# ■ 19 Bathsheba and Gabriel

Gabriel arrived at Boldwood's house about five minutes after the shooting. The villagers were all shocked and silent，but Bathsheba was sitting on the floor，calmly holding Troy's head.

‘Gabriel，’she said simply，‘I'm afraid it's too late，but ride to Casterbridge for a doctor. Mr Boldwood has shot my husband Gabriel obeyed at once，and while riding along was tinking so hard about the shooting that in the darkness he failed to notice a man walking along the road to Casterbridge. That man was Boldwood，on his way to Casterbridge to confess to his crime.

Bathsheba ordered the body to be removed to her house，and by herself she washed and dressed her dead husband for burial. But when the doctor，the vicar and Gabriel arrived，and she no longer needed to be strong，her self-control finally broke，and she became very ill. On the doctor's advice she was put to bed，and her illness continued for several months.

At his trial the following March Boldwood was found guilty of murder，for which the usual punishment was death. However，Weatherbury people began to protest publicly that he should not be held responsible for the crime. Over the last few weeks the villagers had noticed how his moods changed from wild despair to feverish excitement. He had forgotten his farm and even lost the previous year's harvest. And a pile of carefully wrapped parcels of dresses and jewels was found at his house，addressed to‘Bathsheba Boldwood’and dated six years ahead. These were accepted by the judges as signs of his mad-ness，and in the end Boldwood was sent to prison for life. Gabriel knew that Bathsheba blamed herself for Troy's death，and would have blamed herself even more for Boldwood's.

Her health improved only very slowly. She hardly ever went out of the house or garden，and did not discuss her feelings with anyone，even Liddy. But by the summer she was begin-ning to spend more time in the open air，and one August evening she walked to the churchyard. She could hear the village children inside the church practising their singing for Sunday. She went straight to Fanny's grave，and read Troy's words on the large gravestone：

This stone was put up by Francis Troy in loving memory of Fanny Robin，who died on October 9，1866，aged 20Underneath，on the same stone，were the words she had added：

In the same grave lies Francis Troy who died on December 24，1867，aged 26

As she listened to the sweet voices of the children coming from the church，and thought of the pain she had experienced in her short life，tears came to her eyes. She wished she were as innocent as those children again. She was still crying when she suddenly noticed Gabriel Oak，who had come up the path on his way to the church，and was watching her sympathetically.

‘Are you going in？’she asked，trying to dry her tears.

‘I was，’he replied. ‘I'm one of the church singers，you know，and tonight's my practice evening. But I don't think I'll go in now. ’There was a pause，while they both tried to think of something to say. At last Gabriel said slowly，‘I haven't seen you，to speak to，for a long time. Are you better now？’

‘Yes，I am，’she replied. ‘I came to look at the gravestone. ’

‘Eight months ago it happened！’said Gabriel. ‘It seems like yesterday to me. ’

‘And to me it seems like years，long years ago. ’

‘There's something I must tell you，’said Gabriel，hesitating. ‘The fact is，I won't be your farm manager much longer. I'm thinking of leaving England，and farming in America. ’

‘Leaving England！’she cried in surprise and disappoint-ment. ‘But everyone thought you would rent poor Mr Bold-wood's farm and manage it yourself！’

‘The lawyers have offered it to me，it's true. But I'll be leaving Weatherbury next spring. I have my reasons. ’

‘And what shall I do without you？Oh Gabriel，we're such old friends！You've helped me so much in the past，and now that I'm more helpless than ever，you're going away！’

‘It's unfortunate，’said Gabriel unhappily. ‘It's because of that helplessness that I have to go，’and he walked so guickly out of the churchyard that she could not follow him.

In the next few months Bathsheba noticed miserably that Gabriel communicated with her as little as possible，and then only by messenger. She could not avoid thinking that he，the last friend she had，had lost interest in supporting her，and was about to desert her. On the day after Christmas she received the letter from him which she had been expecting. In it he explained that he would leave the farm in three months’time.

Bathsheba sat and cried bitterly over this letter. She was deeply hurt that Gabriel no longer loved her. She was also worried about having to manage the farm by herself again. She thought about it all morning，and was so depressed by the afternoon that she put on her cloak and found her way to where Gabriel lived. She knocked at the door.

‘Who is it？’said Gabriel，opening the door. ‘Oh，It's you，mistress！’

‘I won't be your mistress much longer，will I，Gabriel？’she said sadly.

‘Well，no，I suppose not. ’

Because these two people，who knew each other well，were meeting in a strange place，they felt like the strangers they were when they first met，and neither spoke for a moment.

‘Gabriel，perhaps I shouldn't have come，but I—I thought I must have offended you，and that's why you're going away.

