ChinesePod
@ 51054 三十六計
A 哎。
ài.
Ugh.
B 還在和老婆冷戰啊？
hái zài hé lǎopo lěngzhàn a?
You and your wife are still feuding?
A 哎，我什麼辦法都用盡了，但是她軟硬都不吃。
à, wǒ shénme bànfǎ dōu yòngjìn le, dànshì tā ruǎnyìng dōu bù chī.
Agh, I've tried every trick in the book. But no matter what I do, she's not going to budge.
B 看來只能出最後一招了，用古人的智慧《三十六計》。我真是覺得只要掌握了這裡面的精髓，天下就沒有解決不了的事！
kànlai zhǐnéng chū zuìhòu yī zhāo le, yòng gǔrén de zhìhuì 《 Sānshíliù jì 》. wǒ zhēnshì juéde zhǐyào zhǎngwò le zhè lǐmiàn de jīngsuǐ, tiānxià jiù méiyǒu jiějuébùliǎo de shì!
Looks like you're going to have to go all-out and use the wisdom of the ancients, ``The Thirty-six Stratagems." I really think that as long as you've got a firm grip on the essence of these tricks, there's no problem on Earth that can't be solved!
A 清官難斷家務事，三十六計能解決我們夫妻的矛盾？
qīngguān nán duàn jiāwù shì, sānshíliù jì néng jiějué wǒmen fūqī de máodùn?
Not even upright officials can solve family problems. Can ``The Thirty-six Stratagems" really solve our husband-wife issues?
B 你別不相信。我們先來分析你們為什麼不和。
nǐ bié bù xiāngxìn. wǒmen xiān lái fēnxī nǐmen wèishénme bùhé.
Don't go doubting it. First, let's analyze why the two of you aren't getting along.
A 她嫌我老是忙工作，冷落了她。可我也是為了這個家啊。
tā xián wǒ lǎoshi máng gōngzuò, lěng luò le tā. kě wǒ yě shì wèile zhège jiā a.
She thinks I spend too much time at work, and I'm giving her the cold shoulder. But I do it for our family!
B 好，你要用“苦肉計”。告訴她你是怎麼每天苦苦打拼，下班站在車上都能睡著。可是只要能讓她過好日子，你再苦再累都無所謂。總之重點就是要讓她感動。
hǎo, nǐ yào yòng `` kǔròu jì" . gàosu tā nǐ shì zěnme měitiān kǔ kǔ dǎpīn, xiàbān zhàn zài chēshang dōu néng shuìzháo. kěshì zhǐyào néng ràng tā guò hǎorìzi, nǐ zài kǔ zài lèi dōu wúsuǒwèi. zǒngzhī zhòngdiǎn jiùshì yào ràng tā gǎndòng.
OK. To win her trust, you should show that you're sacrificing yourself. Tell her about how you bust your hump day after day. In the train on the way home you're tired enough to sleep. But as long as she can live well, you don't care how hard you have to work or how tired you get. The most important thing is that you need to move her.
A 哎，她耍脾氣，已經回孃家了！我苦給誰看啊！
ai, tā shuǎ píqi, yǐjīng huí niáng jiā le! wǒ kǔ gěi shéi kàn a!
Aw, she's having a temper tantrum. She's gone back to her mother's home. Now who can I tell how hard I work?
B 那就用“反客為主”計！登門拜訪老丈人家，而且到了那兒別把自己當客人，要搶著幹活，然後跟老人家說說你的一片苦心。這樣就算你老婆再鐵石心腸，她爸媽都會幫你說話的。
nà jiù yòng `` fǎnkèwéizhǔjì" ! dēngmén bàifǎng lǎozhàngrén jiā, érqiě dào le nàr bié bǎ zìjǐ dāng kèrén, yào qiǎng zhe gànhuó, ránhòu gēn lǎorénjiā shuō shuo nǐ de yīpiàn kǔxīn. zhèyàng jiùsuàn nǐ lǎopo zài tiěshíxīncháng, tā bà mā dōu huì bāng nǐ shuōhuà de.
So just switch the roles of host and guest! Pay your in-laws a visit. And when you arrive, don't act like a guest. Tell them all about how hard you work. That way, no matter how hard-hearted your wife is, her mom and dad will put in a good word for you.
A 這招我用過了。可是她死活不回來。
zhè zhāo wǒ yòng guo le. kěshì tā sǐhuó bù huílai.
I've used that one. But she absolutely will not come back.
B 那你就使“空城計”。虛實結合，對她時冷時熱。這樣一來，她就抓不住你心裡到底在想什麼，到時候肯定乖乖地來找你。
nà nǐ jiù shǐ `` kōngchéng jì" . xūshíjiéhé, duì tā shílěngshírè. zhèyàngyīlái, tā jiù zhuābuzhù nǐ xīnli dàodǐ zài xiǎng shénme, dào shíhou kěndìng guāiguāi di lái zhǎo nǐ.
Then bluff. Use a combination of illusion and reality. Blow hot and cold with her. That way, she won't be able to get a grip on how you really feel. On the contrary, she'll come looking for you herself.
A 這招還比較有水平。可是，如果她連這一套都不吃，我就真得走投無路了。
zhè zhāo hái bǐjiào yǒu shuǐpíng. kěshì, rúguǒ tā lián zhè yītào dōu bù chī, wǒ jiù zhēn de zǒutóuwúlù le.
That's not a bad idea. But if she still doesn't bite, I'll really have come to the end of the road.
B 別灰心，還有三十多計能用呢。
bié huīxīn, hái yǒu sānshí duō jì néngyòng ne.
Don't lose hope. There are still thirty-some plans you can try.
Key Vocabulary
冷戰 lěngzhàn Cold War
軟硬都不吃 ruǎnyìng dōu bù chī nothing is acceptable
《三十六計》 Sānshíliù jì 36 stratagems
精髓 jīngsuǐ quintessence
清官難斷家務事 qīngguān nán duàn jiāwù shì even an honest official has difficulty judging family matters
不和 bùhé not get along well
冷落 lěng luò to give the cold shoulder
苦肉計 kǔròu jì to complain to get sympathy
耍脾氣 shuǎ píqi to have temper tantrums
反客為主計 fǎnkèwéizhǔjì the strategy of reversing the positions of guest and host
死活 sǐhuó at any cost
空城計 kōngchéng jì bluff
虛實結合 xūshíjiéhé to combine truth and falsehood
時冷時熱 shílěngshírè to blow hot and cold
走投無路 zǒutóuwúlù to be at an impasse
Supplementary Vocabulary
《孫子兵法》 Sūnzǐ Bīngfǎ Sunzi's The Art of War
美人計 měirénjì sexual entrapment
欲擒故縱 yùqíngùzòng loosen the reins to be able to tighten them later
連環計 liánhuánjì interlocking stratagems
三十六計，走為上 sānshíliùjì The best of the 36 stratagems is running away
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