# ■ 9 Queen Alice

‘Well， this is grand！’said Alice．She got up andwalked around for a while，but the crown feltvery heavy and strange，so she sat down again. Then she no-ticed that the Red Queen and the White Queen were now sit-ting on either side of her．How they had got there，she had noidea．But she was not at all surprised． Nothing could surpriseher now in the looking-glass world．

‘Now I am a Queen，’said Alice，‘does this mean that thegame of chess has finished，or-’

‘Speak when you're spoken to！’the Red Queen said．‘Think before you speak， and write it down afterwards．’

‘But I only-’Alice began·

‘And you can't be a Queen， ’the Red Queen went on，‘un-til you've done your lessons．’

‘Are you good at sums？’ the White Queen asked．‘What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one？’

‘I don't know，’said Alice．‘I lost count．But why-’

‘She can't do sums，’said the Red Queen．‘What about lan-guages？ And can you read？’

‘Of course I can read！’Alice said．‘And I know a littleFrench，but I really don't see why-’

‘It's clear，’said the White Queen，shaking her head sadly，‘that she wants to argue about something，but she doesn'tknow what to argue about！’

Alice decided it would be safer to say nothing， and for awhile there was silence． Then the Red Queen said to theWhite Queen，‘I invite you to Alice's party this afternoon．’

‘And I invite you，’the White Queen replied．‘But I musthave a rest first，’she went on．‘I am so sleepy．’

‘And so must I，’said the Red Queen．She looked at Alice．‘You can sing to us，to help us sleep．’

Then the two Queens put their heads against Alice's shoul-ders．In a moment they were both asleep，and snoring loudly．

After a while the snoring seemed to change and began tosound almost like music．Alice thought that she could evenhear some words. She listened hard， and suddenly she foundthat the Queens had disappeared， and she was standing infront of a tall and very grand-looking doorway．Above the doorwere the words QUEEN ALICE in large letters．

Alice knocked，and the door flew open．There seemed to behundreds of voices singing， and Alice could now hear thewords very clearly．They went like this：

Then fill up the glasses with everything nice，

And cover the table with buttons and rice．

Put cats in the coffee，and salt in the tea-

And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three！

‘I suppose I should go in，’Alice said to herself．So in shewent，and at once everyone in the hall became silent．

As she walked down the long hall， she saw that there wereanimals， birds， and even a few flowers among the crowd seat-ed round the table. At the top there were three chairs； theRed and White Queens had taken two of them， but the middleone was empty． Alice sat down，feeling a little uncomfortableand wishing that someone would speak．

At last the Red Queen began．‘You've missed the fish．Bring the meat now！’And at once the waiters put a large jointof meat in front of Alice．

But before she could begin to cut up the joint， the RedQueen spoke again．‘Let me introduce you to the joint，’ shesaid．‘Alice-Meat．Meat-Alice．’

The joint of meat then stood up on the plate and curtsied toAlice．Alice，feeling both frightened and amused，picked upthe knife and fork．‘May I give you some meat？’she said，looking from one Queen to the other．

‘Certainly not！’the Red Queen said．‘It isn't polite to cutanyone you've been introduced to．Take away the joint！’

The waiters immediately carried away the joint，andbrought a large plum-pudding in its place．

‘Please don't introduce me to the pudding，’said Alicequickly，‘or we shall get no dinner at all．’

But the Red Queen said loudly，‘Pudding- Alice． Alice-Pudding．Take away the pudding！’And the waiters took itaway at once．

Then Alice decided to give an order herself．‘Waiter！Bringback the pudding！’When the pudding appeared again，shequickly cut off a piece and gave it to the Red Queen．

‘That's really friendly！’said the Pudding．‘How wouldyou like someone to cut a piece out of you？’

Alice was too surprised to speak．

‘Say something，’said the Red Queen．‘You can't leave allthe conversation to the pudding！’

By this time the party was beginning to get very noisy，andmore and more strange things were happening．Bottles andplates were now walking around on the table，arm in arm， andthe White Queen began to whisper in Alice's ear a long poemabout fishes．Then the Red Queen screamed at the top of hervoice，‘Let's drink to Queen Alice's health！’

Some of the animals put their glasses upside-down on theirheads，others got inside them or knocked them over on thetable．The forks began to dance with the spoons，and the noisegot wilder and wilder．The White Queen said in Alice's ear，‘You must stand up and give thanks now， you know．’

Alice stood up．‘I must stop all this！’she cried，and shetook hold of the table-cloth with both hands．One good pull，and everything came crashing down on the floor．

‘And now for you！’she went on， turning to the RedQueen，who had suddenly become very much smaller and wasrunning around on the table．‘You started all this trouble，and I'll shake you into a kitten！Yes，I will！’

■ 9 愛麗絲王后

“啊，多壯觀！”愛麗絲說。她站起來，來回走了一會兒，但王冠太重，戴著不自在，她重又坐下。然後，她發現紅方王后與白方王后正坐在她兩邊。她不知道她們怎麼會坐在這兒的。但她一點兒也不奇怪。現在鏡中世界的一切對她來說都是不足為奇的。

