基爾了。但我寫不了多少東西了，時間不夠了。如果寫這些懺悔時又變成海德，他會把這些紙撕成碎片來氣我的。但如果我寫完了，他也許不會注意到的。實際上，他也活不了多久，已經成了變態的人，就像陷阱裡的困獸一樣，坐在椅子裡打戰，哭泣，又是恨，又是怕。他一直聽著警察的敲門聲。他們會抓住他，把他送上絞刑架嗎？他有勇氣在最後一刻服下毒藥嗎？

好了，這些事我也管不了了。此刻是我生命真正終結的時刻。看到這個時，您所認識的亨利·傑基爾已經死了，剩下的故事是愛德華·海德的了。我放下了筆，同時也讓亨利·傑基爾不幸的一生結束了吧。

第五級