ChinesePod
@ 40466 Chinese Identity
A 有時候我真不知道自己屬於哪裡。
yǒushíhou wǒ zhēn bù zhīdào zìjǐ shǔyú nǎli.
Sometimes I really don’t know where I belong.
B 怎麼說？
zěnme shuō?
What do you mean?
A 雖然我在美國長大，但是我們是那種特別傳統的華人家庭。我一直都和爸媽住在一起。他們比美國的父母嚴厲多了。所以我不像美國朋友那麼自由。但是，我和爸媽的關係還是很親密的。
suīrán wǒ zài Měiguó zhǎngdà, dànshì wǒmen shì nàzhǒng tèbié chuántǒng de huárén jiātíng. wǒ yīzhí dōu hé bàmā zhù yīqǐ. tāmen bǐ Měiguó de fùmǔ yánlì duō le. suǒyǐ wǒ bù xiàng Měiguó péngyou nàme zìyóu. dànshì, wǒ hé bàmā de guānxi hái shì hěn qīnmì de.
Even though I grew up in the States, ours is a very traditional Chinese family. I’ve always lived with my mother and father. They’re a lot stricter than other American parents, so I’m not as free as my American friends. However, I’m really close to my parents.
B 那你來中國學中文是你自己的決定還是他們叫你來的？
nà nǐ lái Zhōngguó xué Zhōngwén shì nǐ zìjǐ de juédìng hái shì tāmen jiào nǐ lái de?
Then was coming to China to learn Chinese your own decision, or did they tell you to do it?
A 是他們叫我來的。其實一開始，我並不情願離開加州，我覺得那是世界上最好的地方。但是現在我反而更享受這裡的自由。我可以獨立地生活、學習、交朋友。
shì tāmen jiào wǒ lái de. qíshí yī kāishǐ, wǒ bìng bù qíngyuàn líkāi Jiāzhōu, wǒ juéde nà shì shìjiè shàng zuìhǎo de dìfang. dànshì xiànzài wǒ fǎnér gèng xiǎngshòu zhèlǐ de zìyóu. wǒ kěyǐ dúlì de shēnghuó, xuéxí, jiāo péngyou.
They told me to do it. Actually, I wasn’t at all eager to leave California at first. I felt it was the best place in the world. Now, though, I really appreciate my freedom here. I can live independently, study, make friends.
B 這不是很好嗎？
zhè bù shì hěn hǎo ma?
So isn’t that good?
A 可是我對自己的身份很困惑。在這兒，大家都把我當成中國人，這讓我很有壓力。其實我的很多想法和做法都美國化了，所以從這方面來說，我並不是一箇中國人。
kěshì wǒ duì zìjǐ de shēnfèn hěn kùnhuò. zài zhèr, dàjiā dōu bǎ wǒ dāngchéng zhōngguórén, zhè ràng wǒ hěnyǒu yālì. qíshí wǒ de hěn duō xiǎngfǎ hé zuòfǎ dōu měiguóhuà le, suǒyǐ cóng zhè fāngmiàn láishuō, wǒ bìng bù shì yī ge zhōngguórén.
But I feel confused about my own identity. Here, everyone treats me like a Chinese person, and that gives me a lot of pressure. In reality, a lot of my ideas and habits are very American, so in that regard I’m really not Chinese at all.
B 你當然是，只不過你在美國長大。
nǐ dāngrán shì, zhǐ bùguò nǐ zài Měiguó zhǎngdà.
Of course you’re Chinese. You just grew up in the USA.
A 哎，這就是矛盾的地方。我常常問自己到底是哪國人？我既不完全是美國人，又不完全是中國人。還有一個大問題，就是我的未來。我男朋友是個土生土長的中國人。我們感情很好。但是他家希望我做個完美的中國太太。可是我的性格太獨立了，沒辦法接受他們的想法。我甚至都不想要孩子。哎，現在我的腦子一片迷茫。誰能告訴我到底該怎麼辦呢？
āi, zhè jiùshì máodùn de dìfang. wǒ chángcháng wèn zìjǐ dàodǐ shì nǎ guó rén? wǒ jì bù wánquán shì měiguórén, yòu bù wánquán shì zhōngguórén. hái yǒu yī ge dà wèntí, jiùshì wǒ de wèilái. wǒ nánpéngyou shì ge tǔshēngtǔzhǎng de zhōngguórén. wǒmen gǎnqíng hěn hǎo. dànshì tā jiā xīwàng wǒ zuò ge wánměi de Zhōngguó tàitai. kěshì wǒ de xìnggé tài dúlì le, méi bànfǎ jiēshòu tāmen de xiǎngfǎ. wǒ shènzhì dōu bù xiǎngyào háizi. āi, xiànzài wǒ de nǎozi yīpiàn mímáng. shéi néng gàosu wǒ dàodǐ gāi zěnme bàn ne?
(sigh) That’s where the contradiction lies. I often ask myself: where am I really from? I’m not completely American, but not totally Chinese either. And there’s another big question: my future. My boyfriend is a local Chinese guy. We are really happy together, but his family wants me to be a perfect Chinese wife. My personality is too independent, I just can’t accept their ideas. I don’t even want children. (sigh) My thoughts are such a mess. Who can possibly tell me what I’m supposed to do?
B 其實你也不用想這麼多。順其自然吧。
qíshí nǐ yě bùyòng xiǎng zhème duō. shùnqízìrán ba.
Actually, you don’t need to over analyze it. Just let the nature take it's course.
Key Vocabulary
屬於 shǔyú
傳統 chuántǒng
華人 huárén
嚴厲 yánlì
並不情願 bìng bù qíngyuàn
反而 fǎnér
困惑 kùnhuò
當成 dāngchéng
矛盾 máodùn
土生土長 tǔshēngtǔzhǎng
完美的 wánměi de
甚至 shènzhì
到底 dàodǐ
迷茫 mímáng
順其自然 shùnqízìrán
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Supplementary Vocabulary
認同 rèntóng
華裔 Huáyì
美籍華人 Měijíhuárén
寧願 nìngyuàn
迷惑 míhuo
誤解 wùjiě
貢獻 gòngxiàn
老套 lǎotào
一片景象 yīpiàn jǐngxiàng
一片空白 yīpiàn kòngbái
順應 shùnyìng
情緒 qíngxù
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