愛麗絲說：“現在我是王后了，這是否意味著象棋遊戲就到此為止了，或者--”

“有人跟你講話，你才講，講話前要先思考，過後再記下來。”紅方王后說。

“但我只是--”愛麗絲開口說。

紅方王后又說：“直到你學好功課，你才能當王后。”

“你擅長算術嗎？ 1加 1加 1加 1加1加1加1總共得多少？”白方王后問。

愛麗絲答：“我不知道。我算不清。但為什麼--”

“她做不了算術，語言能力怎樣？能讀書嗎？”紅方王后問。

愛麗絲答道：“我當然會讀書，我還懂點法語，可是我真的不明白為什麼--”

“顯然她想爭辯點什麼，但不清楚想爭辯些什麼！”白方王后遺憾地搖搖頭說。

愛麗絲判定一言不發更保險。有一會兒，大家都不吭聲。隨後，紅方王后對白方王后說：“我邀請你參加今天下午愛麗絲的聚會。”

白方王后答道：“我也邀請你去。但我得先休息一下。”她又補充了一句說：“我太困了。”

“我也同樣。”紅方王后說。她看著愛麗絲，“你可以給我們唱歌，幫助我們入睡。”

然後，兩個王后把頭都靠在愛麗絲的肩膀上。一會兒，她們就睡著了，鼾聲如雷。

過了片刻，鼾聲似乎變了聲調，聽起來幾乎成了音樂。愛麗絲認為她甚至可以聽出一些歌詞。她用心地聽，突然發現兩個王后不見了，自己站到了雄偉壯觀的一個門廊前。門上方寫著，“愛麗絲王后”幾個大字。

愛麗絲敲了敲，門突然打開了。裡面似乎有成百的聲音在歌唱，愛麗絲歌詞聽得很清楚。歌詞是這樣的：

讓玻璃杯充滿一切好東西，

讓桌子擺滿鈕釦和米飯。

把貓放入咖啡，給茶加點鹽--

熱烈歡迎愛麗絲王后的到來。

愛麗絲對自己說：“我想我應該進去了。”她走了進去，頓時大廳裡一片寂靜。

她走過長長的大廳時，圍坐在桌旁的人群中還有牲畜、飛鳥，甚至還有幾種花。上座的地方擺著三張椅子，紅白王后佔了兩個位置，中間一個空著。愛麗絲坐了下來，但感到有點拘束，希望有人發言。

紅方王后終於開口了。“你沒吃上魚。現在上肉！”男侍即刻把一大塊腿肉放在愛麗絲前面。

未等她切開腿肉，紅方王后又講了：“讓我把你介紹給腿肉，”她說，“愛麗絲，這位是肉。肉，這位是愛麗絲。”

於是，腿肉在盤裡站立起來，向愛麗絲行屈膝禮。愛麗絲拿起刀叉，心裡感到既恐懼又好玩，目光從一個王后轉到另一個王后，問：“我可以給你們分些肉嗎？”

紅方王后說：“當然不行！把剛剛介紹認識的人切了是不禮貌的，把腿肉拿走！”

男侍馬上把腿肉拿走，換上了一個大幹果布丁。

愛麗絲搶著說：“請別做介紹了，否則我們晚餐就什麼也沒有了。”

但紅方王后還是大聲說道：“布丁，這位是愛麗絲。愛麗絲，這位是布丁。把布丁拿走！”男侍又馬上把它拿走了。

然後，愛麗絲決定自己來點個菜，“男侍！把布丁拿回來！”布丁一端上來，她就快速地切下一塊遞給紅方王后。

布丁說：“你太友好了！有人從你身上切下一塊，你感覺怎樣？”

愛麗絲驚訝得說不出話來。

紅方王后說：“講幾句吧。談話中你不能讓布丁唱獨角戲。”

這時，聚會開始喧鬧起來，怪事接連不斷地出現。瓶子、盤子在桌上手挽著手行走，白方王后開始湊著愛麗絲的耳朵背一首有關魚的長詩。然後，紅方王后聲嘶力竭地喊道：“咱們為愛麗絲王后健康乾杯！”

有些牲畜把杯子倒放在頭頂，還有些鑽到杯子裡面去，或者把它們打翻在桌上。叉開始同勺跳起舞來，喧鬧聲越來越響。白方王后衝著愛麗絲的耳朵說：“你現在必須站起來答謝各位了。”

愛麗絲站了起來。“我必須讓這喧譁聲停住！”她叫道，她雙手抓住桌布，狠狠地一拉，桌上的東西統統砸到了地上。

“現在輪到你了！”她轉向紅方王后又說。紅方王后這時突然變小，並在桌上亂竄。“你是這場混亂的罪魁禍首，我要把你搖晃成只小貓！是的，我會的！”