‘Offended me！You couldn't do that，Bathsheba！’

‘Couldn't I？’she said gladly. ‘But then why are you going？’

‘I'm not going to America，you know. I decided not to，when you seemed against the idea. No，I've arranged to rent Mr Boldwood's farm，and I could have been your farm manager as well，if—well—if people hadn't said things about us. ’

‘What？’said Bathsheba，surprised. ‘What things？’

‘Well，if you must know，that I'm just waiting and hoping for the chance to marry you some day. ’

‘Marry me！That's too foolish—too soon—to think of！’

‘Yes，of course，it's foolish. I certainly agree. ’

‘“Too soon”were the words I used. ’

‘I'm sorry，but I think you said“too foolish”. ’

‘I'm sorry too，’she replied with tears in her eyes. ‘“Too soon”was what I said. But it doesn't matter a bit，not at all—but I only meant“too soon”. Indeed，you must believe me！’

Gabriel looked into her face for a long time. ‘Bathsheba，’he said，coming closer，‘If I only knew one thing—whether you'd allow me to love you，and marry you after all—if I only knew！’

‘But you never will know，’she whispered.

‘Why not？’

‘Because you never ask. ’

‘Oh！’said Gabriel delightedly. ‘My darling—’

‘You should never have sent me that cruel letter this morning. It shows you don't care a bit about me！’

‘Now Bathsheba，’he said，laughing，‘you know very well that I had to be very careful，as a single man working for you，a good-looking young woman. I've been so worried about your good name. That's why I was going to leave. ’

‘And that's the only reason？Oh，I'm so glad I came！’she cried thankfully，as she got up to leave. ‘I've thought so much more about you since I imagined you didn't even want to see me again. But Gabriel，I shouldn't have come to visit you！I seem to be courting you！How awful！’

‘Well，I've courted you，my beautiful Bathsheba，for a very long time，so one visit from you isn't much to ask. ’

As he walked back to the farmhouse with her，they talked of his plans for Boldwood's farm. They spoke very little of their feelings for each other. They were such old friends that expressions of love were probably unnecessary. Their shared interests and their long，friendly relationship had given them a complete understanding of each other's character，and this finally developed，after their wedding，into a love that nothing could destroy.

■ 19 芭絲謝芭與蓋伯瑞爾

槍擊事件過去約五分鐘後，蓋伯瑞爾來到伯德伍德的家。村民們都被震懾住了，一言不發。芭絲謝芭坐在地上，平靜地捧著託伊的頭。

“蓋伯瑞爾，”她淡淡地說，“恐怕太晚了，請你騎馬到卡斯特橋給請個醫生來。伯德伍德先生向我丈夫開槍了。”蓋伯瑞爾立即遵命行事，他一邊騎馬前行，一邊滿腦子考慮槍擊託伊的事，所以沒有注意到黑暗中有個人也在沿著大路走向卡斯特橋。那個人便是伯德伍德，準備去卡斯特橋坦白自己的罪行。

芭絲謝芭吩咐人們把屍體抬到她家，然後獨自給死去的丈夫洗淨、穿衣，準備埋葬。然而，等醫生、牧師、蓋伯瑞爾來到時，她便用不著再硬撐了，她便無法再剋制自己，病倒了。遵照醫生吩咐，人們把她抬到床上。她連續病了幾個月。

三月份，經過審判，伯德伍德被判犯有殺人罪。這種罪通常是要處以死刑的。然而，威瑟伯裡的人們公開抗議，認為他並不應對此罪行負責。在事發前幾星期，人們便已經注意到他的情緒發生了變化，原先是絕望之極，後來又激動不安。他完全置農場於不顧，甚至頭一年的收成也損失掉了。在他家，人們找到幾個精心包好的包裹，裝著衣服和首飾上面寫著“給芭絲謝芭·伯德伍德，”日期則是六年以後。法官們認為，這表明他已精神失常，因而伯德伍德最終被判終生臨禁。蓋伯瑞爾明白，芭絲謝芭在為託伊的死而自責，如果伯德伍德死了，她會更加嚴厲地自責的。

她康復得非常之慢，幾乎從未出門，也從未同任何人談起過她自己的感情問題，包括利蒂。不過，夏天到來時，她在戶外的時間多起來了，八月的一個傍晚，她走到了教堂墓地。她聽見村裡的孩子們正在教堂裡練習星期天的禱歌。她徑直走向範妮墓邊，讀著大大的墓碑上託伊的話：

謹立此碑懷念可愛的範妮·羅賓。

她於1866年10月9日逝世，年20歲。

立碑人弗蘭西斯·託伊

在同一墓碑的下方，刻著她加上的字：

同一墓穴中安息著弗蘭西斯·託伊，他於1867年12月24日逝世，年26歲。

她聽著教堂裡傳來的孩子們甜美的嗓音，想著自己這短短的生活中所經歷的痛苦，不禁熱淚盈眶。她真希望自己也能像那些孩子一般天真無邪。她正哭著，突然注意到蓋伯瑞爾·奧克已在向教堂走來，正同情地注視著她。

