Compelling Conversations: for Advanced students

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

“The only way to make sure people you agree with can speak is to support the rights of people you don’t agree with.”

—Eleanor Holmes Norton (1937-),U.S. Congresswoman

Agreeing to Disagree

Life would be boring if we all agreed all the time. The following phrases let you state your position clearly while keeping the conversation friendly. Read all phrases aloud. Expressing agreement or disagreement.

I agree.

I don’t agree.

That’s right.

Sorry, I disagree.

Absolutely.

I can’t go along with that.

That’s true.

That’s not completely true.

I believe that.

I don’t believe that.

That’s a good idea.

That’s wrong.

What about x, y, or z ?

That’s right on target.

That’s way off base.

That’s quite a stretch.

I concur.

I can’t agree.

On the contrary/I dissent.

That’s valid.

That’s invalid.

That’s not always true.

I accept that.

I reject that.

I can’t accept that.

I partly agree.

I support that.

I can’t support that.

I reject that idea.

That idea has my vote.

I have a different idea. / I have a better idea.

I definitely agree.

I beg to differ.

I see things differently.

I strongly agree.

That doesn’t make sense.

Is that logical?

I couldn’t agree more.

That seems simplistic.

I think you are wrong here.

You go, girl!

I can’t go there!

Vocabulary

Choose the words you already know. Look up the other words.

invalid | support | assumption | response | accept

reject | deny | results | consequences

Agree? or Disagree? Part I

Do you agree or disagree with the following proverbs? Why? Discuss with your conversation partner.

1. The best things in life are free.

2. Children should be seen and not heard.

3. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

4. Money is the root of all evil.

5. Honesty is the best policy.

6. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

7. Behind every successful man there’s a woman.

8. The end justifies the means.

9. Winning is everything.

10. Better to be a live dog than a dead lion.

11. Persistence pays.

12. There is no good war and no bad peace.

13. Your best friend is yourself.

14. Never judge a movie by its preview.

15. You can’t keep a good man down.

16. A closed mouth catches no flies.

17. The best defense is a good offense.

18. Money makes the world go round.

Activity

Choose a topic about which you and your conversation partner disagree. Spend five minutes discussing your opinions in a friendly, respectful way. Use some of the phrases at the beginning of this chapter to keep the conversation flowing.

Seeking Clarification

Sometimes we need more information. Read each of these phrases aloud to your partner.

So?

What do you mean?

Can you rephrase that?

Why do you say that?

Can you give another example?

Have you considered?

What if the situation were a bit different?

What if?

Do you think that is the only reason/cause/explanation?

How far would you go?

Are you sure?

Why are you so sure?

What’s your source for that bit of information?

How do you know?

Can you imagine some alternatives?

Is there another possibility?

Agree? or Disagree? Part II

Consider each of the following common statements, attitudes, or proverbs. Which statement of agreement or disagreement best expresses your reaction?

1. Seeing is believing.

2. Appearances are deceiving.

3. Beauty promises happiness.

4. Be good and you will be happy.

5. No pain, no gain.

6. No pain, no pain.

7. The bigger, the better.

8. Less is more.

9. Cream rises to the top.

10. The unexpected always happens.

11. You get what you pay for.

12. A penny saved is a penny earned.

13. Two can live as cheaply as one.

14. Bad news travels fast.

15. Liars should have good memories.

16. Life is not a popularity contest.

17. Counting your money is how you keep score.

18. You can’t take it with you.

19. Time heals all wounds.

20. Never forget; never forgive.

21. Don’t throw your pearls before swine.

22. A donkey prefers hay to gold.

Discussing Quotations

Here are some strong statements from a variety of prominent individuals. What do you think? Do you completely agree? Mostly disagree? Feel neutral? Strongly disagree? Is the statement an exaggeration? How? Please give examples and reasons to support your point of view as you discuss these statements with your partner.

1. “True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.”

—Francois Duc De La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680), French writer

2. “A man will fight harder for his interest than for his rights.”

—Napoleon (1769-1821), French leader and military genius

3. “Today’s audience knows more about what’s on television than what’s in life.”

—Larry Gelbart (1928-2009), actor, writer, and producer

4. “Art is the proper task of life.”

—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German philosopher

5. “Nobody minds having what is too good for them.”

—Jane Austen (1775-1821), English novelist

6. “Nothing is so dangerous as an ignorant friend; a wise enemy is much better.”

—Jean de La Fontaine (1621-1695), French poet

7. “Permissiveness is the principle of treating children as if they were adults; and the tactic of making sure they will never reach that stage.”

—Dr. Thomas Szasz (1921-), psychiatrist

8. “Nationalism: An infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.”

—Albert Einstein (1879-1955), Time Magazine’s Man of the 20th Century

9. “Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.”

—Richard Lamm (1935-), former governor of Colorado

10. “If two ride on a horse, one must ride behind.”

—William Shakespeare (1564-1616), great English playwright

11. “Experience is the name everyone gives their mistakes.”

—Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Irish playwright

12. “We make war so we may live in peace.”

—Aristotle (384-322 B.C.E.), Greek philosopher

“I never learned from a man who agreed with me.”

—Robert Heinlein (1907-1988), American writer

On Your Own

Scan the editorial page of a publication. Pick a letter to the editor, editorial, or op-ed that “sounds right” to you. Share it with your conversation partner or your class and explain your choice.

What are some controversial issues in your country? Make a list of five topics that people are debating. Which one do you think is most important? Why?