“你要進教堂去嗎？”她邊問，邊把淚水擦乾。

“我本來要去的，”他答道。“我是教堂唱詩班的，今晚輪到我排練。不過，我現在不想進去了。”兩人都頓住了，都在盡力找話說。最後，蓋伯瑞爾緩緩地說：“有好長時間沒有見你，也沒有和你說話了。你現在好些了嗎？”

“好些了，”她回答。“我來看看這墓碑。”

“八個月以前的事了！”蓋伯瑞爾說。“可我覺得好像是昨天一樣。”

“我可覺得像好多、好多年以前似的。”

“我有話得告訴你，”蓋伯瑞爾猶豫地說。“我不能再為你經管農場了，我在考慮離開英國，去美國種地。”

“離開英國！”她喊道，既感到意外，又覺得失望。“可人們都以為你會租下伯德伍德的農場自己經營的呀！”

“沒錯，律師們向我提出來過，可我到春天就要離開威瑟伯裡，我有我的理由。”

“沒有你我怎麼辦呢？蓋伯瑞爾啊，咱們交朋友這麼長時間了。過去你給了我那麼多的幫助，現在我比任何時候都需要幫助，可你卻要走了！”

“真是不幸，”蓋伯瑞爾不快地說。“就是因為這種無援無助我才不得不走的。”說著，他快步走出墓地，她想跟卻沒能跟得上他。

接下來的幾個月，芭絲謝芭痛苦地注意到，蓋伯瑞爾一直盡少與她直接交往，最後只與她書信往來了。她不由得認為她這個最後的朋友已不想再幫助她，在準備遺棄她。聖誕節後的那天，她收到了他的信，與她的預料一樣。信中，他解釋說，他將於三個月後離開農場。

芭絲謝芭拿著信坐在那裡，傷心地哭了起來。蓋伯瑞爾不再愛她，使她感到深受傷害。同時她也因自己又要管理農場而感到擔憂。整個上午她都在考慮這件事情，下午來到時，她深感沮喪，於是披上斗篷向蓋伯瑞爾的住處走去。她敲了敲門。

“誰呀？”蓋伯瑞爾一邊開門，一邊問道。“啊呀，是你呀，主人。”

“我當主人不會當幾天了，是不是，蓋伯瑞爾？”她悲傷地說。

“嗯，是的，我想是吧。”

此時，這兩個彼此相熟的人在新的地方相會，因此，他們都覺得像彼此初次見面時那樣陌生，兩人都一時無話。

“蓋伯瑞爾，也許我本不該來，可我——我想肯定是我得罪你了，所以你才想要離開。”

“得罪我！你不會得罪我的，芭絲謝芭！”

“我不會嗎？”她高興地說。“那你為什麼要走呢？”

“我不去美國了。我看你似乎不贊成我去，我就決定不去了。我已經打算好租下伯德伍德先生的農場，而且，要不是人們說咱倆的那些話，我還可以給你經管農場。”

“什麼？”芭絲謝芭詫異地問道。“說咱倆什麼？”

“呃，如果你真要知道，我告訴你。他們說我在等待並盼望有一天找機會娶你。”

“娶我！這太愚蠢——太快了——沒法想象！”

“當然了，是太愚蠢，我同意。”

“我是說‘太快了’。”

“對不起，我還以為你說的是‘太愚蠢’呢。”

“我也對不起你，”她兩眼含著淚回答道。“我說的是‘太快了’，不過這沒關係，一點關係都沒有——我的意思只是說‘太快了’。真的，你得相信我！”

蓋伯瑞爾長時間地望著她的臉。“芭絲謝芭，”他說著走近了她，“我真想知道一件事——你讓不讓我愛你，讓不讓我娶你——我真想知道！”

“可你絕不會知道的，”她悄聲地說。

“為什麼不會？”

“因為你從來不問。”

“啊！”蓋伯瑞爾喜悅地說，“親愛的——”

“你今天早上怎麼能把那封殘酷的信送給我！那說明你一點也不把我當回事！”

“芭絲謝芭，”他笑著說，“你非常清楚，我必須非常小心行事才行，我是個給你幹活的單身男人，你卻是個漂亮的年輕女人。我一直為你的好名聲而擔憂，所以我才準備走的。”

“就這一個原因？啊，我真慶幸我來了你這兒，”她欣慰地喊道，說著起身準備離去。“自從我以為你不想再見到我以來，我一直在想你呀！可是，蓋伯瑞爾，不應該是我來看你！倒像是我在追你！太可怕了！”

“不對，是我在追你，漂亮的芭絲謝芭，追了你好久，所以請你來看我一次也不算多。”

他陪她走回屋去，一路上，他們談論著他經營伯德伍德農場的打算，而關於彼此之間的感情卻談得很少。他們二人已相知很深，互相表述愛情或許已無必要。他們二人的共同利益、互相之間的長久友誼已經使他們彼此十分了解對方的性格，而這種瞭解在他們二人結婚之後，又發展成了一種無堅不摧的愛情。

第六級